Month: December 2016

As airport security lines stretch out to their full holiday season expanse this month, travelers would be wise to check the TSA’s website to find out what they can bring on the plane and in their checked luggage. They should definitely not follow the example of one woman who, in 2008, was arrested after a Santa Claus ornament she was trying to bring through security was discovered to have a 4.5-inch-long knife concealed inside. (She said that the ornament was a gift and claimed to have no knowledge of its contents.) None of these innovative efforts to smuggle contraband worked, either—but they all get points for creativity.

1. A BURRITO

In May 2016, Customs and Border Protection agents in Tucson, Arizona busted a woman traveling from nearby Nogales for attempting to transport a pound of methamphetamine in what appeared to be burritos, sans any of the typical burrito toppings. (She must have known guacamole is extra.) Drug-sniffing dogs led agents to the loot, which was worth about $3000.

This isn’t the first time Mexican food has hidden something: In April 2014, agents at the Sonoma County Airport discovered an 8.5-inch knife in an enchilada. Because “the passenger’s intent was delicious, not malicious,” the TSA notes on its Instagram, “she was cleared for travel.”

2. A BAG FULL OF STUFFED ANIMALS

A carry-on bag full of plush tigers bound for Iran caught the attention of X-ray operators at a Bangkok, Thailand airport in 2010 when they discovered it also contained a live—and sedated—tiger cub. Authorities spotted the 2-month-old cub’s beating heart in the scan. The Thai woman carrying the bag was arrested, and the cub went to a rescue center.

3. T-SHIRT CANNONS

Who knew those T-shirt cannons they fire up at every NBA game could serve a purpose other than starting a fan brawl in the arena’s upper decks? Smugglers, apparently. U.S. Border Patrol agents reported seizing more than 30 cans of weed worth about $42,500 scattered across an Arizona field in 2012 after smugglers used pneumatic-powered cannons to lob the goods from Mexico over to American soil.

4. AN APRON

One traveler must have thought she wouldn’t make much of a splash when, in 2005, she loaded a specially-made apron with 15 water-filled plastic bags carrying 51 live tropical fish. The woman tucked the walking aquarium under her skirt; after she flew from Singapore to Australia, she was busted by customs agents, who “became suspicious after hearing ‘flipping’ noises coming from the vicinity of her waist,” according to a press release. The woman faced time in prison and a fine of up to $83,617 (USD).

5. SOCKS

It must have been an uncomfortable boat ride for one Norwegian man in 2009 when he traveled from Denmark to Norway with 14 live royal pythons and 10 albino leopard geckos hidden under his clothes. Customs agents were tipped off by a tarantula they found while searching one of the man’s bags and then really tipped off when they noticed the suspect’s “whole body was in constant motion.” He had transported the lizards in cans attached to his thighs and the snakes in socks duct taped to his torso. The man was fined $2256.

6. COLORING BOOKS

In likely the most colorful of smuggling schemes, inmates at a New Jersey prison in 2011 were found to be sneaking in the prescription drug Suboxone on the pages of children’s coloring books. The drug was dissolved into a paste that appeared to be orange paint on the Disney princess-topped pages, which were also scrawled with child-like handwriting in crayon to make things look extra innocent.

7. A SPARE TIRE WELL

Passengers in a Chevy traveling through the Paso Del Norte entry point in El Paso in 2011 failed to mention the wheels of cheese they had hidden in their car’s spare tire well during their customs inspection. The stowed-away snacks reportedly weighed in at 116.5 pounds and cost the not-so-sneaky cheese smugglers nearly $700 in fines. Even more of a bummer? Border Patrol destroyed the cheese in question. “The best course of action to avoid penalties and help prevent the spread of pests and disease in the U.S. is to declare all your items to CBP,” Hector Mancha, CBP El Paso Port Director, said in a press release. “Every traveler is given multiple opportunities to declare their goods. If they declare the item and it is prohibited they can abandon it without incident. However, if they fail to declare the item, the product will be seized and they will face a $300 civil penalty.”

