Tumblr Users Talk About What It’s Like to Be a Writer

Oh, the writing life.

So, I’m a writer.

I mean, I’m writing right now. Want proof? Look at this assemblage of words. If I wasn’t a real writer, would I know how to use a word like “assemblage” in a sentence?

Checkmate.

Well, that’s probably enough writing for today. I did good. I should reward myself with several snacks and a season or two of TV.

While I’m doing that, you should enjoy these Tumblr posts about what being a writer is like.

And then help me because oh God the deadlines are closing in.

15. Always give your characters credit

https://whatsername-a-killjoy.tumblr.com/post/189892403346/outlining-your-novel-is-just-learning-just-how

14. “I don’t like writing, I like HAVING WRITTEN.”

https://myhoniahaaka.tumblr.com/post/189438720331/writers-while-crying-did-you-know-that-you-have

13. It’s already a tight 2,000 pages

https://writeness.tumblr.com/post/190162813830/when-i-finish-draft-one-and-realize-that-means-i

12. When being your own boss actually sucks

https://myhoniahaaka.tumblr.com/post/189942336171/writer-demon-write-it-now-or-face-the-writers

11. If you’re not sweating, you’re not writing

https://marlynnofmany.tumblr.com/post/189963392481

10. True story: one time I was commissioned to write a play about animal sex… Google was concerned…

https://h-brook-writes.tumblr.com/post/186853408821/youre-under-arrest-on-suspicion-of-murder

9. There are so many ways for writers to look like psychopaths

https://writeouswriter.tumblr.com/post/187006767058/writer-problems-my-outlining-notes-probably-look

8. Your name and date count

https://writerswritecompany.tumblr.com/post/188406324318

7. Why didn’t I burn that when I had the chance…

https://writerswritecompany.tumblr.com/post/189510009791

6. Try repeating it until it loses all meaning

https://fragmentedink.tumblr.com/post/176076009099/that-writer-mood-when-you-squint-and-glare-at-a

5. Can’t I outsource this?

https://brynwrites.tumblr.com/post/181324579614/me-a-writer-i-dont-want-to-write-this-next

4. Sometimes writing blocks you, sometimes you block writing

https://brynwrites.tumblr.com/post/180121538774/i-have-only-two-writing-moods-1-theres-2k-words

3. Ok now that I say this out loud…

https://disoriented-writer.tumblr.com/post/185340725750/my-brain-listening-to-me-trying-to-explain-the

2. This is the best idea I’ve had in MINUTES!

https://writeouswriter.tumblr.com/post/188641952457

1. Remember: nothing’s ever done, it’s just due

https://juliatilford.tumblr.com/post/179930355245/when-youre-writing-your-first-draft-and-you-know

What are your tricks for combating writer’s block?

Seriously tell me in the comments, I need to know IMMEDIATELY.

Or don’t. I’m sure I’ll figure it out on my own eventually.

… help…

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Writing Is Very Hard: Stop Making These Common Grammatical Mistakes

Writing is very difficult.

I should know, and my editor knows I know [editor’s note: heeeeeyyyy]. Fortunately, I can count on him to gently correct my mistakes or shoot me a message saying, “Can you not use these words in those ways anymore? Thanks.”

Photo Credit: Pixabay

Recently, another editor with the patience of Job started a Twitter thread about some common grammatical mistakes.

Laura Helmuth is the health and science editor at The Washington Post, so she’s clearly seen some funky English in her time. Her list was not only fantastic, but many of her followers, grammar nerds in their own right, chimed in with other ways they see people butchering the English language.

Helmuth listed some good ones:

  • “Enormity” means something really bad, not something really big.
  • “Japanese/Brazilian/Finnish/Australian researchers discovered…” Science is the most international endeavor in human history. Any team that makes a discovery worth covering almost certainly includes people who aren’t citizens, so instead say: “Researchers in Japan/Brazil/etc.”
  • “Men and women” in almost all circumstances should be “people.” The world is over-gendered enough as it is.
  • “Famous” is a word you almost never need. If a person or event is known to your reader, you don’t need to tell them it’s famous. If your reader DOESN’T know something, calling it famous risks making your reader feel ignorant or unwelcome in your story. (One exception, as a follower pointed out, is to say someone was “famous in her time” if it’s someone who is relatively unknown now but was a big deal back in the day.)
  • It’s spelled “impostor” rather than “imposter,” which I learned only after being quoted in a story about impostor syndrome.
  • It’s fine to use “spawn” metaphorically in some cases, but keep in mind that it literally means fish or frogs ejaculating eggs or sperm. Think twice about “seminal,” too.
  • Avoid “so and so believes” because you don’t know what they believe, only what they say.

She finished up with:

Other editors and writers added their own grammar pet peeves.

  • Putting “The fact that” before something is never necessary.
  • Just deserts. Yes, it sounds like desserts, but it’s spelled deserts as in deserves.
  • Toward never needs an ‘s.’
  • “In order to.” Just “to” does the same job.
  • The use of “I” when the object pronoun “me” should be used. E.g. “He took Jean and I to the store.” The trick to knowing what’s right? Take out the other person in the sentence. “He took I to the store” just doesn’t sound right.
  • Trying to eliminate “actually” from my vocabulary, mostly speaking vocabulary. Adds nothing.
  • “And the reason why is…” is redundant. Just say, “and the reason is…”
  • Unique means one of a kind, it is absolute and there are no degrees of uniqueness. Very unique, more unique, most unique etc., are all meaningless.
  • I find the word “different” is often unnecessary—12 different people…

Many more goodies were mentioned – check out the thread for the rest. You will either feel smug or ignorant after reading it, but I bet either way you’ll learn something new.

