These Teachers All Had to Deal with Awful Parents

Teachers have very challenging jobs. Dozens of students, ever-changing curricula, low pay, and long days. But throw in crazy parents and their ridiculous requests, and all of a sudden keeping you cool may be harder than brain surgery!

Check out these 23 Reddit teachers who share some of the craziest reasons parents have contacted them.

1. He’s not gay

I’m an assistant school counsellor. We had a furious parent call us several times and accuse us of turning her son gay. The calls stopped after he got a classmate pregnant.

2. No doubt here

I’ve had a parent complain to me about her child. Her daughter was doing really well, 90+ grades and consistent effort in classwork and homework.

Me: [Student] puts a lot of thought and effort into her work.

Mom: She sucks up to you?

Me: No, she wants to do well and be successful. That being said, we’d like to improve her grammar a bit.

Mom: I knew it, she’s stupid. Doesn’t do anything. She will fail.

Me: Uh, no . . . just needs a little more rigor in this department.

Mom: She’s such a disappointment.

And every once in a while I’ll just get a complaint from her…. her complaining TO me about her child. Her kid’s a joy and I’ve been so much nicer to her since I met this lady.

This student is being helped by our fabulous guidance department. I take care to affirm her effort whenever possible, and assure her that she’s doing great. It may not offset the negativity her mother imposes on her, but the other teachers and I will make sure she doesn’t doubt her ability to do well.

3. Sympathizer

I had a parent complain because I played a CD of classical Persian flute music one day in class. The class was World Languages and Cultures and I played a different CD from around the world every day as they came into class. They thought I was sympathizing with terrorists and should “only teach American stuff”.

4. “Cut him some slack”

I gave the kid a D on a homework. Parent contacted me to complain that I was picking on him.

Even though the parent agreed that most of the answers that he gave were wrong but I should have “cut him some slack.”

5. That really is so stupid

I used to teach phonics (basic reading skills) to kindergarten-aged kids. One parent came in after class, irate, and demanded to know why I had taught the er/ir/ur diphthong before the oi/oy diphthong. He didn’t want his kid to be able to read the word “girl” before being able to read “boy”. Kept going on about how “boy” was just more important and common, as a word, and teaching kids less frequent words before more frequent ones would slow down reading progress and was bad pedagogically, and so on.

In hindsight, I’m impressed that he managed to squeeze so many justifications into something so pointlessly stupid.

6. The Star

One mother threatened to yank her daughter out of the school if this student were not given the starring role in the Christmas concert to sing “O Holy Night”. (An incident previously noted.)

The girl had made it perfectly clear to me, the faculty and classmates that she realized she wasn’t musically qualified for the part, neither did she want to do it.

It was entirely her Mom – determined that her daughter should be “the star” of the school, no matter what.

7. School Bullies

There was a mom who was mad that we wouldn’t let her son be in the class that he wanted to be in. Her son was in grade two, but for the first two or so months of the school year he would go to the kindergarten classroom everyday. We’re not a big school, so there’s only one grade two class.

Developmentally there was no reason he should still be in the kindergarten class, he just kept going there because he liked the toys better and when he was in there he would make fun of the younger students because he was older and smarter than the rest of them and would hit them if they were ‘stupid’.

When we told the mom what was going on and that we needed her to support this transition she thought we were doing this just because we didn’t want her son to be happy at school. We finally got him to go to the correct class (my class), but the troubled behavior (hitting, swearing, making messes, being purposefully distracting, disrespectful and generally inappropriate) still continues, and the mom’s ideas that we’re picking on him and are being mean to him still continue.

These Comments from Grandparents Should Keep You Laughing

Grandparents are the best! They tell stories from the “good old days” and give awesome fashion advice. Take a gander at these Reddit users and the hilarious things they learned or heard from their older loved ones.

1. I don’t get it

My dad calls dubstep “The Devil’s Dialup Tone” or just “The Garbage Disposal.” He’s had a couple more, but he uses those a lot.

Also, whenever he has to go to the bathroom, he says, “I have to poop like a park ranger.” I still don’t get it.

2. Just go!

I take my grandma out to run her errands and get her out of the house for a while. One day we were in a rush to get somewhere, we came to an intersection and the light turned red right before we got there. She looks at me and says “run it, just go.” Being the good grandson I am, I do so. As we pass, she waves to the oncoming cars and says “toodle-loo!”

3. Lol, tree donkeys

My grandfather used to hide behind the BBQ on his patio and shoot squirrels with a super-soaker when they would try to loot the bird feeder. He would yell “Not today tree donkeys” then come back in the kitchen chuckling to himself. I miss that goofy man.

4. Straight up

Maybe not the funniest thing he’s said, but my 93 year old grandfather when he had his picture taken: “I wish I had a camera. I’d take a picture of myself every day because I’m so damn handsome.”

5. Miscommunication

My grandparents told me this story one time. It was their “coming of age” when they realized they’re two old people now.

Grandpa is trying to get past my grandmother who is loading pre made pies into the freezer. Grandpa says, “Can I get by?”

Grandma grabs her pies and says, “What kind?”

Grandpa checks his watch and says, “Quarter after three”.

Both said they didn’t even realize it until ten minutes later, when my grandpa called my grandma old.

6. Tattoo=Jerk

I’m an EMT, we were taking a 90-something year old man to the ER, and as I was putting the cuff on his arm to get a blood pressure, he sees my tattoo on the inside of my forearm and asks “is that a tattoo?” I say “yes it is, sir” he looks me in the eye and says “well then, that makes you a jerk!” and didn’t say another word to me. I wasn’t even mad, it was too funny.

7. I like big butts and I cannot lie

My grandfather explaining the story of how he met my grandma: “I saw her walking down the street with her friends and picked out the greatest butt.” Short and sweet.

People Share Their Awkward Meet-the-Parents Moments

Meeting your significant other’s parents is always a bit awkward. You want to make a good impression, but not come off to eager. Most of the time (hopefully), things go smoothly and mom and dad give you the nod of approval.

Sometimes, though, things take a turn for the worse, as these AskReddit users shared with the world.

1. Oh hello!

My mom and current wife met for the first time at 2am in my parents’ living room both wearing no bottoms…

2. Racist?

My whole family met my current boyfriend over Easter dinner. My father doesn’t typically say a word to new people my siblings and I bring home. Randomly during dinner my dad turned to my boyfriend and said, “you a racist?”

3. AWKWARD

Ugh, I was the girlfriend in question. I had come over to my long distance relationship boyfriend’s apartment on the way out of town. I had dressed in a plaid skirt, fishnets, combat boots, and a low cut black tank because I wanted to leave him with a good memory. So he’s got me pinned face first against the wall with my skirt flipped up and when his dad walks in. Apparently he’d come by early to take him to lunch and drop him at his job. I was absolutely mortified during the entire lunch with his dad, dad’s girlfriend, and my boyfriend.

4. Dinner time!

When I brought my first girlfriend home I was too embarrassed to say anything to my parents, so we went directly to my room and started fooling around. Here’s what transpired: My mom opens the door to my bedroom and stopped mid sentence “Hey I was thinking we could have turkey for -” I awkwardly remove my hand from the front of my girlfriends unbuttoned jeans “Oh uhm sorry I didn’t realize you had company” “Yeah this is Caitlin” “Hi Caitlin. Did you want to join us for supper?” “suuuuuuuuuurrree” Then we all had a super awkward dinner together. Fun times.

5. Good first impression

He recounted the story of when he drove home so drunk he lost a tire hitting something, then drove on the rim for at least 4 miles down the interstate. Thankfully he’s sober now, but is that something you want to talk about the first time you meet me?

6. Gloves are off

I never thought I would strike a teenager until I saw a boy smack my daughter’s butt in front of me with impunity.

7. This guy seems legit

I was over at my boyfriend’s family’s house for Easter where we all got together for an Easter egg hunt, dinner, and party games. My boyfriend’s middle sister had recently started seeing a guy she met on eHarmony, who apparently lived in Toronto. She spent the afternoon telling us about him, that he owned a delivery business and a flower shop. My boyfriend’s brother joked that he was a drug dealer for his ‘delivery business’, and we laughed as she tried to defend him.

So he finally drives up in a very expensive car, wearing a t-shirt with arrows pointing to the shoulders and the caption “Place legs here” written across the chest. Everyone started interrogating him, but he was avoidant of everything. I worked in a flower shop for seven years, and he couldn’t name any flowers. Granted his English wasn’t perfect and he was very awkward, but the drug dealer possibility became more likely as time went on.

Afterwards he went full-blown creepy stalker. She broke up with him, since he couldn’t explain anything, and he sent her 40+ text messages trying to get her back. Wrote ‘poems’ about how much it hurt to miss her and said he’d drop by her work. She blocked his number, reported him on eHarmony, and everyone in the family has sworn a pact to immediately call police if we see him anywhere. It was like standing next to a train wreck as it happened.

8. Scum

My boyfriend in high school was a senior at a different school, I was a sophomore. At their school homecoming game it was a tradition for all seniors to dress up in camouflage. So my mom first met him when he was dressed head-to-toe in black and white camouflage and wasn’t aware of the tradition. As he was walking toward us she said, “oh god, no.” And didn’t realize I’d heard her. To be fair, he was pure scum.

9. Drinkopoly!

The first weekend I went to stay with my boyfriend’s parents (I had never met them before) my boyfriend and I played Drinkopoly with some of his friends (like Monopoly, but you drink instead of using money). All was grand, I went to bed a little earlier than everyone else, and bf’s friends left saying “she drinks pretty well for a girl!” He comes up to bed, I proceed to throw up everywhere. On him, on his sheets, on myself.

He then put me in the shower and I apparently screamed random numbers at him and got angry when he didn’t understand. His parents were ridiculously cool about the whole thing; the next day as my boyfriend slept off the trauma I washed puke off his sheets then went with his mum to play with the cats they were soon to adopt. Oh, and then the next day his younger sister walked in on us having sex. Still don’t understand how his family likes me…

10. The Panda Misfits

When I brought my first serious boyfriend home to meet my mom he was wearing a Misfits sweatshirt. My mom, bless her, ignored his dyed mohawk, gaged ears and pierced nose and said that she liked his panda sweatshirt. I laughed so hard I cried. Got to give him credit though, he stuck around for 4 years.

11. Whoa

When my mother was 14, she wanted to date this boy who was 17. But my grandparents wouldn’t let her, because they “just don’t trust him”. My mom argues with her parents, but they stand firm on their decision. Flash forward about 8 years, my mom is happily married. Her parents show her the newspaper, and that boy (grown up now) made the paper: drug-deal gone wrong, armed robbery, double homicide and suicide.

12. Sleazy Teens

My most awkward meeting (I had met her mom briefly once before) of a girlfriend’s parent(s) was 9 years ago when I was 18. I was sitting on her mom’s couch chatting with my girlfriend while we texted each other dirty things. We would pretend to talk about being seniors, looking forward to graduating, etc, but we were really discussing the dirty and raunchy kind of teenage sex that abstinence only education warned you about.

As we texted more I started to get a little excited, nothing I couldn’t control but it felt dangerous and naughty which got the adrenaline flowing. Her mom was in the kitchen the entire time cooking up a meal leaving us to our secret naughty conversation. I told my then girlfriend to put her phone between her legs while it was on vibrate, she did and I called her repeatedly. Watching her get hornier got me hornier, the blood must flow!

Let’s pause for a second and examine this situation, I’m sitting on the couch hard as a rock, she’s sitting next to me with a phone between her legs while I call it repeatedly. What 18 year old guy wouldn’t be aroused? I misjudged one thing, how quickly her mom could prepare an entire meal. Panic time. Her mom walked in the living room to tell us dinner was done, but it had to cool down a bit. She wanted to take this time to get to know me. I had met her once before but only briefly, I’d only said hi to her at this point. She had perched on the arm of the love seat which was at a 90 degree angle to the couch we were sitting on, she sat there like a judging vulture disguised as Bettie Homemaker. Her voice and smile were gentle, but her eyes were fiery and alive like she plucked them from Hannibal Lecter’s head. “Are you excited to graduate?”