8. A MR. POTATO HEAD

Ecstasy is said to expand your mind, but it’s unclear what effect more than 10 ounces of the drug produced in one famous head. A Mr. Potato Head toy was intercepted by authorities on its way from to Australia from Ireland in 2007 after officers noticed the famous interchangeable face was carrying more than just spare arms within its back panel. Customs official Karen Williams told the Associated Press that “Whilst this is one of the more unusual concealments that we have seen in recent times, people need to be aware that Customs officers are alert to unusual and often outlandish methods of concealment.”

9. COMPUTERS AND EXTERNAL HARD DRIVES

You might be surprised by how often TSA agents find items concealed in the guts of a computer or external hard drive. In 2012, TSA agents in Jacksonville discovered a knife in a computer; the traveler, who had rented the device, taken it apart, and put it back together, didn’t realize he’d left it there. The situation, Bob Burns wrote on the TSA blog, was “similar to when a surgeon stitches a scalpel inside a patient.”

That was an accident, but many other incidents can’t be explained away, like a 2-inch knife concealed in a laptop between the keyboard and the screen; a 3-inch knife found in a laptop’s hard drive at Dayton International Airport; a knife hidden in an external hard drive; or a loaded 9mm handgun held in place inside a computer with duct tape and modeling clay.

10. A HOLLOWED-OUT SHAVING CREAM CAN

One traveler at Omaha International Airport in October 2015 had about as much luck using a can of shaving cream to smuggle something as Jurassic Park‘s Dennis Nedry. When TSA agents ran his bag of liquids through the X-ray machine, they discovered that the can of shaving cream had been hollowed out and a multitool had been hidden inside.

BONUS: CANES

According to the TSA, sword canes—which are exactly what they sound like, swords hidden in canes—are actually usually smuggled by accident. The security agency comes across the concealed weapons a lot: they make regular appearances on the underrated TSA Blog. Most travelers busted for transporting the walking sticks got them as family heirlooms or from antique or thrift stores with no knowledge of their sharp secret, and are more surprised than the TSA agents when they’re flagged.

The Strange History of the Die Hard Movies. No one knew there would eventually be five films, and each one has a production story.
*
A single father sought tips from a cosmetology school on how to style his daughter’s hair. A couple of years later, he is a hair artist, and his daughter has many Christmas styles to show off.
*
Dramatizing Transience: How TV Reflects Our Shifting Concept of “Home.” We are no longer tethered to a place, or a time slot, or a network.
*
AfterShock: Year One in the Life of a Comic Book Startup. A publishing company founded by writers turns out to be good to writers.
*
Spy Satellites Show The Himalayas’ Changing Glaciers. Declassified data gives us forty years to line up and compare.
*
What Happened to Dorothy’s Ruby Slippers? There were several pairs made for The Wizard of Oz, and the pair at the Smithsonian are mismatched.
*
There’s a huge problem with how we judge rape cases. The concept of “reasonable doubt” leads to acquittals, repeat offenders, and reduced trust in victims.
*
Contrary, Lazy, or Subversive (but Funny) Christmas Decorations. When you have some lights, but refuse to be merry.

Even if the men in your life don’t ask for much, you’ll still want to surprise them with something thoughtful this holiday season. From refined to quirky to traditional, one of these 11 gift ideas will make the perfect present for every guy you know.

Mental Floss has affiliate relationships with certain retailers and may receive a small percentage of any sale. But we only get commission on items you buy and don’t return, so we’re only happy if you’re happy. Thanks for helping us pay the bills!

1. FISHERS FINERY CASHMERE HAT; $40

You can’t go wrong with a classic ribbed knit hat, but you can make his gift special by going with this cashmere option. The soft knitted material will keep your favorite guy warm, cozy, and classy for many winters to come.

Find It: Amazon

2. SCOTCH INFUSED TOOTHPICK GIFT SET; $36

After a holiday meal with family and friends, scotch-infused toothpicks offer an unexpected post-dinner treat. Soaked in a single malt scotch and kiln-fired, they’re heartier than what you’d find at the grocery store, and the smoky flavor enhances what is normally an after-meal afterthought. It’s an ideal gift for the man who likes to expect the unexpected.

Find It: Uncommon Goods

3. LIQUID BODY FLASK; $45

For your brother-in-law who organizes epic tailgate parties or your favorite camping buddy, consider a sophisticated-looking flask. Its smooth, shiny exterior and unique shape add interest to an everyday object. And since it’s made of stainless steel, you know it will be durable enough for all kinds of adventures.

