Category: love

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Funny Tweets About Things That People Think Are Better Than Sex

Sex is great…but have you seen these tweets?

People are weighing in on social media about what they think is as good or better than doing the deed, knocking the boots, doing the horizontal mamba…or whatever you want to call it.

Let’s dive into these and get inside the heads of these folks…

1. That is SEXY.

2. Very satisfying.

3. EROTIC.

4. Not yet…

5. Way better than sex.

6. What a relief.

7. This is my space.

8. NEVER.

9. Might not be able to beat this one.

10. This has to be a fantasy.

11. Meetings are pretty brutal.

12. That’s impossible.

13. Made a new friend.

14. Showed them…

15. Ahhhh, I’m spent.

Those are pretty hilarious.

Why don’t you share your own version in the comments…we know you have a few of these on your mind!

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People Share Their Funny #ChristmasBreakupExcuses

A lot of people get dumped around the holidays for one reason or another. The pressure, the fighting, family issues. There are a lot of potential excuses for doing the deed.

These folks shared funny, punny, probably-not-real-but-who-can-say #ChristmasBreakupExcuses for all of us to enjoy. Ho Ho Ho!

1. I see what you did there.

2. I knew this one was coming.

3. Not a good thing to hear.

4. Zing!

5. That’s pretty good.

6. Oh, no!

7. It’s hard to explain.

8. Sounds likely.

9. This is legit.

10. Fun with words! Oh, and we’re done.

11. It’s Opposite Day.

12. Showed her.

13. Classy move.

14. That’s harsh.

15. This is a good one to finish with.

They’re Grinches! All of ’em, I tell ya!

Have you ever been on the giving or receiving end of a holiday breakup? Tell us about it in the comments.

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Married Folks Should Enjoy These Tweets About How ‘Date Night’ Changes After You Get Hitched

Do you emember those date nights before you got married? Those evenings were hot, sultry, and full of romance.

Now that you’ve tied the knot? Maybe not so hot anymore…

Sleep! Now that’s exciting!

Enjoy these hilarious tweets about how date night…kind of fizzles out after you get married.

1. So happy together.

2. Sounds like a blast.

3. Hmmmmm…

4. In sync.

5. That’s a date, right?

6. Maybe in 12 years.

7. That is HOT.

8. Very romantic.

9. Now you know.

10. Oh, how things change.

11. Doesn’t seem equal.

12. Time to get $1.50 off.

13. Pay attention to the tenses.

14. Can we go home yet?

15. A picnic at home.

Tell us about your last date night with your spouse.

We want to hear the good, the bad, and the ugly!

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15 Tweets About the Surprises You Get When You Move in with Your Significant Other

The joys of moving in with someone you love…or someone you’ll at least love for a little while. Maybe? I don’t know, every situation is different, but it does seem like there’s a whole lot of growing pains and unexpected twists and turns when two people move in together.

If you’ve been through this experience, these tweets will be very relatable.

1. Sounds awesome!

2. How romantic.

3. Your SO is gonna love it.

4. Might have to accidentally “lose” that.

5. The things you’ll learn!

6. Wow…

7. A real treat.

8. Go outside if you must.

9. Just like paradise.

10. It’s all about the books.

11. A wee bit obsessed.

12. Used to just be storage.

13. Hope you have a big place.

14. Now she knows.

15. And after the breakup, too…

Tell us about your funny, interesting, and painful stories about when YOU lived with a significant other.

Let’s see if we can top each other!

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Married People Share Why They and Their Spouse Sleep in Different Rooms

By the sounds of this article, it sure seems like a lot of married people sleep in separate rooms. But what are their reasons?

In case you’ve been wondering why folks out there do this, people on AskReddit shared their personal stories.

Do you do this? If so, let us know why in the comments.

1. The woman next door.

“My grandparents do this. My grandfather built a small apartment on the second floor of their house. They do it because they have different sleep schedules and in general they spend much of the day apart because they like it that way. But they always eat lunch and dinner together, and my grandfather loves to listen to her soft footsteps throughout the day. He calls her “the woman next door.” It’s really cute.”

2. Saved their marriage.

“My parents do this.

My Mom likes to sleep with the TV on, my Dad snores and steals sheets.

My mother claims sleeping separately saved their marriage.”