“Yes ma’am.”

When I’m nervous I get really polite. “Are you two hungry? I made enough to feed everyone and send john home with plenty of leftovers.”

“Thank you ma’am.” My boner was about to burst through my pants.

“Call me Kathy, or mom if you want to.”

“OK Kathy, I’ll remember that.” “Where are my manners? I almost forgot to mention that we hug in this family.”

Oh, please no. Not now at this exact moment.

“Stand up and give me a hug, mister.” No no no no no! There was no way I have escaped this situation without killing two people and hiding the bodies. I did it. I stood up and hugged this woman.

As soon as it happened I could feel my member press into her, she knew, I knew she knew because she backed away from it, as soon as she did I had an involuntary twitch the for a split second pushed it back into her thigh. We parted from our hug, we both tried to be polite, but the shame had set in. Dinner was awkward, I wolfed down my food without making eye contact with Kathy. I made an excuse to leave after dinner, went home, rubbed one out, and wallowed in shame and embarrassment.

Former Gang Members Recount How They Finally Got Out

For some people, joining a gang can be a matter of protection, or brotherhood, or lack of economic opportunity. I’d be willing to bet that more gangs than we think are filled mostly with people who are only there because there isn’t anywhere better for them. And once you’re in, it’s not always even an option to leave. These 13 AskReddit users were lucky: they got out. Here’s how.

1. “He wanted…to thank me for sparing his life”

I saved up enough money to put myself through school and to not have to work. All I wanted was enough money to get out. 5 years later I got my masters degree and now I work as an economist in the social services sector.

Haunt me…yeah. When I went to university I changed my Facebook name back to my real name. This guy who started a fight with me back in the day that I got word on and got the drop on got in touch with me asking if I ‘remembered him’. Seeing as how I maimed the guy instead of beating him (at the time I caught serious heat for this because it was construed as weakness) I thought he was getting ready to settle the score. I got in touch with my boys back home and they paid him a visit. Turns out he wanted to reach out to me to thank me for sparing his life and that he had turned his around. So my boys thought that was pretty funny and I had to paypal them all steak dinners and booze money.

2. Red Bandana

I got older and it all seemed stupid. Felt stupid representing a group of 7th grade dropouts. I wanted to represent myself. The ones that arent dead or in prison still live with their parents and all they have going for them in life is that red bandana.

3. So Dumb

Three things. A) Got too old for that stuff B) Joined the Army and C) realized – thankfully not too late – almost shooting someone dead for “talking crap to my boy” wasn’t in my best interest in the long term. I think back to that point and thank God I did not do something so dumb. Cringy.

4. “Most of my friends and enemies are either in jail, or working”

I was involved in one of the Vancouver gangs. I left around 2006 a few months after I got attacked on a rural road by 2 car loads of guys who had meant to shut down our delivery phone. They got one of our customers to call us on a Sunday morning, when they knew most of the people I’d call for backup would be sleeping.

If it wasn’t for some fancy driving on my part, I would have taken a beating from 8 guys with bats and batons. I’m glad I got out when I did, because even though people were killing each other prior to me leaving. They got really comfortable with it in the years after I left.

Past doesn’t really come back to haunt me, I moved away to grow weed in a different area and there wasn’t any “in it for life” mentality. In 2011 I moved back to the area. Most of my friends and enemies are either in jail, or working square jobs for the most part. I work in the hydroponic supplies industry, so I still work with a lot of gangsters from the marijuana industry, but they’re mostly chill dudes who want to work out all the time and play with expensive motorsports toys.

5. “I left it all that night”

I used to be a tag banger as a teenager. Think graffiti crew on the verge of being recognized as a street gang, due to it’s acts of violence and size. It was about 25 of us in a four block radius with a heavy presence in a half mile stretch of a main avenue. The night of August 22, 2003, I was in my room reading Luis Rodriguez’s ‘Always Running’. I heard gunshots a few blocks from my place. Thinking nothing of it I kept reading.

The next morning I found out it was an 18 year old named O, a close friend of mine. He was a member of a gang called 18th Street. He was caught leaving his pregnant girlfriend’s house by four enemy gang members, he was chased down and shot. I, along with three other ‘shotcallers’ from my crew, attended his funeral and burial. After the burial we were approached by an eighteener rep, he told us to show up to a party that night in O’s honor.

That night at the party we were taken to the back of the house were there was a meeting happening. My friend’s older brothers were big time in the gang, one of them calling shots from prison. And the latter wanted blood. The way they saw it O was killed in our neighborhood and as his friends we had to get back at his murderers. We were given an ultimatum, align with 18th street, drop our graffiti crew, and take care of any enemy members in our territory. In return they would provide guns, drugs, and the right to start our own chapter of the gang. If we refused we should either disband or consider ourselves in their crosshairs.

As silly as it all sounds, you’d be surprised how structured and diplomatic street gangs really are. So we gathered up all the guys and talked about it. We were pretty much split. I mentioned the book ‘Always Running’ because it showed me to consider the fact that the world is bigger than a couple city blocks. And O’s death made me question if dying for a few numbers and letters was worth it. I also had a girlfriend who I wanted to marry, not then at 18 but later down the line.

I left it all that night. More than half the guys took up 18 streets offer. Me and the rest were shunned. The following two months saw a surge of violence which capped off with two dumped bodies in the middle of a field. The police cracked down hard soon after.

I moved out of the neighborhood. Years later I married my girlfriend, we had a son, I worked hard while she finished her university studies. My dad still lives in that neighborhood, it is now an 18th Street bastion. I run into some of the guys when I visit dad. Most are in prison, dead, or strung out on drugs. The younger kids are the ones running the streets now. It’s a never ending cycle.

6. The Pattern

Personally, I ended up getting out cause I realized the pattern I was falling into. Before I even turned 18, I had 6 charges on my record, 2 of them felonies and I was on 3rd strike, which basically means if I commit another violent crime I can be locked away for life automatically and any non-violent crime, no matter how small it is, can be an automatic 7 years if they choose. As of right now, since my charges were all between the ages of 13-16, I’ve been told if I don’t get in trouble for the next 10 years after my last charge (2013), I can get my records expunged so that’s what I’m aiming for at the moment but it’s crazy knowing any little thing can send me back for such a long time because of how stupid I was as a teen. A lot of my friends never got the chance to get out, one of my friends is doing 12 years, he’s been in there since he was 17, and another one is doing life so I’m just glad I got out before that happened but I still have to be careful.

7. Teenage Felon

Fortunately (or unfortunately), I got arrested when I was 16 and charged with felony counts. It was reduced and I got my record expunged. After that, and figuring out that the people or “friends” I hung out with pretty much abandoned me right after the arrest, I got serious with my studies/school and stayed away from fights, getting trouble, etc. I think it has also made me more mindful and mature growing up, since I wasn’t too into parties anymore and hanging out — although it’s definitely made me more conflicted with interpersonal relationships and trust even today. I still don’t completely trust the legal system and cops; especially remembering when I was handcuffed and chained with others (my group) and walked out of the precinct and into the police car to be ushered to jail.

At any rate, the only real time it has come to haunt me was being forced to put it into my law school applications. Even if a record is expunged, apparently I still needed to write it in and write an explanation. Hasn’t affected my admissions cycle, but I was pretty shocked but of course not surprised since records don’t just disappear even after being expunged.

8. Brazilian Hooligans

Brazilian here. I was a teenager in the mid-2000’s. Used to hang with a lot of other kids who were also low-middle class and had a lot of time and liberty to be on the streets causing havoc. A lot of them were hooligans (in Brazil hooligans are really common in major cities with big football teams, but it’s somewhat different from those in Europe. People hang in the “torcidas organizadas”, wear uniforms, sometimes carry guns and fight over petty things with people from other “torcidas”. The main goal is to beat and steal the other crews material’s, like shirts, hats, flags and this kind of stuff. Its not uncommon to see people die over this ridiculous nonsense). Anyway, it was a large gang, but no one did heavy stuff, like killing people (even though sometimes someone was packing a revolver or a pistol), at least I never heard of something like that. We used to beat the crap out of other people from other hoods, though. Some of us were REALLY violent. A lot of my friends trained martial arts just for the sake of kicking people’s butts on the street.

I stopped hanging around because some of my friends got arrested for attempted murder, and they just didn’t care even after jail. Some of them also sold weed and I began to wake up to the fact that things were getting more serious. I had a lot of doubts before, after seeing people get wrecked over nothing. Like, random street fights were common. I chose to focus on school, and years later I’m a lawyer with no criminal background, thankfully. My friends from that time are doing okay, I guess. They are alive, and I think that’s a good thing, considering what they used to do and how many enemies they made.

9. “I was making the world a worse place”

When I was 14 I became involved in a criminal organisation. It wasn’t street crime, it was organised crime (they looked down on street crime but for things they were also guilty of).

When I was 16 one of my best friends was killed. That was the first thing that made me think that this wasn’t something I could do forever. After that, the whole thing kind of just broke down. The walls closed in and a few people had to leave the country and some of us that stayed tied up the loose ends and rolled up our thing into the major thing and called it a day.

Psychologically it was that I was making the world a worse place. That was the thing that for me made me want to stop. I didn’t want to contribute to the suffering in the world and in people’s lives and I was. I made my family miserable, my old friends were scared of me, my new “friends” didn’t like me because I was always lashing out, and there were people I’d wronged for no reason.

My past has never come back to haunt me. There are times when somebody will say something but even when I run into people I had disagreements with but we just go our separate ways.

10. “When you are in a gang you are paranoid”

I was in one of the largest and most feared Mexican gangs in Los Angeles. But the crazy thing was that no one outside of my close friends and cousins knew. To the outside world I was a baby faced kid with a comb over that was enrolled in Honors classes his entire life. What made me leave was the fact that I lived by own code (I did not jump people, I didn’t tag and I didn’t steal) and a lot of other members did not like that. My cousins and uncles were shot callers so I was somewhat safe. But I quickly found myself looking over my shoulder. When, you are in a gang you are paranoid. I was originally recruited for my brain and muscle. These however ultimately pulled me away from the gang life. I ended up getting accepted to colleges and took up boxing and MMA. The final push was when I became a Christian my Senior year of high school.

I am currently double majoring in theological studies and computer science. As for my past coming back to haunt me, I did see a ghost the other day. I was on my way to work at 4am and I heard a skateboard rolling behind me. And I noticed its speed was irregular (you learn this after years of paranoia) I clenched my fist ready for some fool to try to mug me. But then I heard someone say my name It was my best friend from high school. His family was from MS-13 a notorious Salvadorian gang. I say I saw a ghost because he was a shell of what he used to be. He ended up getting high on his own supply, being kicked out of his house and beaten out of the gang for stealing (his dad was a shot caller he would have been killed if not for that). That’s my story and the story of so many poor first generation Latino Americans from the hood.

11. Fleeing the Country

I used to be a “big brother” in a certain chivalrous organization. There were a combination of factors for my departure, chief among them was that I had a serious problem with the newer generations and how they perceived power, and quite frankly, I grew tired. Of those that joined our ranks who were from the newer generations, they did not understand basic concepts of honor, respect, or dignity, which added pressure to an increasingly volatile territorial issue that we were facing – they didn’t seem to understand that violence was only meant to be a tool, not just the way we handled every interaction with everybody that we encountered. We filled a niche that law enforcement weren’t traditionally able to accommodate but there was obviously a darker side to our work, and some people were neither mentally nor psychologically capable of handling the dual nature of our existence in society.

There was, what I’d consider, a huge war that erupted a few decades ago when one of the bosses of a large chivalrous organization had passed away naturally of a heart-attack. This left a power vacuum that wasn’t meant to stay empty because of the ambitions of several men who felt that it was their right to step up and fill that absence.

