Food is an integral part of our lives, serving both to sustain our bodies and to delight our senses.
Not all food is created equal, though.
Sometimes our senses are tormented rather than delighted.
Redditor phillygirllovesbagel asked:
“What’s the worst food you’ve ever tried?”
Knock-off Chain Restaurants Are Bad News
“I was visiting Fort Huachuca, AZ for work (not in the military).”
“They have a knock-off Panda Express there. Identical menu with different names. Like those bootleg KFCs in China that are identical to KFC but it’s ‘Kevin’s Funky Chicken’ or something.”
“Anyhow, I’m hungry, bootleg Panda seems like a good deal. I order up the usual. Chinese food, like pizza, gets pretty wide latitude. Even if it’s lousy, it’s not that bad.”
“This was straight-up inedible. I don’t even have the words to describe it. Just gristle and batter all fried together.”
“Ended up just tossing the whole thing out and going to Burger King.” -Deadlifts_n_Riffs
Home Cooking Can Be Dangerous Too
“my own chicken, honey, lemon concoction which was less ‘Italian summer’ and more like fisherman’s friend lozenge.” -Candy_Lawn
“Reminds me of the time I tried to make up my own orange-juice-based reduction/sauce thing for chicken and pasta. I don’t know what made me think I had any idea how to make that work. It did not work.” -super_aardvark
The Chili That Wasn’t
“There was a week where my mom was out so my dad had to cook for my brother and I. His first day he made chili. By chili I mean that he browned some beef, threw it in a pot with water and added one single packet of chili seasoning to the water and served it to us.”
“We had frozen pizza the rest of the week.” DrGingeyy
“I’m impressed he browned the beef first, that’s a common overlooked thing with first-time cooks.” –satooshi-nakamooshi
“Ah, watery ground beef soup–a college dorm classic.”
“That it was followed with frozen pizza only makes me more certain this exact sequence has played out on thousands of college campuses across the globe.” -drewhead118
“We have a chili cook-off at work every year before Christmas. There is usually 10 or so entries and 6 are really good, two are okay and two are absolute war crimes. Beef, water, chili packet, chopped and uncooked onions and green peppers and a can of beans.”
“It’s like badly flavored chili soup. I don’t know who makes them, but I feel horrible for their family.” -SafewordisJohnCandy
It Is Technically A Loaf Of Meat
“My ex MIL’s meatloaf. She literally just pressed ground beef into a square baking pan and threw it in the oven. Zero spices. Zero anything but hot ground beef.”
“She also made ‘baked spaghetti’ which was cooked spaghetti noodles with plain tomato sauce in a pan and baked.”
“Her cooking made me realize why I had to twist my ex’s arm to try REAL meatloaf and baked ziti the way it’s supposed to be made.” -SugarHooves
World’s Worst Burger?
“In the Dominican Republic, there is a mountain in Puerto Plata called Isabel de Torres. On that mountain there is a restaurant. That restaurant sells the worst goddamn burgers you will ever eat in your life.” -JoshPoshTheGreat
“Ok this is so f*cking oddly specific, I need more details.” -ThirdFloorNorth
“I actually came to say this. Amazingly, I’ve had these burgers twice. The second time we didn’t plan well and assumed the first time was a fluke. Fool me once…” -Semi-Pro_Biotic
“It’s incredible that 2 people both find the same obscure restaurant’s burgers so memorably bad but you guys GOTTA elaborate on the actual burger.” -JeromesDream
“Funny enough, I’m in Puerto Plata right now. I was going to take the cable car to the top of the mountain so I could take pics, give the play by play. However, the attraction doesn’t reopen until I leave. I wanted to go full metal Reddit, but whatever.”
“From memory, the beef in the Caribbean comes from a different species in the Bos genus than what is common in the US. The flavor is different, closer to farmed venison.”
“Side effect or intentional, it’s about 95-99% lean. Take that meat, ground coarse, make a very thin patty, cook it so that it doesn’t stick to the griddle, basically steams in it’s own moisture.”
“Throw that on a Latin roll, leafy lettuce, cheap tomato, gas station condiments. The sliced onion is the shining star.”