3. Movin’ out.

“My husband snores so badly. He’s done two sleep studies and used every nasal strip and spray on the market. Nothing helped. We were honestly on the brink of divorce because of how little sleep we were getting. But then our kids wanted to get bunk beds and share a room. My husband moved into the spare room, making it his own, also getting his super firm mattress he prefers.

Honestly, it saved our marriage. Sleep is incredibly important. When you are well rested, little things don’t blow up into big things. It seems odd, even to us, but we try not worry too much about it. I’d argue we’re more connected now than we’ve ever been.”

4. Snoring drove them apart.

“Girlfriend’s parents do this. They both snore and do it to get away from each other’s snoring. I didn’t think it was that bad until they talked about having to sleep in the same bed during their trip in Europe. They were at each other’s throats because if one fell asleep, the other couldn’t.”

5. Part-timers.

“During the Summer I move to another room we call “the wind tunnel”. Basically I have a ceiling fan going almost 24/7 and a window fan above the bed I run from 7pm-8am.

She has allergies and easily gets runny nose and sneezes from any moving air. My body temp will skyrocket and I’ll sweat like crazy in a room devoid of moving air. So she sleeps in a stuffy no air movement master bedroom and I sleep soundly in the Wind Tunnel.

During the winter I move back, cause then I become the ultimate body warmer for her.”

6. Runs in the family.

“My parents slept in separate beds as did my great grandparents. For my great grandparents it was a comfort thing. Grandma didn’t like not being able to move around the bed at will. She and grandpa loved each other dearly and she passed not long after he did because she missed him so much.

For my parents it was a couple things. As my dad aged his sleep cycle went weird. He would be able to sleep a couple hours and then be up half the night and fall asleep again about the time my mom was getting up for work. Also my mom has sleep apnea and uses a cpap. It made hella noise back then. Dad was half deaf and the sound still bothered him. Out of respect for each other they decided it was better to have separate bedrooms.”

7. Sleep noises

“Sometimes I have to sleep on the couch cuz I get hypersensitive to sound, especially human sound, and don’t like the noise his whole existence makes. He gets it luckily.”

8. You’re the culprit.

“Lol. I do this. I am an absolute terrible person to share a bed with. I snore like a passing semi truck and apparently (I’m told) flail wildly in my sleep. When we first got married I kept waking up to an empty bed. She would join me for an hour until I was asleep, then retreat to the couch. After a week or two I got fed up and just went to the couch first. Then started several months of us trading off for the couch. Eventually I just went and bought a twin mattress and tossed it in the office. That became my bed. And when we got a bigger house, I just setup in a separate room.”

9. Makes sense.

“Different sleep cycles and work schedules. He wakes up 3 hours before me.”

10. GTFO.

“We blended two households. His bedroom was fully furnished and the furniture and closet were full. It made sense for my stuff to go in a different bedroom. We started out sleeping in one room or the other but I realized pretty quickly that, if I ever wanted to get a full night’s sleep, it wasn’t going to be in the same bed with him. I’ve been known to call him a sweating, snoring, slant sleeping sonofabitch after a night of his sweating, snoring, and slant sleeping. We do a “your place or mine” thing for nonsleeping activities but GTFO when it’s sleepy time.”

11. Spicy.

“My wife has MS – one of the primary issues she has is vertigo. when i’m in the bed with her, the motion of my breathing/heartbeat/movement really fucks with her vertigo while she sleeps.

Also, i snore, so an isolated coil mattress wouldn’t quite do it(they aren’t total isolation, either, you feel movement) or two beds in one room.

Also, honestly, it spices up the sex life. Adds an element of pursuit and some illicit atmosphere to it, we’re sneaking around the house to each other’s beds to bang.”

12. Did you get into a fight?

“Sleep cycles and she violently tosses around. I’ve been asked by my commander if I got into a fight when I showed up to duty with a black eye.”

13. Not gonna happen.

“Spouse snores, two 60 pound dogs, and a queen size bed. No room for me and I need dead silence.”

14. Need different temps.

“My grandma and grandad do. She likes it freezing and he likes it boiling.”

15. Sounds like a plan to me.

“My step mother’s parents took this to a new level.

He built a second house next door. They lived next to each other for 20 years before they both passed in a short amount of time.

It seemed very odd to me, but it worked for them. At least from an outside perspective. I know images never reflect reality.”