Long story short, there were many of us who were killed and seriously injured. I was shot several times during all of this but managed to survive. At this point, I decided that I had had enough. I had been learning English, Russian, and German, working on becoming fluent in those languages, which was very difficult. During the chaos of the fallout of what had happened, I grabbed my rainy day fund and fled the country to live abroad.

Since then, I have lived simply, without the ostentatious displays of wealth and power that I had been accustomed to. I hated every minute of it initially and wept bitterly over the loss of my possessions, my lifestyle, my brothers, my home.

I now work as a baker, living a much simpler (but more satisfying) life, and I am raising a daughter. I stay away from nightlife, which is incompatible with my work hours and trying to be a responsible parent. I don’t drink or smoke anymore. I am friendly with the people I work with and with customers, but I never talk about myself, preferring instead to ask them questions about themselves – people will tell you anything if you show interest when they talk about themselves (which was one of the key tools I learned back in my past life.) So far, no repercussions from my past as far as I can tell, which is more than what I deserve if I’m being honest.

I imagine someday everything will catch up with me. But I want to shield my daughter from all of that as much as I can. I want her memories of me to be favorable. I want her to believe that I am a boring person who has banal routines and simple pleasures.

12. “It didn’t feel like I was in a gang at the time”

During high school, I was best friends with this guy Mike. Mike was a really mouthy kid though, and would run his mouth to a group of kids that lived in the co-op across the street from our bus stop. Running his mouth turned into a couple small “fights” — mostly the kind of high school fights were everyone stands around mouthing off but not actually throwing punches. Some days, the co-op kids would be waiting for Mike to get off the bus, so every afternoon when the bus dropped us off, we would check to see if these kids were there waiting. If they were, then a group of us would all get off the bus because we wanted to have his back and make sure that he didn’t get jumped.

This went on for a pretty long time before some of the co-op kids started bringing baseball bats and threatening us with them. I think they were just trying to look tough, and I’m not sure that they would have actually done anything, since most of the “fighting” up to that point was really just standing around and swearing at each other. But when Mike’s older cousin (who was in his 20’s) heard about the baseball bats, he went ballistic and showed up the next day with a bat of his own.

That was the tipping point right there. Now these co-op kids started getting their older brothers and cousins involved too. About a week later, Mike got jumped.

Mike’s cousin got a couple of his older friends involved and, before we knew it, people were being attacked. We didn’t go anywhere alone anymore, and usually brought a group of friends and some of the older guys with us. Anytime someone from our group was attacked, our older guys would retaliate, which would cause the other side to retaliate. It was just a circle.

It didn’t feel like I was in a gang at the time. It just felt like we had a group of older guys protecting us but, looking back, I would definitely now say that it was a gang. The problem was that you couldn’t just get out if you wanted to. If I had cut off ties with my group and the older guys, I would have had nobody to protect me and I would have got the life kicked out of me by the co-op kids.

Thankfully, I got into college and left town. During my first year of college, my family moved, so I didn’t have to go back and deal with the gang anymore. In the couple years after I left, I heard that things had really escalated: one of the co-op kids was killed, and one of the older guys on our side also died. Mike and his cousin started dealing weed by the pound, and his cousin was eventually busted and took the fall for that and went to jail.

I don’t think anyone in my group considered it to be a gang even though it was, so they were all understanding when I left for college and when my family moved. I don’t keep in touch with any of them except for Mike, and even then it’s just an occasional Facebook message to see how he’s doing.

That was all about 7-8 years ago and my past hasn’t come back to haunt me, although I’m still very weary that I’ll run into a couple of the co-op kids someday and they’ll still have a grudge against me.

13. “Eventually you just get too old”

I used to have a very serious drug problem, coupled with the fact I grew up in a rough hood, it was inevitable. Basically I needed protection and drugs. Eventually you just get too old for that. Kicked my drug habit several years ago, found an amazing girl and realized I didn’t have to stay in such a dangerous spot. We moved out to the mountains and aside from my police record and my ongoing struggle with addiction, I left those demons back in the city. For real though, you can leave your hood so easily if you want to. Took me so long to realize that.

The post Former Gang Members Recount How They Finally Got Out appeared first on UberFacts.

Kidnapping Victims Explain What It’s like to Be Snatched

The idea of being taken, just taken away without any agency or control over what might happen…it’s terrifying. These 10 AskReddit users all survived their ordeals, and many of them even fought until they escaped. But some were just plain lucky, and that’s the most terrifying of all – sometimes, survival is just dumb luck.

1. “She..wanted to fill the gap”

When I was maybe 10 or 11, my neighbour kidnapped me. She was this single woman in her 50s who was always super, super nice to me. She was always on her porch, and she’d wave when I came home from school. Anyway, I was walking home from school and she was waving as usual, but this time she was beckoning me over. I went up to her porch and she asked me if I wanted some meatloaf she made. I loved meatloaf and she seemed harmless, so I said yes. I expected her to come outside with a plate or something, but instead she called me in and told me to sit downstairs. I felt weird about it, but I followed her into her basement and sat down on her couch. She brought me a plate of meatloaf and I watched Pokemon 2000 on VHS. She had a freezer with those tube popsicle things too. After I ate, I told her I needed to go home, and she told me my parents called and asked her to keep me while they ran errands. I felt weird about it and suspected she was lying, but I just kinda went along with it.

I remember I asked her if I could get my gameboy at one point from my house and she said my parents told me not to let me out of her sight. I remember watching Men In Black and falling asleep. When I woke up, I tried leaving, but the door was locked. She left some banana pudding for me on the table for when I woke up, so I just had that and went back to sleep. She opened the door at like, 5 in the morning, woke me up, and asked me if I wanted to go home. She looked like she had been crying. I told her yes and she let me go.

My parents asked me where I was and I just told them I went home with a friend after school. I didn’t have a cell phone, so it was pretty normal for me to just be gone for a day.

I didn’t see my neighbour on her porch the next Monday, so I knocked on her door. She came outside and we talked on the porch about stuff. We never talked about that night, and she probably thought I didn’t even realize what happened. She didn’t say, but I think she had a kid who died a couple years prior and wanted to fill the gap. I never hated her for it or anything. Until I moved a couple years later, I would sit on her porch after school most days and she’d listen to my neat facts about space.

2. For Ransom

This happened a while ago when I was 6. I come from a place where kidnappings are unfortunately common, and when this happened it was at an all time high. We lived in a fairly nice neighbourhood, no kidnappings there, no theft, great neighbours. We felt pretty safe and therefore, my mom wasn’t too worried. Our house was a gated residence so we had a front yard and backyard. I was out one morning in the front yard, playing with some toys while my mom was inside working or cooking or whatever. Someone knocked on the front gate, me being a dumb child decided to go up and ask who it was. It was this fairly old man who asked for some water, me being the nice, helping child opened the door and was snatched immediately.

I don’t particularly remember what happened after that but I woke up in a compound which I’m pretty sure was far from home. They hadn’t done anything bad to me as far as I know. But they did try to feed me food that I didn’t like. I was a picky child and so, all I ate was fruit. They had asked for ransom, which to this day, I don’t know how much it was. They just kept me in a room all day with duct tape on my mouth and ropes around my feet and hands. They did take duct tape off to let me drink water or eat food. Anyways, a few days later, the police busted them and arrested them. They ended up in jail for life is what I was told.

Not too long after that, my parents decided to move to a different country and now all is well. I still think about what might have gone wrong if they had sold me into child slavery or something (fairly common in my country). Life resumed after that, I’m as happy as a 20 year old can be. Nothing really changed. I still don’t know why I was kidnapped, maybe for ransom or whatever. In exactly a month, it’ll be my 14th kidnapping anniversary!

3. Big Tony 

Two years ago, I was very hungover on a summer Saturday in Manhattan. A girl I was seeing at the time was angrily getting her things together and proceeded to storm out of the apartment, which was shared by myself and four other guys. My old roommates had moved to a new apartment the night before. There are boxes and miscellaneous stuff everywhere. I’m laying in bed, dying. It’s around 9 or 10 am.

About five minutes after the girl storms out, theres a knock at the door. She must have forgotten her phone charger or something. I get up in my boxers, walk across the living room where all the unpacked/half packed stuff is, and open up the door. Behind the door was one of the scariest faces I’ve ever seen. Very beady eyes, thick mustache, scarred up face, balding man in his 50’s. I was holding the door slightly ajar. Since it wasn’t who I thought it was, I stepped behind the door a bit to hide my pale, half-naked body, and stuck my head through the crack.

He asked if Billy was home (one of my old roommates). I told him that Billy had moved out the day before. With that said, he put all of his bodyweight into the door, sending me flying back. This dude was enormous. As I was recovering from this and trying to think why someone would be so angry with Billy, this gentleman open-hand slaps me so hard I hit the ground. I am now awake.

My new houseguest identifies himself as Big Tony, and demands to speak with Billy. I go into my room (right off of the living room where Big Tony is now setting up shop) and put on pants and grab my phone. Tony has already made it very clear not to call the police, or try to run out of my apartment or I might fall out of the window or get shot in the knees.

Apparently, Billy owes him a lot of money. I call Billy, who says he never heard of Big Tony, and Billy is convinced it’s a joke. Tony asks for the phone, where I hear Billy telling Big Tony where he can stick it and to get out of his old apartment. Tony is now upset, and starts telling Billy that his roommate (myself) might get hurt if he doesn’t learn some manners and come to the old apartment. Billy hangs up.

Tony, for some reason took a liking to me. He apologized for the slap, gave me cigarettes, and said he hoped that this would all work out. He constantly comments on the fact that I’m living like an animal (since theres stuff all over the apartment), and asking if me and my old roomies watch betting sports. We never watched sports, never had cable. He asks if Billy’s last name is something which it isn’t, and then asks if Billy is from somewhere that he isn’t, and than asked if Billy is enrolled in a university that he isn’t. I inform Big Tony that I’m fairly confident he is in the wrong apartment.

Just as I’m getting him to back off and believe that there might be more then one Billy living in an apartment building, there is another knock at the door. “If it’s the cops or your parents, I’m the maintenance guy”. (My parents were coming to help me move out that afternoon). I open the door, and it’s Henry, another one of my old roommates. I inform him he’s picked a bad time as he’s already waltzing inside to get some things. Tony poses as my uncle for a few minutes, before I intervene and tell Henry that this giant man is looking for Billy, who he believes owes him money. “Henry, do you guys gamble?” “Yeah, we gamble all the time.”

We played dice/cards a lot. I try explaining to Tony that we don’t gamble on sports, but now we have to go through the whole gambit again. After another half hour of questions with Henry, Tony is back to believing he is in the wrong apartment. He calls his “coworker” to get a picture texted to him, it’s not Billy. Okay. I tell Tony good luck and try to shoo him out of the apartment. No, it’s never that easy.

Tony wishes to take Henry and I out for coffee and doughnuts, his personal apology. I refuse. He won’t have it. I’m in a Starbucks ordering doughnuts and coffee, which we consume in a nearby park, and listen to Tony’s stories.

Half an hour later, he says we can leave (at this point it didn’t seem like we were being kept though) and we head back. Naturally no one believes us. We have a party in the old/pretty empty apartment. I stay at a friends place in the building, and wake up to knocks. Straight up ‘Nam flashbacks. It’s my buddy Tom, who also lives in the building. He tells me someone’s outside looking for me. Great.

I get dressed, and head outside to find Big Tony, who gives me a grocery bag filled with Beer and Cigarettes. Tom and a few other friends from the building come outside and we drink beer in styrofoam cups on the street whilst listening to Tony’s stories. Everyone believes Henry and I, and if I’m ever in Tony’s neighbourhood, I should call him for dinner on him.

4. Custody Kidnapping

I was ‘kidnapped’ when I was 7 and it was the best thing that ever happened to me.