The post Writing Is Very Hard: Stop Making These Common Grammatical Mistakes appeared first on UberFacts.

Enjoy These Funny Editorial Mistakes From the Last Decade

Well, these are…unfortunate.

Hey, writers make mistakes. But if they have any values, they admit their errors, apologize, correct them, and move on. Here are some of the funniest and most interesting editorial mistakes and fails from the 2010s…

Let’s see what went down.

1. That is lengthy.

2. Oops…

3. That’s a big difference.

4. Wouldn’t want that to happen.

5. Thank you for that!

6. How’d that one get by the editor?

7. Don’t say that to Kansas Citians.

8. WOW.

9. Hahahahaha. Sad!

10. Well, isn’t that interesting…

11. Good move on his part.

12. Not “eaten to death.”

13. A pretty big difference.

14. Briney Spear.

15. How many of you have made this mistake?

Big fails!

But, like I said: admit it, fix it, apologize, move on.

Unlike some folks in government and media, these people all admitted their mistakes. Imagine that!?!?

The post Enjoy These Funny Editorial Mistakes From the Last Decade appeared first on UberFacts.

15 Jokes That Writers Might Find Funny

Writing for a living is a tough gig. Always wracking your brain to come up with something interesting or witty to say. Hitting that inevitable bout of writer’s block at one point or another.

But it’s also a lot of fun, and anyone who gets to write for a living would probably say the same thing.

If you’re a writer, these jokes will most likely make you shake your head and say, “Yup, that’s accurate.”

Enjoy!

1. You’ll all be very disappointed.

2. You can never, ever, have enough.

3. One of the worst feelings of all time.

4. I’m back, baby! Back with a bang!

View this post on Instagram

Yep, that’s me ?

A post shared by A Girl Named Karma (@agirlnamedkarma) on

5. That’s exactly what he was talking about.

6. Woo! Time for a nap and a snack.

7. Never listen to this advice.

Photo Credit: Tumblr

8. Make them suffer immeasurably.

Photo Credit: Tumblr

9. Among other things…

Photo Credit: Tumblr

10. Check your email every two-and-a-half minutes.

Photo Credit: Tumblr

11. Maybe it’s time to focus on one thing.

Photo Credit: Tumblr

12. Pretty much sums it up.

Photo Credit: Tumblr

13. “The man devoured the baked bread like it would be his last meal.” How’s that?

Photo Credit: Tumblr

14. Moments of inspiration.

Photo Credit: Tumblr

15. Let’s jump ahead a few years.

Photo Credit: Tumblr

Time to keep working, writers! You know we never get a day off…

Do you have any funny jokes about writing? If so, share them in the comments. Thanks!

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“Men Writing Women” Twitter Shares What Male Writers Actually Know About Women: Not Much

It’s a joke in the writing community that male writers manage to create the most cringe-worthy, impossible female (and sexual) moments – and now, there’s a Twitter account dedicated to giving shoutouts to the best (worst) of the bunch.

Buckle up, because these are amazingly too much.

15. I mean why not just get a dog?

14. Still trying to figure this one out.

13. I mean, who doesn’t?

12. At least he mentioned her face first?

11. Snoozer.

10. Her wheat-colored nest.

9. The breasts.

8. Nipple-weary.

7. I obviously need to get to know my boobs better.

6. Can you say “rape-y?”

5. Never you worry, ladies.

4. Skim alert.

3. A decent little pooper.

2. Is that supposed to be a good thing?

1. IDK I’d be reaching for the pepper spray.

I’m off to walk “boobily” to the kitchen for a cookie that will somehow never find its way to my waist!

The post “Men Writing Women” Twitter Shares What Male Writers Actually Know About Women: Not Much appeared first on UberFacts.

This Is Why Men Should Be Banned from Writing Female Characters

“Write what you know.” That’s how the saying goes, remember?

Well, maybe men should consider that advice a little harder before they take a crack at writing female characters. Because a lot of them are waaaaaaaaaay off, and, frankly, they sound pretty dumb.

Ladies, on behalf of all males, I apologize for what you’re about to see.

1. Interesting!

2. WTF?

3. I hate that!

4. Here’s why…

5. Oh my god…

Macaroni and cheese vagina from menwritingwomen

6. Weird

7. Not Phillip K. Dick!

Thinking with his Phillip K Dick from menwritingwomen

8. Mmmmm

9. An awful bit

10. Wait, what?

11. Borrow them

12. Get a load of that passage

13. Dear Mr. King…

14. Creamy

Soft and creamy boobs from menwritingwomen

15. Perfect!

Cringeworthy, isn’t it?

The post This Is Why Men Should Be Banned from Writing Female Characters appeared first on UberFacts.

A Bot Wrote a Hilarious ‘John Wick’ Script and People Are Loving It

What if a computer wrote a screenplay? Have you ever asked yourself that question?

More specifically though… have you ever asked: what if a bot wrote John Wick?

You haven’t asked yourself EITHER of those questions? Well, you’re in luck because somebody on the internet did and then made it happen.

Keaton Patti is the genius behind many “bot-written” scripts that he’s posted on Twitter, and to say he’s killing it at the bot-written script game is an understatement.

That title! I’m official in love with this bot.

Photo Credit: Twitter/KeatonPatti

“You are out of horse, Mr. Dog!” Classic Wick.

Photo Credit: Twitter/KeatonPatti

So… what do you think? Are we at the point where bots should replace humans?

The answer is a resounding yes! At least from Keaton.

He even has visuals!

What more could you ask for Keanu? Get on that shit!

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