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A Single Dad Adopted a Baby With Down Syndrome After She Was Rejected by 20 Families

This is an adorable story about the power of love and how important relationships are in our lives. An Italian man named Luca Trapanese adopted a beautiful little girl named Alba when she was only 13 months old.

Alba has Down Syndrome and was rejected by 20 potential families before Trapanese came along to give the girl a new life. Trapanese has been working for and volunteering with organizations that focus on children with special needs since he was a teenager. He’s wanted to be a father for many years, but seeing that he is still single, Trapanese decided to go the route of adoption.

In July 2017, Trapanese was given permission to adopt a child even though he was still single, under one condition: he had to adopt a special needs child who had previously been rejected by other families. It was then that he became aware of little Alba. When he first met her, the connection was instantaneous. He said, “When I first held her in my arms, I was overcome with joy. I felt she was my daughter straight away. It was the first time I held a newborn baby. Before that moment, I had always been scared. But, when I first held Alba, I knew I was ready to be her dad.”

Trapanese said, “Alba revolutionized my life and everything revolves around her. She brought me happiness and a sense of fulfillment. I am proud to be her dad. I wanted her to be my daughter.”

A beautiful story, don’t you think?

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15 Funny Jokes About Being Single and Ready to Mingle

Being single has its ups and downs.

And it also depends on what kind of person you are. Let’s just put it this way: being in a relationship consists of the good, the bad, and the ugly.

That’s why being single is the best! Sometimes…

Let’s take a look at some folks who are livin’ the single life.

1. Who won?

2. Make your move.

3. It’s not going well.

4. That’s a fun game, isn’t it?

5. A sad state of affairs.

6. All kinds of trash.

7. That was your topic of conversation?

8. Back away. Slowly.

9. You’ll be back on there in no time.

10. Seems like a good move.

11. That’s pretty much the only way to make it work.

12. Two sides of the coin.

13. Get away from me.

14. Imagine that…

15. What does touch feel like?

Are you single? Dating? Married?

Give us an update in the comments and let’s see who’s living their best lives!

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Enjoy Some of the Best Sex and Dating Tweets from the Last Decade

Relationships can be complicated, dramatic, and messy, but they can also be wonderful and fulfilling at the same time.

Real talk: we’re all obsessed with sex and love, so why deny it?

Let’s enjoy some tweets that went viral in a huge way.

1. There’s a scoreboard.

2. Looking to impress exactly one person.

3. Very specific.

4. Sounds very proper.

5. Thanks a lot…

6. Not like that.

7. A real romantic.

8. We’re really doing it!

9. You’re pretty much single.

10. You’re in too deep now.

11. Are you uncomfortable yet?

12. Yup, it’s dead.

13. Looking for some to do NOTHING with.

14. Well, this is a first.

15. Three stages of life.

Funny stuff, no doubt about it!

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Cuffing Season Is Here…Let’s Check out Some Tweets About It

Are you aware of “cuffing season“? It’s when people who are usually single or unattached get into a relationship during those long, cold, gray months of fall and winter.

Who doesn’t want someone to snuggle with someone by a fire when it’s freezing outside, right?

Enjoy these cuffing season tweets and keep warm out there!

1. It’s gonna be cold!

2. Getting into a bad relationship?

3. It’s worth it, right?

4. There you go!

5. “I need a place to crash…”

6. I thought the same thing.

7. The more you know.

8. Here comes the storm.

9. A sad reminder.

10. You know you’re gonna do it…

11. He’s not having it.

12. Here come the fireworks.

13. Who can resist?

14. We have a winner!

15. She knows what she wants.

Are you one of these folks? Are you a cuffer?

Share you stories in the comments!

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People Share Weird Things They Do with Their Significant Others

People are strange. Really strange, actually.

Especially when people are in relationships. Then they get really weird with all the little quirks that they share with a significant other.

AskReddit users share the weird things they like to do with their boyfriends, girlfriends, spouses, etc.

Share yours in the comments!

1. The Kiss Monster.

“We have a ‘Kiss Monster’ (spoiler alert: it’s me with a blanket over my head), that visits my SO every now and gives him loads of kisses before slinking off again into the night.

We have never acknowledged that I am in fact, the Kiss Monster.”

2. Okay…

“We do ‘inverted kissing’. Instead of kissing the lips, one of us surprises the other by opening their mouth big and covering the other party’s puckered up lips.

It’s like kissing the void. It feels really fucking uncomfortable and it’s hilarious. She always does it to me when I’m expecting a kiss.