I lived with my mother and her awful boyfriend. I wasn’t abused physically, but looking back the mental abuse and neglect was very traumatic. Some borderline Lifetime movie things…

Anyways my father had visitation rights and picked me up every other weekend. One weekend he came to get me and saw that I had not eaten much (food was almost always under lock and key) and my mom and her boyfriend were nowhere to be found. So, my father told me, “Pack your stuff.”

We spent some time hiding out at different places with family, friends, even hotels in Laughlin and Vegas. It was like a mini vacation. I even remember staying at my dad’s girlfriend’s house when the cops showed up. I hid under the bed while they talked to her.

At the end of the day, I never had to go back to my Mom’s boyfriend’s house and my father won majority custody. I’m not sure how I would’ve turned out if I had stayed there. Thanks Dad.

5. Never accept a ride from an unaccredited taxi. Just don’t do it.

Me and my mate spent 2010 new years eve in Philly. We were partying with bunch of our friends but we wanted to go “downtown”. Additional vital information, we’re both Icelandic, completely naive about our surrounding.

After walking around the area, going to a whole bunch of strange parties, etc… We’re trying to find a taxi when this guy drops by us and offers us a ride, mind you, it was 2 AM and we were like “Heck yeah man! Thank you so much!” and we jump in the rear seat. He said it would only take 10 minutes, after about 30 minutes, in a really strange and shady hood we figured something wasn’t adding up. He then parked the car, told us he was going to pick up a friend of his.

About a minute after he left we were going to run for it but he had locked the doors with the baby lock, so we’re like.. welp.. this is it.. this is how it ends..

Neither one of us remembers what happened but we somehow managed to escape and we hid behind some fence. We saw the guy coming back with like couple of friends and they began searching for us.

Being rather inebriated, we have no memory how we got back home, we didn’t remember what street our apartment was at, which part of town but around 7 AM we finally got back. When we told our friends about this story, they all agreed that we were probably the dumbest and luckiest guys they’ve ever known.

6. Internet Horror Story

I met a man online who was around my parents age, he pelted me with compliments and told me how pretty I was and everything a teenage girl wants to hear.

I met him in secret every other weekend for three months. I would tell my parents I was staying at a friend’s house and then he and I would get a hotel room for the weekend.

He started getting really controlling, bordering on physically abusive so after a particularly harsh fight I told him I didn’t want to see him anymore.

A few months later he showed up at my job as I was leaving and told me he wanted me to come to his house (2 hours away) so we could talk about stuff. I told him I had nothing to say to him and tried to leave.

He told me he had recorded us together and that if I didn’t go with him he would make sure my parents, my siblings and my boss got a copy of it. That we were just going to talk so he could explain why he acted the way he had.

I was terrified of my parents finding out I’d been lying, so I went with him.

He made me drive his car there (probably because we had to go through a toll booth with a camera and it would look less against my will if I was the one driving).

We got to his house and he immediately turned violent. He shoved me into his room and locked the door.

He ended up keeping me there for a week. During that time he pretended to be my father and called into work for me. He made me sign onto all of my accounts online (email, AIM, MySpace) he had a key logger set up on his computer so now he had all of my passwords. He took my phone the moment we got to his house.

He wrote a “script” and had me call nearly everyone in my phone and tell them I didn’t want to be friends with them anymore and never to contact me again.

One day he took me for a drive to this park bordering a river and told me that was where he was going to bury me. That night I started actively fighting back (prior to that I thought he was just going to let me go eventually).

I kicked him in the testicles and hit him in the face but that only made him mad and he shoved me on the bed and knelt on my back with my hands behind my back while screaming at me and whacking me in the side of the head.

He was so pissed off that night that he used my phone and called my dad around 6am and left him a voicemail saying “You don’t know where your daughter really is or what she’s been up to and you never will.”

My dad called my phone probably 20-30 times.

The guy eventually was afraid he’d the police so he had me answer and told me to tell my dad it was all a joke. He sat pretty much on top of me and told me if he caught me trying to tell him where I was he would kill me.

I told my dad my friends and I had been drinking and it was one of my friends idea of a prank.

When I was little I had this friend who I would play with but she ALWAYS wanted me to spend the night and would pressure me into calling and asking my parents. My dad came up with a trick where he would ask me “Are you going to watch wrestling tonight?” And if I said yes it meant I wanted to stay. If I said no it meant I wanted him to say I could not stay.

At the end of our phone call for the first time in probably ten years he asked are you going to watch wrestling tonight? And I said no.

When we hung up he called the police and called all of my friends that he could get ahold of. He eventually called the ONE friend who I had told about this guy. And he had all his info, name, phone number, everything.

Within 24 hours I was safe at home, confessed everything to everyone, got a bunch of phone calls from friends who were confused and worried and everything worked out.

I never ever go anywhere without multiple people knowing where I’ll be and who I’m with.

I carry pepper spray and a self defense weapon.

And I never met another person online.

I’m 31 now and it’s still something I think about more often than I’d like to.

7. “I’m going to kill you. You’re going to die.”

Around three years ago I had just started a relationship with my current girlfriend. She hadn’t told any of her family that she was gay as they were very homophobic, so they knew nothing of me and our relationship. However, we were slightly careless as you are in the beginning of a relationship, and we updated Facebook with pictures of us together- although we didn’t state that we were in a relationship.

So, her parents basically worked out what was going on between us, and one night I get a call from my upset girlfriend saying that her parents had turned up at her house unannounced (they lived abroad so this was a big deal) and had told her they were taking her to their home (abroad) the next day, and she had no choice about it. Bear in mind she was 22 at the time and an adult, but they made significant threats to her and she didn’t know what to do as they stopped her leaving the house. They took away her phone and she couldn’t contact me, so I hopped on a train and travelled the 2 hours to her flat to find out what was going on.

I wasn’t really aware of the situation and how dangerous it was, and I certainly should never have entered the house, but I was worried about my girlfriend.

As soon as I turned up her parents took me inside, and locked the door. This is when I started to get scared. They didn’t speak great English and were shouting at me in Spanish, and they grabbed my bag and took my phone, wallet and iPod away and locked them in a different room. My girlfriend and her sister were there, and they had my girlfriend trapped in a different room. They sat me on the sofa and started interrogating me in broken English, and pulling my hair and stuff. I was surrounded by my girlfriends mum, older sister, and her dad who was this huge guy that I would have no hope in fighting off as I was just like, a little 19 year old girl. We were on the top floor of an apartment building so I had no escape except the locked door. I kept asking to leave, and trying to leave but they stopped me, and were shouting still. Also, I could hear my girlfriend shouting help from in another room (it later came out they had been hitting her and stuff).

They started bringing in towels, which was strange and I kept saying ‘what are these towels for’, then her dad looked me dead in the face and went deadly silent.

He said to me. ‘I’m going to kill you. You’re going to die’. And I thought, ‘welp…’.

I suddenly went really calm and stopped trying to resist. I remember thinking, okay, this is how I die, and I was very calm. I started thinking how they would get rid of my body (I don’t know why) and how my parents would find out, or if they ever would, and that no one knew I was there. I also started becoming really sarcastic to whatever they said as I knew I was completely overpowered. Oh, and I remember that I really needed to pee, and for some reason this became the only thought in my head. It’s like, when you’re being kidnapped there’s never a good time to ask for the toilet? And I wanted to die with some dignity I guess! So I kept asking to use the toilet, and for some reason they said yes but that I had to be watched. So that was humiliating.

Anyway, whilst they were distracted by the whole toilet thing, my girlfriend found where they had hidden my phone, and she managed to get out of the front door and ran away. Her mum and dad chased her, but she hid (she told me this later) and she called the police and they came and saved me, thank god. They denied the whole plan to kill me thing when the police got there, even pretended they didn’t speak English! In terms of what I wouldn’t do now: I’ve very careful about knowing my exits (I’m a mental health nurse and have to visit patients home often so it comes in handy at work too!) and I’m wary around my partners family, who I still have to see a couple times a year and pretend they didn’t try to kill me.

8. Home Invader

My sister was taken from our home at knife point. We stupidly left a back sliding glass door unlocked and a man who worked at a traveling fair that was in our town came in, took a knife from our kitchen, went upstairs and grabbed my little sister who was 9 at the time. I luckily awoke when she let out a little scream and saw the man dragging her down the stairs. I screamed for my father who jumped out of bed and gave chase. He caught them about 10 feet outside the sliding glass door. The kidnapper told my dad he would kill my sister if he got any closer. My father told him you’ll have to kill me first. My sister elbowed the guy and my father immediately jumped him. Just to let you all know my father was then and is still a big dude. At 67 he’s still lifting but back then he was beast. The fight didn’t last long and the guy was in a coma for 2 days.

The aftermath was tough. My sister couldn’t sleep in her room for over a year. I would often stay up all night with a baseball bat guarding my family. Slowly we all healed. My sister is married with her own kids now and is a great but over protective mom.

9. Ex-Boyfriend

I was around 18 years old, I’d been dating this guy for about 8 months and I broke up with him because my parents were treating me differently and I didn’t like it. It put too much strain on both my bf and I, and my parents and I’s relationship and I just couldn’t take it any longer. About a week after I broke up with him he showed up at my parent’s house wanting to talk to me. My mom answered the door, I didn’t want any part of it, so she told him to go away. He got belligerent and eventually left, so she called the police. He was pulled over, and given a warning, then they let him be. In retrospect they, probably should have examined his car a little closer.

Dad was at work, mom took sister somewhere, and I was playing Mario Party alone. There was a knock at the back door and I look through the glass from the couch and he was there looking in trying to talk to me. Again, I didn’t want any part of it so I ignored him. He got mad and shouldered the door. The frame cracked. He did it again and the door burst open. I said, ‘What the heck are you doing?’ and he grabbed me and put me over his shoulder and carried me outside. I figured he was just going to put me in the front seat and leave with me but then he popped the trunk of his car with the remote and I realized what was going to happen. I twisted a little, which surprised him, and he dropped me, but then he put me in a headlock where I couldn’t breathe and I stopped struggling. He tossed me in the trunk and shut it and drove off.

At this point, I was doing everything I could to get out of the trunk ((It was a Buick Le Sabre; the model which, of course, doesn’t have a way to open the trunk from the inside)) so I started kicking the back of the seats to get out. I eventually got one open enough to stick my head through to get some air. It was in August, and the temperatures outside were riding 95 degrees, so inside the trunk was about 110. I got my head out and could finally breathe. He had calmed down a bit, and I knew he just wanted to talk to me, so he didn’t really freak when I was able to climb into the backseat.

When he was putting me in the trunk, the neighbor kids were outside and they saw what was happening and ran inside to tell their parents. Parents called the police, police called my mom, and my mom was doing 95 down the highway to get home.

Ex-bf drove me an hour and a half away to an old camp he used to go to and we talked for a while. He then took me to Pizza Hut cause I said I was hungry. I remember wondering why no one was concerned that I was waiting for a pizza without shoes or socks on. Because no one said anything, I figured my parents hadn’t realized what had happened yet. Little did I know, an Amber Alert had already been issued.

Anyways, he decided he didn’t want to go to jail, so he was going back to his workplace/place of residence to get his shotgun. When he got there, the cops were waiting for him and tried to taser him. They missed and he jumped back in his car and did a backwards u-turn. He started driving through the city at speeds of 60-85 MPH.

If you’ve never been in a high speed police pursuit, let me tell you; it’s a rush. Sooooo much adrenaline.

Anyways, he was going to get on the highway but the police had it blocked off with spike strips so he turned onto a backroad that dead ended. He ended up crashing into a tree. ((I was in the front seat by this time.))

The cops swarmed the car, pulled us both out, and since they didn’t realize who we were, cuffed us both and put us in separate cop cars. Once everything was situated, the un-cuffed me and put me in a police SUV and transported me back to the police station in my city. Parents and sister were there, freaked out, found out I was ok. The whole ordeal lasted around 10 hours. Ex got 4 years and is now out of jail in a half-way house.