Find It: Amazon

4. WEEKENDER BAG; $55

Make sure his overnight trips and weekend getaways are handled, thanks to the Weekender bag. Constructed from canvas and featuring thick leather straps, the Weekender brings more style and polish to a man’s travel necessities than a standard duffle bag ever could. The guy who gets this durable and functional bag will probably want to plan more trips just for an excuse to pack up and explore.

Find It: BeSpokePost

5. PERSONALIZED WHISKEY BARREL; $85 – $200

Do you know someone who has always dreamed of opening his own distillery? That’s a guy who deserves a personalized whiskey barrel. He can age whiskey to his preferred level of oak-tinged flavor in either a 2- or 5-liter barrel. Regardless of size, the smaller barrels allow the alcohol to age more quickly, so he won’t have to wait until next December to enjoy a nice drink. (And if he’s really up for a challenge, include the rum and whiskey making kit as part of the gift.)

Find It: Uncommon Goods

6. LEATHER-WRAPPED CANDLE; $23

Guys enjoy scented candles, too, especially when the candle is handmade and wrapped in rugged, distressed leather. The letters are individually hammered onto the leather, further enhancing the personal vibe. Choose from scents like Bonfire and Cabin to add a masculine feel to any home—or actual cabin.

Find It: Etsy

7. BEVEL SHAVE SYSTEM; $90 FOR STARTER KIT

Let him be his own barber with an at-home luxury shaving kit. Each shave system includes a shave brush to lather and soften hair, a safety razor, and 20 blades. On top of that, the kit’s priming oil, shave cream, and moisturizing balm help to keep his skin free of razor bumps. With this carefully curated kit, he can achieve a professional-level shave.

Find It: Walker & Company

8. SYMA X5C-1 EXPLORERS QUADCOPTER; $69

Raise the bar with a quadcopter. This compact ‘copter is equipped with a 6-axis gyro stabilization system, which makes its flight pattern stable and precise. That’ll come in handy when he’s taking aerial videos with the attached camera. It also features an LED light so that it can be flown at night.

Find It: Amazon

9. WOOD WATCH; $99 – $160

A wooden watch is unexpected, fashionable, and perfect for the man who wants to keep something a little different in his watch rotation. The classic design gives this accessory a classy look and the lightweight feel makes it a good choice for everyday wear, which is great for the outdoorsy type with an office job, or anyone who appreciates a stately wood-paneled room.

Find It: Etsy

10. LEGO TECHNIC PORSCHE 911 GT3 RS; $300

You won’t need to clear space in the garage for this luxury sports car. The LEGO Porsche is an impressive showpiece for the car-obsessed guy who appreciates craftsmanship and attention to detail. Each model has its own unique serial number, a working steering wheel, detailed brake calipers, and tons of other highlights, making it even more fun to catch all of the special features as the model takes shape.

Find It: Amazon

11. BEARD PACK; $40

Help the bearded and mustachioed men you know keep their facial hair lustrous with the Beard Pack. The kit contains a wash, moustache wax, and oil designed to keep facial hair well groomed and healthy. And don’t think that beards are too manly to be maintained; a mechanic designed this kit, after all. Plus, we wouldn’t be surprised to learn that this is how Santa always looks so polished.

Find It: Uncommon Goods

Modern Christmas lore is expansive enough to fill an encyclopedia. We’ve got songs about reindeer and snowmen, weird elf traditions, and letters to Santa. But how much do we really know about Mrs. Claus?

Marriage is a relatively new gig for Santa Claus. There’s no record of his original incarnation, Bishop of Myra St. Nicholas, having a wife. Although it’s not impossible for a fourth century Turkish bishop to have had a wife, the figure would expand and morph until, by the end of the 18th century, the bishop had transitioned into a full-time behavior monitor, jolly-maker, and bringer of toys.

But even mythological love affairs don’t just pop up overnight. It would be years and years before Santa found his lady. The first mention of Mrs. Claus appears in the 1849 short story “A Christmas Legend” by missionary James Rees, in which a couple disguise themselves, angel-like, as travelers, and seek shelter with a family. As it turns out, the two strangers are not the Clauses at all, but long-lost family members in double disguise. Still, real or not real, Rees had created a legend.