“Onions here are very good, sweet but tasty. The ultimate injustice then is when you bite, the texture is pasty and rubbery at the same time. Hope that helps.” -Semi-Pro_Biotic
“Jellied Salad” Says All You Need To Know
“Jellied salad.”
“Lots of my family still thinks aspics are a necessity for family dinners so there’ll usually be a variety of jellied salads. Tomato salad, shredded cabbage salad, usually some kind of weird olive and hard boiled egg combo for some reason.”
“All sitting on their plates, perfectly rectangular, wiggling away…” -LycheeEyeballs
“My mother constantly posts pictures on facebook for sole reason of grossing people out. The spagettio’s one that looked like a bunt cake got me.” -WinksAtLemons
“I didn’t know that people actually ate that stuff. I really thought they were a joke until this year.” -crackhappy
“My family has an orange one with veggies (canned corn or similar) and marshmallows.” -TheRealKestrel
Don’t Eat Rancid Meat
“On New Year’s day a few years ago, my dad bought ribs to make for dinner. Upon taking my first bite, I spit it out immediately.”
“I don’t think I’ve ever spit food out like that other than this one time. It turned out they were totally rancid, and to this day I still can’t eat ribs. Thankfully, none of us actually got sick.” -that-nerd
“I smoke ribs often. I’ve been going to my butcher for 10 years and never had an issue.”
“Over the 4th of July, I bought 3 racks of baby backs to smoke for the family up at the cabin. I thawed them out in the fridge.”
“Opened up the vacuum pack and it was the absolute worst smell in the history of smells. Pure f’king sulfur smell.
“Almost 5 months later, I can still smell it in my nose. I don’t know what the hell happened or even if they were edible but at that point, there was no cooking them. In the trash they went.”
“I had to air my cabin out for a solid 7-8 hours.” -DC4MVP
At Least She Tried
“My mom made this thing when i was younger called cheeseburger pie. no clue what box she got it from but my god did 9-year-old me not enjoy it.”
“I just thought it was a deconstructed cheeseburger, but no, there were like five other things in there and nothing made sense together.”
“She also made meatloaf a few weeks later and it was drier than the damn Sahara desert. never again.” -spacepharmacy
“My mom is a very good cook, but once she decided to make a recipe from the back of the Bisquick box, it was called impossible cheeseburger pie. The idea was that the bicuit mix was supposed to rise to the top and create something like a shepherd’s pie but with a dumpling topping instead of mashed potatoes.”
“After we all tried to choke some down, mom apologized, threw it in the trash, and we had waffles or something for dinner. Impossible cheeseburger pie became a running joke in our family. I wonder if that’s what you had.” -strum_and_dang
The Worst Flan
“I was in France and stopped by a place in Paris. I had been traveling for several months and missed Mexican food.”
“When the owner found out I was Mexican she insisted I try the flan she just made as a first attempt. The food was pretty alright, not like home but it hit the spot. She brought out the flan and stood there expectantly waiting for my response.”
“It was absolutely the worst flan I had ever had in my life. Like it just tasted bad. Like eggs that were off.”
“I couldn’t hide my reaction and she became visibly upset. I ate a little more to be polite but just couldn’t anymore.”
“I told her I’m just very picky and suggested a few things as I had worked in a bakery that had made some in the past (aside from family recipes). I gave her my contact info and a few weeks later got an email thanking me.”
“A group of Mexican musicians came through and told her while it wasn’t traditional it was very tasty and had a good texture and that any time I was back to please stop by for a meal on the house.”
“Unfortunately the next time I was back the place had closed down.” -Malignantrumor99
Let It Ripen First
“Unripe persimmon. It tastes ok but the tannins in the fruit, if not properly soft and ripe, make your mouth immediately feel fuzzy, like your tongue is shot with novocaine.”
“A completely unexpected mouth feel where your immediate reaction is ‘Get this out of my mouth NOW!’ Now i know!” -1_art_please
One can only hope to never experience any of the dreadful foods in this list.
Food’s primary purpose may be to sustain our bodies, but there’s no reason eating it should have to be a chore.