10. Mall Burglary   

It way my 13th birthday party, and to celebrate my parents allowed me to invite about 8 girls over for a slumber party to celebrate. In addition to the slumber party, my mom took us out as a group to the mall since that’s what a bunch of 13 year olds in the late 90s liked to do for fun.

Everything started out great – we were having fun, going places together like Abercrombie, Limited Too, Claires, etc. We had just left the Limited Too store when all of a sudden we heard loud bangs and a bunch of screaming. About 5 stores down was a jewelry store, and it had just been robbed. My best friend and I were standing next to each other and were a little ahead of the rest of our group. The burglars were running straight at us, and we panicked and stood still not sure what to do. They kept running for us, and started reaching out to grab us. A woman saw all of this, and quickly grabbed both of us and dragged us into the nearest store. The store manager quickly slammed the safety gate, and the burglars grabbed someone else right next to where we were standing as a hostage and ran off. The woman who grabbed us and the store manager, still in panic mode, had ushered us to the back of the store and we sprinted down the back alley to get the heck out of there.

Now outside, the woman told us she was a mother herself and wanted to help us get back to my mom. But seeing how this was before the age of cellphones and the mall had been robbed for the first time in its history (it had only been open for about a year), we had no direct way of finding my mom. So this lady offered to let us hang out in her minivan while we waited for my mom to come and find us. I couldn’t remember where my mom had parked, so we decided to wait out by the main entrance parking lot until things died down. About 90 minutes later, we finally spotted my mom…and about 8 cops who all were trying to figure out where the heck we were. I don’t blame the lady for helping us, and I still think she was trying to do what she thought best, but she probably shouldn’t have made us stay in her van with her for so long without trying to contact anyone to let them know she had us.

My friend and I both freak out when people suddenly grab (or even touch) us unexpectedly, and I spook at the slightest of sounds anymore, especially if it sounds even remotely like a gunshot.

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The post Kidnapping Victims Explain What It’s like to Be Snatched appeared first on UberFacts.

19 of the Most Satisfying Revenge Stories of All Time

Sometimes, people are rude. And rude people are just asking for petty vengeance. I know some of these 19 AskReddit tales of trifling retribution might seem over the top, but rudeness is simply not to be borne – not in civil society, anyway. In my experience, the only way a rude person learns to dial back the sass is by facing consequences. So I cheered as I read these stories, cheered for the cause of justice!

1. He wanted water…

Kid stole my water bottle. I opened it up and left it inside his backpack.

2. *GASP*

My sister posted a very anti-LGBT article on Facebook when the North Carolina bathroom bill was passed. She claimed she “no longer felt safe” shopping at Target if she might “be forced to use a bathroom” with a trans person. (The horror!)

So for her wedding the following month, I got her a Target gift card.

XOXO,

Your very gay brother ♥

3. That’s only fair

Someone in my office would always crush lunches with his gigantic lunch box. Either he ate bricks or lead, I don’t know, but I always came to the office fridge and found that my lunch was in pieces.

So, after three bouts of this, and numerous notes from myself and other colleagues, I carefully removed his lunch box, emptied the contents (a gigantic sandwich, a Twinkie, chips, some vegetable pieces, and a few other bits), and ran over them with my car. I carefully packed it back in, and put it back.

He kept his lunch in a cooler by his cube from then on.

4. lol, nice

My Ex cheated with a married man. He now lives with her. He is a POS.. but anyway, I still have login for her DVR. I logged in, erased all her shows, then recorded only the show “Cheaters.” Petty, but it makes me laugh.

5. Pop pop!

When I was a kid I got the Sabrina the Teenage Witch “Handbook” – it was full of kiddie experiments and stuff and was pretty fun.

My older sister had upset or annoyed me about something, so I tried out one of the ‘tricks’ from the book.

You fill a cup with water and some corn kernels, put some tinfoil on top of the cup, the kernels eventually pop and it makes noise against the tinfoil.

I put it under her bed, it takes a few days to “work”, so I completely forgot about it, until one night I woke up to my two sisters whispering – it had popped in the middle of the night and she thought there was a rat under her bed.

6. Mild irritation is the most fun level

My wife is very picky about the mugs she has for different hot drinks: Tall mugs for coffee, wide mugs for tea, dainty cups for fruit teas.

When she’s being irritating and asks for a cuppa she gets very plain, boring builders mugs and I delight at the mild irritation it brings.

7. Hello, Jim from The Office

Speeding up a coworker’s double click speed and watch him squirm when his normal double clicking speed isn’t working.

8. That’s a good point to stop

I once had a colleague I didn’t appreciate, so I put an extra Bluetooth receiver in his computer for a computer mouse and kept the mouse in my drawer. I would just open my drawer and it would mess his curser right up. Kept it going for like 2 months. He was about to murder the world when I thought I better stop.

9. Eff that guy

I had a guy in school who would always skip class and then ask for my notes. We had a group project worth almost 40% of our grade and he did zero work, and the prof told me tough luck.

Instead of just saying no the next time he asked for notes, I took the low road and began giving him edited versions.

I would leave items out of lists, incorrectly define things or just straight up write stuff that makes no sense.

An example of the crap I would put in: To calculate return on investment, subtract your yearly earnings from your current bank balance, then multiply by Echer’s factorial (4.22).

If he had even once bothered to crack the text he would have figured it out, but that apparently would have been too much effort for him.

He retook that class.

10. What’d he do to you??

Listing a Playstation 4 as brand new on multiple second hand goods websites, for $50. I used my old landlord’s phone number as the contact number, ‘cos that guy was malicious.

He had to change numbers.

11. These are…genius. You’re a genius.

I have two with a previous landlord / property management company.

I signed a lease on a townhouse while in college that “included high speed internet” … the setup was basically one awful router for 14x townhouses (so like 28 people). Needless to say it was crap, and the location of our unit vs. the router made it worse. We made some calls to try and get them to add a router or hardwire us in so we could add our own. No dice.

Eventually I paid to get my own service and added 2x routers in our unit. I changed the SSID to match what the “free” router was, and kept the passwords the same… so to the residents it looked like there was better coverage.

After about two weeks I changed one router’s password and just disconnected the other. So some residents could use the “free” router, some had a bad password, and some could connect but couldn’t reach the outside world. They must have been flooded with calls because within 24 hours they had someone out and added 3x new routers to help with coverage.

The other was after a huge snowfall (~24″ in 24 hours) …. the property management company hadn’t touched the snow in our parking lot for days … after day 3 I called to mention we were sort of trapped and they needed to send trucks / snow blowers / etc to take care of things… the response I got was basically “Sorry, we’ll get to it sooner or later”.

… side note – years ago if you opened a yahoo email, you could add a second email for recovery without confirming it.

I created a new @yahoo email address and used their general @Xpropertymanagement as the alternate email. I had it copy every email to both. I then signed up for alerts for every time there was an ebay listing for “snow plow” “snow blower” “snow shovel” or there was a “sale on X snow removal” gear…. it took a matter of hours before thousands of emails were sent. Ended up crashing their email server.

They responded to all residents with a very nice email explaining they get the frustration, and they’re working on it…. so I paused the alerts. 24 hours later, still nothing, alerts back on. Another email, another pause, another day of nothing, repeat. Eventually we got the driveway plowed and life was good.

12. That’s crappy! 

We had a guy in our office take a crap in the bathroom every day after lunch and it would stink up the whole office. The manager asked everyone who needed to vacate their bowels to please use the lobby bathroom since our office was small and we only had the one bathroom. He didn’t listen. Fortunately, he was like clockwork so 5 minutes before he went in I took all the toilet paper…. that’s right. I forced the man to live with a dirty bottom.

13. Playing with Himself

I used to work as a sound tech part-time at a nearby bar when studying for my computer science degree. It was great fun and even kinda relevant to my degree (and gave me a great excuse to binge on audiophile equipment).

So basically every Friday night we would give a slot to a band from the college to perform for an hour or so, and this rich guy’s son would always turn up in some band or another. He had all the fanciest gear (Fender Strat, distortion pedals, etc.) but his technique sucked. But to anyone who would listen, he was the next Jimi Hendrix blah blah.

One thing about this guy was that he loved to pump his volume through the roof and play these crunchy chords with the distortion amped to the max, in the process drowning out the rest of his band members.

So instead of hooking up to the mixer and then through to the PA system, I just routed his signal through to his in-ear monitors, and every time he performed his “solo” he would gyrate around the stage for no apparent reason.

Really the most petty thing I’ve ever done, but revenge is sweet. (I heard he still plays amateur guitar through the grapevine)

14. Brat

My boyfriend’s uncle and 7 year old cousin live upstairs from us. His cousin has a tendency to be a little brat. I was holding her yorkie when she came over and yanked her from my arms.

No more than 20 minutes later I went out and bought some dog treats. Everyday when I come home I give the dog a treat. Now the dog waits by our door instead of her’s.

15. That’s gotta be detention!

This dude in my accounting class in high school used to ask me for answers to questions, only to spout them to the teacher like he’d worked them out, thereby looking like a genius and getting credit for my work.

One day our teacher comes into class with a pierced tongue and is talking sort of funny. Terry, as his name is, proceeds to use it as a point of conversation. “Hey miss, do you have any other piercings, like your ear?” “No,”, she responds, thinking he’s making inane conversation. “Would you get your nose pierced?” He keeps asking, just to prolong the time before class starts.

As usual, he leans over asking for help. “What are some other good things to ask her?” I was annoyed that he always asked for my help to benefit him, so I thought I’d have some fun. “Labia, ask if she’s going to get her labia pierced.” “What is a labia?” he says. “Oh, sorry, it means eyebrow, that’s like the piercing name for it. Like how a tragus is that nose piercing, yeah?” “Oh cool! Hey miss, are you going to get your labia pierced next?”

Every girl, and especially the teacher, in the class looked at him like he was trash, and he tried blaming me, but I brushed it off gracefully.

16. Wrecked

Back when I was studying engineering, it occurred to me to try and find an app on my iphone for those Panasonic projectors in lecture rooms. So I get the app and it just let me connect to the one in the class without a password or anything. I have a friend who is one of those perpetual pranksters, you can’t leave your pc or bag or food/drink unattended when he’s around.

So I beam a picture of him onto the projector, so the lecturer is just talking away and this goofy picture of my mate is on the screen. Lecturer doesn’t realise yet, people in the lecture start waking up and giggling a bit. Now I use the pen function and draw a penis on the picture too. Mate was red in the face and trying to hide. Lecturer finally noticed and says “Michael why is there a picture of you on the screen?”

Finally for a fleeting moment I actually wrecked that dude.

17. …pretty sketchy boss

I had a 6 month school internship at a mobile phone store. The boss was a total jerk that treated his school-interns like full paid workers (even gave me some concerning money-responsibilities).

A while after the internship he called to tell me I would have to give a statement at court.

He had a problem with some customer and a shipment and he planned to tell the court that he explained me everything concerning shippings precisely. Of course he didn’t. And of course I didn’t lie in front of the judge. My boss’ attorney gave me a look I will never forget when he realized his stupid plans didn’t work out. Few weeks later my now ex-boss tried to call me again. I didn’t pick up.

18. Good, that guy sounds like a jerk.

Work related- My co-worker was always complaining and always lazy with his work, yet he got recognition for the simplest thing he would actually do. He also took credit for a full days work that was pretty much all me. I always got ignored. So one day, I came in early and I unplugged his Ethernet jack just barley to the point it looked like it was still plugged into his computer. For 4 hours he couldn’t do any work. Meanwhile, I got my work done, and he couldn’t take any credit for it since everyone knew he didn’t have Internet access. Half way through the day, he left on break, I plugged it back in and bam, just like this it was working. By then, he couldn’t claim my work, and I begun to get noticed more.

19. PWNED

When I was about 13, I was snooping around my older brother’s room and found a stack of 20 dollar bills stashed away. He was saving up from his high school job to buy a car. Hundreds of dollars. To 13-year old me it was a fortune, and I figured he wouldn’t notice if I stole just one 20 — still a lot of money to me. So I did.