Over the next few decades, the legend took shape. Mentions of Mrs. Claus appeared in short stories, poems, and songs. She also began accompanying her husband to Christmas parties. Some reported that she dressed in red; others, like the architect/narrator in E.C. Gardner’s 1887 fanciful essay “A Hickory Back-Log,” decked her out in green and plaid while simultaneously debating himself about her existence:

… if there is a patron saint who presides over this day which the nation devotes to feasting and giving thanks, as Santa Claus presides over the Christmas holidays, and if he has a wife, which of course he must have or he can’t be much of a saint, then this was the person who stood before me.

That person, “keen and nervous, but benignant,” has come to the narrator with a list of complaints about the hazards of contemporary kitchen design, and she intends to get through the entire thing. Several times the architect attempts to speak; each time, Mrs. Claus smacks him down. “Don’t interrupt me,” she says.

Perhaps as a foil for Santa’s benevolence and cheer, Mrs. Claus continued to develop a blunt, take-charge attitude. While often sweet and helpful, she was also feisty. The Mrs. Claus of “America the Beautiful” writer Katharine Lee Bates’s 1889 poem “Goody Santa Claus on a Sleigh Ride” demands to accompany her husband on his rounds and wants to deliver the toys herself.

Home to womankind is suited? Nonsense, Goodman! Let our fruited
Orchards answer for the value of a woman out-of-doors.
Why then bid me chase the thunder, while the roof you’re safely under,
All to fashion fire-crackers with the lighting in their cores?

See! I’ve fetched my snow-flake bonnet, with the sunrise ribbons on it;
I’ve not worn it since we fled from Fairyland our wedding day;
How we sped through iceberg porches with the Northern Lights for torches!
You were young and slender, Santa, and we had this very sleigh.

Jump in quick then? That’s my bonny. Hey down derry! Nonny nonny!
While I tie your fur cap closer, I will kiss your ruddy chin.
I’m so pleased I fall to singing, just as sleigh-bells take to ringing!
Are the cloud-spun lap-robes ready? Tirra-lirra! Tuck me in.

(He did.)

Over the last hundred-plus years, Mrs. Claus seems to have mellowed. These days she’s often depicted as a plump, cheerful helpmeet, filling Santa’s Thermos with cocoa and waving goodbye as his sleigh ascends. But no marriage is that simple. Mrs. Claus was a fireball once, and we like to think that, deep down, she still is.

In 1902, Scotland sent explorers on an official national expedition to Antarctica, headed up by polar scientist and naturalist William S. Bruce. In a uniquely Scottish twist, the two-year-long Scottish National Antarctic Expedition included a position that probably no other country found necessary: an official piper.

Gilbert Kerr, the official piper of the Scotia crew, was tasked with maintaining morale—but he became a postcard icon by posing for the photo above, in which he played the bagpipes in full Highland dress next to an Emperor penguin. The bird, according to the Royal Scottish Geographic Society, “was tethered to a large cooking-pot packed full of snow.” The photograph was taken by Bruce in March 1904 while the Scotia was stuck in the ice on the Weddell Sea.

The idea of Kerr bringing out the bagpipes for a bunch of penguins was apparently also intended to test the effect of music on them, according to the 1906 record of the voyage by Bruce and other members of the expedition, The Voyage of the ‘Scotia’: Being the Record of a Voyage of Exploration in Antarctic Seas. The penguins were not impressed. The explorers wrote that “there was no excitement, no sign of appreciation or disapproval, only sleepy indifference.” They further noted that “it was just all that one man could do to lead one up to the ship: with their beaks they bit fairly hard, and with their long flipper-like wings could hit out decidedly hard.” Kerr’s bagpipes were later donated to a Scottish battalion during World War I and lost at the Battle of the Somme.

These days, of course, polar explorers would not be allowed to tie a penguin to a pot for a photo op. All Antarctic wildlife is protected, and the continent is a nature preserve. However, in Antarctic weather, it’s possible that the man in a kilt (it’s hard to tell in black and white, but those look like bare legs above his socks) was almost as uncomfortable as the wild penguin tied to a kitchen pot. And who knows which poor crew member got bitten in the process.