I wish everyone came with a warning label. You know, a nice clear message pinned to their shirt reading misogynist, misanthrope, potential rapist, or emotionally unavailable – that could have saved me some time and trouble. If everyone did, though, what would yours say?
While you think about that, check out what these 13+people came up with for themselves.
#15. Extreme pressure.
“Contents under extreme pressure.”
#14. Upsetting the introvert.
“Warning: If you are close enough to read this, you are upsetting the introvert.”
#13. Possibly toxic.
“Possibly toxic.
Not suitable for children”
#12. Just sad.
“Warning: will make jokes about traumatic childhood that aren’t really that funny, just sad.”
#11. The standard.
“The standard: “CAUTION: Does NOT play well with others!”
#10. Overanalyzing everything.
“Warning: May seem laid back, but is really over analyzing everything.”
#9. A known hazard.
“WARNING: This person contains a chemical known to the State of California to cause cancer, birth defects, or other reproductive harm.”
#8. Fragile.
“Fragile: handle with care”
#7. High amounts of salt.
“May contain cripplingly low self esteem and high amounts of salt.”
#6. Don’t take it seriously.
“Warning: don’t take anything the sarcastic asshole says seriously.”
#5. Small parts.
“HAZARD – small parts”
#4. Not suitable.
“Allergy Warning:
Contains NUTS
Not suitable for nut and or sesame allergy sufferers due to the methods used in the manufacture of this human.”
#3. Do not use.
“Warning- do not use as a projectile in a catapult”
#2. And by ‘may,’ I mean ‘does.’
“may contain alcohol”
#1. May cause headaches.
“Warning: May cause headaches
I had a chemist show physical signs of pain when I refereed to Oxygen as “H0O2″.”
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