For years I would remember it every once and a while and feel guilty. The worst part was, when I took the 20, he was also a teenage kid and probably knew exactly how much money was there. He probably knew I took one but let me get away with it because he figured I needed it. That made me feel much worse.

15 years later, I’m hanging around with him on the holidays. I see that he left his wallet on the counter, and he’s upstairs. I sneak into his wallet, see there’s a few 20s, and I slide an extra one in there. Got him!

The post 19 of the Most Satisfying Revenge Stories of All Time appeared first on UberFacts.

19 Creepy, True Stories That Might Ruin Your Sleep Tonight

Ready for some nightmare fuel…?

Have you ever had something happen to you that made your pulse pound and your adrenaline kick into action? Something so scary that you had to take a moment or two to recover?

You may need a moment to recover from just hearing some of these 19 (scary af) true stories from AskReddit. The people who lived them certainly did:

1. Dancing Man

About five years ago I lived downtown in a major city in the US. I’ve always been a night person, so I would often find myself bored after my roommate, who was decidedly not a night person, went to sleep. To pass the time, I used to go for long walks and spend the time thinking.

I spent four years like that, walking alone at night, and never once had a reason to feel afraid. I always used to joke with my roommate that even the drug dealers in the city were polite. But all of that changed in just a few minutes of one evening.

It was a Wednesday, somewhere between one and two in the morning, and I was walking near a police patrolled park quite a ways from my apartment. It was a quiet night, even for a week night, with very little traffic and almost no one on foot. The park, as it was most nights, was completely empty.

I turned down a short side street in order to loop back to my apartment when I first noticed him. At the far end of the street, on my side, was the silhouette of a man, dancing. It was a strange dance, similar to a waltz, but he finished each “box” with an odd forward stride. I guess you could say he was dance-walking, headed straight for me.

Deciding he was probably drunk, I stepped as close as I could to the road to give him the majority of the sidewalk to pass me by. The closer he got, the more I realized how gracefully he was moving. He was very tall and lanky, and wearing an old suit. He danced closer still, until I could make out his face. His eyes were open wide and wild, head tilted back slightly, looking off at the sky. His mouth was formed in a painfully wide cartoon of a smile. Between the eyes and the smile, I decided to cross the street before he danced any closer.

I took my eyes off of him to cross the empty street. As I reached the other side, I glanced back… and then stopped dead in my tracks. He had stopped dancing and was standing with one foot in the street, perfectly parallel to me. He was facing me but still looking skyward. Smile still wide on his lips.

?I was completely and utterly unnerved by this. I started walking again, but kept my eyes on the man. He didn’t move.

Once I had put about half a block between us, I turned away from him for a moment to watch the sidewalk in front of me. The street and sidewalk ahead of me were completely empty. Still unnerved, I looked back to where he had been standing to find him gone. For the briefest of moments I felt relieved, until I noticed him. He had crossed the street, and was now slightly crouched down. I couldn’t tell for sure due to the distance and the shadows, but I was certain he was facing me. I had looked away from him for no more than 10 seconds, so it was clear that he had moved fast.

I was so shocked that I stood there for some time, staring at him. And then he started moving toward me again. He took giant, exaggerated tip toed steps, as if he were a cartoon character sneaking up on someone. Except he was moving very, very quickly.

I’d like to say at this point I ran away or pulled out my pepper spray or my cellphone or anything at all, but I didn’t. I just stood there, completely frozen as the smiling man crept toward me.
And then he stopped again, about a car length away from me. Still smiling his smile, still looking to the sky.

When I finally found my voice, I blurted out the first thing that came to mind. What I meant to ask was, “What the fuck do you want?!” in an angry, commanding tone. What came out was a whimper, “What the fuu…?”
Regardless of whether or not humans can smell fear, they can certainly hear it. I heard it in my own voice, and that only made me more afraid. But he didn’t react to it at all. He just stood there, smiling.

And then, after what felt like forever, he turned around, very slowly, and started dance-walking away. Just like that. Not wanting to turn my back to him again, I just watched him go, until he was far enough away to almost be out of sight. And then I realized something. He wasn’t moving away anymore, nor was he dancing. I watched in horror as the distant shape of him grew larger and larger. He was coming back my way. And this time he was running.

I ran too.

I ran until I was off of the side road and back onto a better lit road with sparse traffic. Looking behind me then, he was nowhere to be found. The rest of the way home, I kept glancing over my shoulder, always expecting to see his stupid smile, but he was never there.

I lived in that city for six months after that night, and I never went out for another walk. There was something about his face that always haunted me. He didn’t look drunk, he didn’t look high. He looked completely and utterly insane. And that’s a very, very scary thing to see.

2. Fortune

I’d been living alone for less than a week. I got some Chinese take-out and was eating in front of the TV. I finished my meal and cracked open the fortune cookie. It read “You will have a visitor tonight, lock your door.” There were no visitors that night, but the memory still haunts me.

3. On the Tracks

I watched in horror as this drunk seeming guy fell (maybe it was on purpose, but I don’t know) onto a commuter rail track just as the train was coming. The sound/sight of him getting run over (crunching, splattering, awful) has stayed with me for life as the scariest, brain scarring thing ever.

4. Hitting the Ground

I was on vacation in Ithaca with my boyfriend at the time.

We had literally, I’m talking 10 minutes, just gotten into town and stopped at a suspension bridge near Cornell’s campus. I’m terrified of heights and, so, my boyfriend was coaxing me step by step over the bridge. It was gorgeous and we stopped at the middle to take a picture.

On the side we had come from there was a parking lot with steps leading to the bottom of the gorge but on the far side there were hiking paths with no barrier.

A woman walked past us and offered to take a picture for us. We declined and she smiled and walked quickly to the far side of the bridge where she smoothly jumped off into the gorge. There was not a second of hesitation, it was almost like she expected the path to keep going.

The sound of a person hitting the ground from a jump like that sticks with you.

5. “It had been unlocked the whole time”

I was about 15 minutes from finishing the night shift at work when there was a massive crash on one of the windows in the office so I get up and go to check it out. Someone has thrown quite a sizable rock through one of the windows on the front of the building. This is made especially weird because I’m working in the industrial district at 11:30 at night with none of the other businesses open. I go back to my desk, put a quick call through to security to let them know and decide to head home. As I’m leaving the building I’m freaking myself out about it more and more and end up running to my car, getting in and taking off. I’m almost home and I’ve started to calm down a bit when I realise that I didn’t unlock my car when I got in. It had been unlocked the whole time. I do a quick check with my hand in the backseat for any possible murderers that might be hanging around there but there’s nothing there.

Fast forward 30 minutes: I’ve called a friend of mine who says he is out drinking so I decide I’m going to join him. I jump on my bicycle and start riding over. I’m doodling along the road on my bike, it’s a nice night and I’m in no big rush, just enjoying the moonlight when I hear someone riding behind me. I straighten up and stick to one side of the road. He passes me really slowly and, when he is right beside me, he shoots me a smile I can describe as purely fucking insane. I kind of flinch and am taken aback as he rides on. That’s when I realise. He is riding my mom’s bike.

Needless to say, I sprint the fuck home. When I get there, sure enough her bike is missing and one of my car’s doors is open. The back left one. I was driving, and had no need to open that door.

6. Falling

I was standing on my balcony when I saw some drunk guy flash in front of my eyes. I was on the tenth floor and apparently he fell over from the twenty-first floor. The split second he passed by, I got to see his look of fear, shock, disbelief and a whole bunch of other emotions before he fell to the floor in a thud and crack. You could just tell he was dead.

7. It took you 8 years?

After living in my house alone for 8 years, I came to the realization that I had closed a lot more doors than I had opened.

8. Camping Alone

A group of friends was staying at this remote cabin that one of my friend’s cousins owned. There were no roads leading to the cabin, and it was a good 3/4 day hike from where you parked the cars.

I couldn’t go at the same time as everyone else due to work obligations, so I decided to head up the same day but later. It would mean I would have to camp for a night by myself though (the latter part of the trail is too dangerous to be taken at night, especially by someone who doesn’t know it). I didn’t care, I was kind of looking forward to it as I’ve never camped alone before.

So I was in the middle of these woods when the sun went down. I got my camp set up in this small clearing. Probably 40 feet across. Get my camp fire going and pitch my small, one person tent. Do all that camping stuff like cooking hot dogs on a stick over the fire and s’mores. I probably stay up for a good 2 or 3 hours after dark (it was mid-autumn so the days were somewhat short).

The entire time I thought I heard shit moving in the woods on the edge of the clearing. I didn’t think anything of it at first cause the woods are full of animals, but as the night went on I realized that whatever it was was just circling the clearing over and over. Once I started paying attention it made 4 or 5 laps around before I decided to get up and investigate. The noise stopped as soon as I stooped up and I thought I heard some sounded going away through the woods.

I just shrug it off thinking it was some fox that was curious that got scared when I stood up. I decide its time to sleep, douse the fire and climb into my tent. I start to doze off and stay in that half asleep half awake state for a while. I normally hear weird shit when I’m in this state, so I don’t think much of it when I hear a voice.

Something wakes me all the way up though and I realize the voice is real and right outside my tent. Its just above a whisper and I’m not sure if it was another language or if they were just speaking English in such a way that I couldn’t understand.

I lay there for some time, I don’t know how long, listening and waiting for something to happen. There is just enough moonlight to light up the walls of the tent, so I can see when a hand presses into the wall of my tent down near my foot. This freaks me out and I sit up quickly. Who ever was outside of the tent tore ass out of there. Like running full sprint through the woods.

I get out of the tent and shine my flashlight around and see nothing. I was expecting there to be a bloody handprint on the tent, but nope. Didn’t sleep that night, packed up camp at first light that morning and booked it to the cabin.

9. Who’s There?

I was once in a hottub with some friends late at night, and we were all telling some stories. One of the guys told us this one, a story of a girl he knows (not sure if it’s true, but multiple people in the hottub who knew her verified it was true):

So one day, this girl was called over to babysit. She did it a lot for these people, so it was routine for her.

Anyways, she was told to put the kids to bed at 9, and she did. After she put the to bed, she started watching TV and doing homework, waiting for the parents to come home. But then, she started hearing some noises coming out of the basement, like pans falling and stuff. She just ignored it, and thought it was the washing machine or something. Anyways, a little later, she starts hearing the noises again. She decides to call the police, and tell them she was hearing noises coming out of the basement at the house she’s babysitting at.

The lady at the station told her there’s a patroller in her area, and that he’ll be at the house in about 20 minutes. Anyways, in about 5 minutes, she hears a knock on the door. She answers, and it’s a full swat team. She asked, “I thought they were just sending a patroller..” and one of the guys told her, “After you hung up the phone, we heard a second phone on the line hang up.” Ended up there was a man in the basement, listening to the conversation. The lady in the station waited and heard him hang up, then immediately sent the SWAT team to help. They went downstairs and caught him; he was wanted for multiple cases of rape.

10. Fucking Seagulls!

I saw this little bird walking on the street when suddenly a seagull grabbed it in it’s mouth. Seagull started to smash this helpless bird against the ground few times. After a while it ate the bird and I saw a bump on seagull’s neck like the bird was stuck in it’s throat. Then it flew off.

I was just standing there and said: “What the fuck, seagulls shouldn’t do that.”

Fuck seagulls.

11. Signals at Night

I was playing around with a radio once when I was a kid, just slowly spanning through the static trying to find a station. I had found an old television antenna, attached it to the side of our house and ran a wire out my window to it with an alligator clip attached to the radio antenna, allowing me to get a way broader range of signals.

So I’m sitting there, early in the morning (like 2am), slowly sweeping frequencies, and suddenly I get to this station that’s playing this very weird crackling sound. It sounded sort of like cracking knuckles, or maybe Rice Crispies cereal, but with a fixed, rhythmic pattern instead of being random. I sat there listening to it for a second, then it suddenly stopped and this faint voice says “It doesn’t work. We’re already dead. We’re already dead.”

It took a second for the weight of the words to hit me, but when they did I freaked the fuck out and almost threw the radio across the room. I’m pretty sure it was just someone messing around with a radio transmitter, but damn if it didn’t scare the shit out of me at the time.

12. “Don’t EVER do that again!”

My dad died of cancer the day I turned 16 after about two weeks in a coma. It was really fast – less than two months between diagnosis and death. He died in the house. (we had a hospice attendant and my mom was very good about seeing to him in those final days).

Anyway, a lot of weird shit happened after he passed, but the one that still freaks me out when I think about it happened about 12 hours before he took to bed for the last time. He was in our living room napping on the couch while my mom was in the kitchen cooking. No one else was home.

Suddenly, he jerked awake and was shouting for my mom in a very loud, agitated voice. Clearly angry with her. “Beverly! Don’t do that! Don’t EVER do that again!”

She ran into the room, alarmed and asked what he was talking about, and he said, “Don’t do that. Don’t walk past me like that in that long, black wig.”

Sometimes I think he saw death.

13. Night Dive

This was a few years ago on a night scuba dive. There were 8 of us in the group including our dive master and his assistant. We had just finished our dive and were gathered up in a circle ready to ascend and get out of the water when my dive master freezes. He takes his flashlight and pointing it outside our circle of divers he catches something circling us with the beam. Turns out it was a 12 foot long great white shark. At this point half of the group are trying to keep the shark illuminated as it circles us and remarkably everyone stayed calm. The only things going through my mind were iterations of these two thoughts, “don’t look like a yummy delicious fatty seal, and that I hope I taste terrible.” My dive master gets our attention and slowly puts his thumb up and then makes an upward motion. We all begin to ascend and the shark kept with us until we were maybe 10 feet from the surface. Then it turned off into the darkness and was gone. I did not go back into the ocean for about a week after that.

14. New House

My parents bought their first house back in 1972. It was a fixer-upper, but they decided to move in right away and fix things as time/money permitted.

Within a few days of moving in, the new neighbors came over to introduce themselves. They also let my parents know that the previous owners had moved out after a nasty divorce. They had lost their second baby from SIDS, and their relationship went downhill from there.

My parents were horrified, more so because they were newly pregnant and couldn’t imagine going through such a thing.

They eventually pretty much forgot all about it. Life went on. They were in love with their new life and their new house.

In preparation for the baby, they decided to wallpaper the nursery. Now, my Dad told my mom there was no need in wallpapering the inside of the closet, but she insisted. She was kneeling down, scraping off old paint inside of the closet when her eyes fell upon something that made her blood turn to ice.

Written in crayon, at about eye level for a kindergartner, in childish scrawl was: I KILLED THE BABY.

15. “I was the only one in the house”

Woke up one night around 1am, heard the shower was on… I first thought it was my brother, he works night shifts, so thought he had came home late and was in the shower… It went on for about half an hour until i got up and went to see wtf he was doing… No one was in the shower, my brother wasn’t home yet, i was the only one in the house. Still to this day, i have no idea how it turned on or who did it.. Almost 5 years later i still think about it and shit myself… Even writing this now i feel like turning every light on in the house…ahah whyyy do i do this to myself!!

16. Ghosts

I housesit for a family friend when she goes out of town. The woman who lives there is really into a bunch of spiritual stuff – new age stuff, reiki, etc. The very first time I was housesitting, I was outside watering the plants. I was the only one there and had closed the door after me. From the driveway where I was watering, I had a completely unobstructed view of the front door, the only door that was unlocked at the time. When I went back inside, there, on the little table next to the front door was a half eaten cookie. The table had been completely clear when I went outside and I hadn’t seen cookies that looked like that anywhere in the house. Nothing too creepy, but very puzzling and unsettling.

When the woman returns, I mention it to her and she laughs and says she “gets ghosts all the time.” I’m a fairly skeptical person, but honestly, ghosts were the best explanation.

The next time I was over, I was pooping around 10:30. The house itself is fairly old and creaks from time to time, but nothing too loud or disruptive. While I was pooping, there comes a single loud knock from the other side of the bathroom door. This wasn’t a little creak or pop from the house, it was a loud, determined rap on the door. It was enough to scare my poop back in for the rest of the night.

17. It happened “right behind the door”

One of the scariest things I ever heard was when I worked in retail. My stored used to do layaway and that was where I worked. Right by the layaway counter We had three bathrooms. A Men’s multi stall, a Women’s multi stall and a family bathroom. Well only the family bathroom had a door that locked all the others had the push/pull swing door. I was in the back cleaning up and I thought I hear screaming so I walked out front by the counter. I heard more screaming. I was not sure at first where it was coming from I ran and checked the men’s and women’s bathroom and they were empty and I still heard the crying and screaming. It was coming from the family bathroom. I banged on the door but the yelling, screaming crying kept going on. It sounded like a child and I had no idea what was going on. I called for a manager because I had no way of getting in the door since it was locked. This whole time there is still crying, screaming banging. After several attempts of trying to open the door we called 911. We had no idea what we going on but it didn’t sound good. I think about fifteen minutes at this point, although it felt forever. Then the sound check stopped. No more banging, crying nothing. We banged on the door until the police came.When they finally did they had to kick the door in since we had no key. As we all stood around and looked in all we saw was blood all over the place.

We were not really sure what happened at first but the police told us to back up and that is when they pulled out a lady and a child. A bloody child, maybe 3. We all just stood there in shock. The child was not moving, we thought he was dead because of all the blood. They took the lady away in handcuffs and the child to the hospital.

We all had to give statements. Later my manager told me what happened. She just snapped becayse he wouldn’t stop crying and she just had enough and did whatever she could to make him stop. The child did live. I was sure he was dead but he wasn’t she had just knocked him out from hitting him so hard.

This story is not scary in the ghost sense but for that to happen right behind the door and not know what is going on or be able to help was pretty scary to me.

18. “Something in the middle of the woods catches my eye”

Well, I’ll never forget this one…

My wife and I used to live in a townhome that backed to some woods. We both took off work one day to get some things done in the yard, cutting the grass, weeding our large flower beds, laying mulch etc.

Our yard wasn’t big; it took about two full grass clipping bags. I would walk a couple of feet into the woods and dump them in a pile.

As I’m walking back to empty the second bag, something in the middle of the woods catches my eye. Something out of place and it’s moving.

I crouched down to get a better look and I just froze. At first, I could make out a pair of shoes just swaying back and forth and then was able to see the legs and body of a teenager. There in the middle of the woods was a teenage boy who had hung himself. Next to the tree, I could see a skateboard leaning up against it.

I yelled for my wife to call the police and started running back to try and save him but he was gone. His body was limp and his head was was just slumped over. His dark scruffy hair was slowly blowing in the breeze.

The cops came and quickly cut him down and they were gone.

As it turns out, he was having problems getting along with his parents and this is what he decided to do.

19. Organ Music

Years ago, I lived in a townhouse above the an old couple that were the landlords. This was in the historic section of Albany, NY near the park. The landlords were in their sixties, maybe early seventies. This place actually had a plaque on the front of it saying it was built in 1880-something and that some rich state senator had lived there. There’s places like this all over the area that had been subdivided and rented out.

I lived there for a year and every now and then, always while I was trying to sleep, I would hear faint, organ music accompanied by some rhythmic banging sounds. I always have slept with a fan to drown out any ambient noise and sleep better. This music was just…floating through my room. No one was above me. Just the old people who went to bed at nine below me. I would get up and try to find the source of the sounds but it just seemed like it was everywhere and nowhere.

Since I never heard any music or anything from any other room, and I never heard that music during the day, I concluded that it was the ghosts of previous occupants that had lived there decades before. This actually affected my decision to live there again when my lease was up. The old couple even offered to knock $50 a month off the rent if I resigned. That would have amounted to nearly a month of total rent over the course of a year. I thanked them, but declined, opting instead to live in a newer place.

Flash forward a couple of years. My friend is having a party. He invites some coworkers that he used to work with at the state. I’m talking to one dude about all the places in Albany I had been in. He’s lived in several, too. After some conversation, we find out that one of his friends used to live in that exact same apartment before me. I’ve never told anyone about the music and banging I would hear there but I just have to ask this guy if his friend ever said anything about the place being haunted. His eyes light up when I ask him.

“You’re not going to believe this!” he says and starts thumbing through the contacts list in his phone. He dials his friend. When the guy answers, he gives him a brief overview of the conversation we had been having then hands me the phone.

“What’s up, man? Yeah, I lived there in 2003. You heard the music, too? That was the landlords having sex below you. I swear to God. I actually asked about them about it the morning after I had heard it for the tenth time. The old man sheepishly explained that he was banging his old lady. He apologized and said they’d keep it down. The funny thing is, it seemed to get louder and louder over the last couple months I lived there. It was almost like they wanted me to hear.”

The mystery was solved. That organ music I had heard was literally organ music that the old people would have sex to. Somehow, that was creepier than it being ghosts.

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People Share Embarrassing Moments That They Nearly Stopped (But Decided Not To)

Would you stop a friend before they made a complete ass out of themselves, or would you let the chips fall where they may?

Personally, I couldn’t do that to a friend. Maybe a foe.

You’re about to see a lot of chips falling because these 12 people just couldn’t help but watch these embarrassing moments unfold.

12. Tight fit

I was sitting in a car in a Home Depot parking lot watching these two guys tie drywall to the top of their car. They were running the rope through the driver and passenger side window. With the door closed. So, I watched.

Of course they got done, went to open the doors… And couldn’t open them. They had to jump through the window.

One of the guys was a short little fat guy. He hopped into the window and got stuck. I could only see the ass end as he struggled to get in.

The thought of him wedged in the window kicking his feet to get in still cracks me up.

11. That’s a bold strategy Cotton. Let’s see if it pays off.

My colleague who had a crush on one of our higher-ups said he wanted to text her about a basketball game we were watching that we knew she’d be interested in because she brought it up at a meeting.

When he asked what he should say I jokingly said “What are you wearing?” thinking he would understand it was a joke, like any other normal human being.

Instead he started texting it.

I just sat staring then asked “No..you didn’t?” He replied “Oh. Probably shouldn’t have said that.” We waited for her response which was “?” then he came up with “Which jersey? Duh.”

She was very nice about it. Didn’t socialize with him much after that, being married, our boss, older and all…

Probably could have been fired. Michael Scott social skills.

10. Putting them on blast

Not long ago I spent 9 months on an aircraft carrier for deployment. About 6 months in the days were all looking the same so anything for a laugh was welcome.

One afternoon I visited a bathroom near my workstation to find a friend (and the walls and ceiling) dripping wet. He said the toilet had “exploded” in his face when he flushed it. Now, it’s not uncommon for pipes to break and I had a small chuckle at his misfortune. It wouldn’t even have been memorable had it ended there.

A while later I returned (trying to stay hydrated) and someone was in the stall mopping the place up. Again, nothing memorable, i take care of my business and leave but think “wow they fixed that quickly.”

Back again, after a quick drain I’m washing my hands and see someone I don’t really know enter the stall in question. At this point it dawns on me the average repair time for issues like this is usually weeks, not hours. I expected to see tape labeling the stall “secured” but here was this guy, taking a leak in a mopped dry stall. The thought to warn him crosses my mind…… but I just have to know. I need this.

I take a step to my left as the trickle stops. The metal clink of the handle is immediately followed by the rush of a fire hose at full blast. Water sprays clear out onto the mirror I had been looking through, against the stall walls and pounds against the ceiling. When the blast ends, and the bottom of the stall looks like water fall. I hear soggy boots slowly turn around with a squishy “slosh” and out steps a dripping Marine in a drenched uniform.

We exchanged surprised glances as I suppress my laughter. To break the silence he says “well, that sucked,” and slowly sloshed out of the bathroom.

Could have stopped it, but it made my day/week/month/deployment.

9. Shibby Shibby

This one is reversed as it was my friend laughing maniacally while it happened to me.

My college roommate used to work at this chicken restaurant called chicken express. We would go eat at a location close to campus (this was not the location that he actually worked at) pretty often cause its delicious.

So one time he tells me, “hey man when you order the tenders make sure you say ‘shibby shibby’ after your order. That’s the code to tell them you work at Chicken E and they’ll hook you up with like 20 tenders.” Maybe it was wishful thinking or just plain stupidity, but i totally believed him.

We drove through the drive-thru and he was in the back seat. The conversation with the employee went like this:
“Um I’ll have 2 number ones with mashed potatoes… shibby shibby”
“Okay 2 number ones with mashed potatoes and a what was the last thing?”
“…shibby shibby?”
“Having trouble hearing you.. a what now?”
“…shibby..shib…by”
“Sir I have no idea what you’re trying to say, do you wanna pull around?”

At which point I look back and see my friend almost turning blue from trying to hold his laughter in. He totally lost it and I just drove off…

8. She’s not going to have a good time.

I was at a casino buffet once standing in the sushi section waiting for my turn.

This old white lady cuts the line and takes a huge dollup of wasabi and puts it on her plate full of Mexican food.

I can only assume she thought it was guacamole, which for some reason, they kept next to sushi.

In the moment, I felt she deserved what was coming to her.

7. Heavy petting

It happened in high school while watching a educational movie.

We were two classes tucked into a small classroom to watch it together. So people had to sit on the desks as there wasn’t enough chairs. I sat next to my friend’s girlfriend on a desk, with my friend on a chair in front of us.

She strokes her hand through his his hair, he takes his hand behind his back, and proceeds to stroke her leg.

Only thing was, it was my leg.

I poked his girlfriend to let her know what was going on, we both knew what had to be done without uttering the words. We let this go on for a good 5 minutes, constantly fighting the urge to laugh out loud.

Then I slowly pulled my trouser leg up. He stroked my very furry leg for about half a second before he realized something was very wrong.

I’ll never forget his face when he turned around to see what was going on.

6. Flirty McFlirtyson

My wife and I decided to hang out with some friends one night and we noticed a new guy joined the group. He seemed nice but a little off (turned out to be a total stalker who always carried a backpack, we nicknamed it the rape kit).

Anyways, we were playing some games and this guy manages to cut his hand wide open. Since no one really knows they guy I offer to take him to the hospital. My wife and I jump in the car and I let him sit in the front seat. He seems super happy about my wife riding along with us and starts chatting with her.

I keep peeking in the mirror realizing he’s total interested in my wife and my wife is trying to keep a straight face. She lets him flirt trying to be nice and not embarrass him as I drive in silence until we get to the hospital.

He hops out and is trying to make plans with my wife to go out to dinner or a movie and she’s dropping hints like flashing her ring and telling him she’s busy. Finally he’s like fine if you don’t want to go out, just say so. I laugh and tell him I don’t let my wife go out on dates without me.

He got beet red and told us he’d find his own way home. I think I enjoyed watching the boost of confidence it gave my wife the most. I can tell her she’s amazing all the time, but stuff like that is proof.

5. Instant karma’s gonna get you…

Last summer we went camping, and when I tried to use one of the campground coin operated showers I was disappointed when I put in a dollar and it didn’t work. As I waited for the one that DID work a guy came up behind me and said, “hey, it looks like that shower room is vacant, are you waiting for this one in particular?” I explained that I had tried it but that it was out of order, so there was now two of us waiting for one shower room.

Just minutes later a woman and three kids comes by, looks at us waiting in line and makes a dash for the vacant shower room. One of the kids looked at us and quietly asks if there’s a line and she responds “Shhhhhhh”, and the four of them go in and switch the door to “occupied”.

Maybe I’m the one who should be embarrassed by not telling her. Undressing yourself and three kids, inserting quarters that you’ll never get back only to have to re-dress everyone and sheepishly get in the line you should have been in to begin with is probably a bit of an overkill for the crime of seeing an opportunity and taking it.

Anyway, she was there in an even longer line when I got out and glared at me as I went back to my family’s camping spot. It definitely made me feel less bad about allowing her to go on a karmic adventure.

4. With friends like this…

So in college I became friends with this girl who was kind of a world traveler right when I transferred in. She was a part of the international group that welcomed all of the international students and shortly after invited me to a party for all the international students.

I’m meeting lots of new people and there is a really stunning girl from Italy that I was interested in talking to. My friend encouraged me to go open with “Bella figa” when talking with her. “Beautiful girl” was the meaning.

It had Bella in it so I thought what the hell. I make my way to her, introduce myself, and say those magical words. The beautiful Italian girl gave me the most repulsed look and walked away.

I turn around and my friend is laughing hysterically.

It translates to “you have a beautiful pussy.”

3. Chair Force One

While waiting for a briefing, a room full of Air Force airmen intentionally sat in every chair other than a damaged one they knew would dip very far back when someone sat in it.

I arrived and the room was full. The anticipation was palpable. I already knew about the chair – I thought everyone did – so I sat in the only other one available and realized the last person absent at that point was a generally disliked Senior NCO (a higher-up sergeant for those of who you don’t know).

As a junior NCO, I should have taken the initiative to inform said SNCO about the chair when he arrived…and for a second, I was going to tell him.

Then I didn’t. haha

All the airmen erupted in laughter when it happened and it took every ounce of fortitude for me not to, as well. I was definitely LOL on the inside, though. I’m not proud. haha

2. Clitoris!!

Teacher in class reading the review questions from of the end of the textbook chapter. One guy was sort of falling asleep on left side of the room.

The teacher loved calling on people he knew weren’t paying attention. So he calls on him to answer. I don’t remember what the question was.

The guy jumps up in his seat and mumbles to his friend sitting behind him asking what the answer is since he obviously didn’t even hear the question. Without hesitation his friend whispers, “Answer is B, clitoris.”

And as fast as he can he yells out “B. Clitoris.” And once he realizes what he just said sinks lower in his chair than I thought possible and turns fire-engine red, all while swearing at his friend behind him. I laughed so hard I cried.

The teacher just looked at him and pretended he didn’t hear his answer and asked him to give it again. Which he obviously by then figured out what the actual multiple choice options were and gave one of those.

We knew his friend was going to give him the wrong answer and man am I glad everyone let it happen.

1. “I was a 19 year old girl, and even I was grabbing my crotch when I heard it.”

I had a friend in college that dared people to kick him in the balls after he’d had too much to drink. We’ll call him Dave.

Part of his party trick was to keep a straight face the whole time. His success rate had given him a false sense of confidence, so he just kept egging people on. Keep in mind that the ball kickers were usually drunk freshman who could barely put any power into it.

Then one night, he decides to up the ante and ask one of the school athletes in attendance (we’ll call him Ricky.) I knew Ricky played soccer, and though I’m usually the buzzkill that asks everyone to be doubly sure they “really wanna do this,” I decided to let Dave go for it.

Ricky, who was also completely sober, accepted the challenge. He took a deep breath, pretended like he was readying himself for kick off and took aim at Dave’s package. What unfolded after that moment continues to pull at my heartstrings.

The moment that Ricky’s foot met Dave’s crotch elicited a look of horror from every man in the room. Ricky had taken Dave’s dare seriously, and his foot landed with so much force that it was reminiscent of the sound that a boxing glove makes on a bag except with a tiny squish. I was a 19 year old girl, and even I was grabbing my crotch when I heard it.

Dave quietly excused himself, while Ricky apologized profusely. After Dave hadn’t been seen for awhile, I went looking for him and found him lying in a ball on the bathroom floor. He had been there for about half an hour. He looked at me and said “I think I need help.”

Ricky, who was still feeling guilty, was also sober and I asked him to drive us to the hospital. They did the whole nine yards for Dave, including an ultrasound. I waited outside the room, but I could tell that the ultrasound tech was trying to make small talk, so while he was imaging Dave’s balls and shaft, I could hear him talking about a Peter Gabriel album.

The doctor said that Ricky’s foot hit Dave’s crotch with such force that it was as if he had sustained a stab wound to his genitals. He spent the rest of the year with a banana hammock underneath his jeans.

The only funny part was that, since he dressed like a generic hipster, he had to buy new pants so they would fit over it.

tldr; don’t dare people to kick you in the balls

We know you can choose a lot of sites to read, but we want you to know that we’re thankful you chose Did You Know.

You rock! Thanks for reading!

The post People Share Embarrassing Moments That They Nearly Stopped (But Decided Not To) appeared first on UberFacts.

Take a Look at These Photos of Celebrities Before They Were Famous

One of the biggest drawbacks of life in this digital age is that anything you post will stay online indefinitely. People can easily dig up the embarrassing photos of your youth, before you understood style and/or fully grew into your own body.

The digital age also makes it a lot easier to share embarrassing photos of days gone by, as long as someone else does the work of digging up those photos from physical archives. Which is what we did for you with these 10 celebrity photos from before they were household names. So, all you’ve got to do is enjoy and share.

#1. Elon Musk

Photo Credit: Instagram,elonmusk

Who comes to mind when you think of the most innovative minds in the world today? That list is bound to include South African businessman Elon Musk. The entrepreneur is the founder of Tesla, Inc. and SpaceX, and is one of the most successful and wealthiest people on the planet.

He was born in Pretoria, South Africa in 1971 to a South African father and a Canadian mother. He was frequently bullied as a youngster. Musk started on his career path early and taught himself computer programming at the age of 12. He moved to Canada to attend college at the age of 17. After earning his college degree, he started a Ph.D. program at Stanford but dropped out after only two days to focus on a career as an entrepreneur.

Musk has been the brains behind many projects throughout the years but it is his more recent work that has garnered him more attention. He launched SpaceX in 2002. His Tesla, Inc. endeavors promise to (hopefully) revolutionize the auto industry. Tesla’s designs for passenger cars as well as heavy trucks are revolutionary and aerodynamic. Time will tell if Musk’s various ideas pan out, or just remain the concepts of a very imaginative individual.

15+ Real, Terrifying Stories That Prove You Aren’t Even Safe At Home

Our homes may be our safe havens, but these AskReddit users tell stories that will make you check under your bed twice tonight… and tomorrow night… and the next night… and…

Photo Credit: creepypasta

#1. The King Has Returned

“One morning I opened my eyes and my daughter is staring at my face and says softly in a monotone, emotionless voice “The king has returned”, turns around and walks out of the room. ‘WHAT THE FLUFF DOES THAT MEAN? WHAT KING?’. It bothered the crap out of me. I threw off the covers and ran into the living room ready to do some kung-fu fightin’ in my boxers…she was watching The Lion King.”

Photo Credit: funnyjunk

#2. I Speak Fluent Whale

“A few years ago, I was living in a house with my brother and 4 or 5 other people. He had just finished his shift at Applebee’s and got home around 2am. No one else was in the house (we had all gone out drinking), so he was alone in a dark, 100-year old house. He put his iPod into its speaker/dock, and went into the kitchen to get a drink. Suddenly, he hears a noise. It’s a low, not-quite-growling sound, but definitely organic. It stops. He hears it again, this time higher in pitch, with the sound fluctuating slightly. He slowly creeps through the house, trying to find the source. Every couple of seconds there’d be another long, drawn-out noise…sometimes low-pitched, sometimes high-pitched. Eventually he started wondering if a sick/dying/rabid raccoon had somehow got in through a window and was in someone’s closet. He grabs a broom (for “defense”) and keeps tracking the sound. Eventually he’s able to narrow it down to either his bedroom or the room across the hall from his. He stops and listens. He hears the sound again, this time definitely coming from his own bedroom (where he was just a few minutes before). He lunges through the door whipping the broom around Donatello from TMNT. Turns out there was a MP3 of “whale songs” on his iPod, and he had accidentally hit “Play” on shuffle mode when he placed it into the speaker/dock. Still though, can you imagine hearing whale songs in your dark house at 2am?”