Bonus points if you can kiss the void for over 5 seconds or have your open mouth over their mouth for a long time. We discovered this when I jokingly opened my mouth during a kiss and she started laughing and going ‘noooo’.”

3. Welcome home!

“My wife usually gets home before I do from work and as soon as I enter she comes to me and we both do a little dance while singing an bollywood song “Mera Piya Ghar Aaya” (My love has reached home). And, then we hug and greet.

Its a little thing which has turned into some sort of ritual. We love it!

One day I rang the bell, before she unlocked the door she asks.. “whats the password?”

I replied in a low tone “Mera Piya Ghar Aaya” in the same tune. She was expecting me to say something “clever” but she enjoyed the song even more because I have a bad voice.”

4. I love to annoy you!

“We often just stand in each other’s way for no reason other than to be annoying.”

5. Bread games.

“Well, I just wrapped her up in a brown blanket, rolled her back and forth in bed and told her “Shhhhh be bread, it’s okay, just be bread, shhhh, loaf-girlfriend, it’s okay to become bread” while she cackled and screamed “I DON’T WANT TO BE BREAD.””

6. Just like pro wrestling.

“My ex used to want me to body slam her onto the bed all the time.”

7. True artists.

“Penis drawings. I don’t remember who started it but we hide the same penis drawing for the other one to find. She put it in my suitcase when I went away on a hunting trip with my buddies and I had to explain why I had a crudely drawn wang on a sheet of notebook paper packed with my socks.

When I returned I hid in the bottom of her underwear drawer and it took her a few months to find it. She then hid it somewhere and I haven’t found it yet, that was five years ago. She told me I’ll find it eventually but I’m afraid of where it might be. I have told her that if she dies before me that she is getting buried with it and I win.”

8. Let’s see who’s more dominant.

“We sneak up on each other and bite each other on the neck to assert “dominance”. We use the “dominance” to win trivial arguments like who do our animals love more.”

9. Time to clean up.

“While we’re in the shower he’ll cover his body with soap, wrap his arms around me, and then go up and down really fast so he’s rubbing the soap all over me and cleaning me off. We call this “Carl wash” cause its like a car wash for me, but my nick name is Carl n he’s washing me off hehe.”

10. A decade in the making.

“We have a mating dance that has gotten increasingly elaborate in the decade we have been together. Example moves: slapping one’s own butt, moving one’s arms like a choo choo train, one handed clapping.

Some of the moves go out of fashion year to year, but we have a significant repertoire.”

11. Gross and weird.

“Sometimes he puts his mouth over my nose and blows, causing me to make a horrific, monstrous sound of air coming through my nasals and out of my mouth. We call this The Exorcism.

It’s gross and weird but I love that we can be gross and weird together.”

12. Would you kindly…

“We have the WYK rule. If one of us says, “would you kindly blah blah blah” the other one must, no matter what, do that thing. There is zero negotiation. It’s mostly whipped out for benign stuff, sometimes for very silly stuff, but occasionally used in serious situations. It’s equal parts silly, fake outage, and a deep, committed trust. It only works because we trust each other not to abuse WYK or use it for evil.”

13. It gets intense?

“Sometimes when I answer the phone I become Detective Tony Pepperoni, and he’s Cheesy Steve and the Saucy Boys. There’s never really any warning, it just kinda happens and it gets pretty intense.”

14. This is a real competition.

“Straight up wrestle for fun. Not like sexy way or the cute let the other one win way, but like actual competition.”

15. This is kinda cool

What started as a simple whistle to get the others attention has turned into a full blown second language consisting of nothing but whistles. ‘Hello’ is a simple high tone whistle followed by a slightly lower tone whistle. To properly say ‘hello’ back you must respond with an even higher pitched whistle sequence or a slightly lower pitched sequence.

‘Warning:danger or distress’ is three high pitched whistles. A sad whistle is one that starts high then quickly goes to a low tone.

We’ve legit had phone conversations where we whistle at each other and laugh for 10 minutes. We thought we were insane (still are but) until realizing there are cultures out there that whistle poetry to each other and that whistling may have been the first way peeps communicated with each other.

Edit: alright well this blew up. The best way to describe it as some of you have is R2D2 language, which is hilariously accurate

The list of whistling we do is never-ending and the language becomes more advanced by the day, but my favorite whistle is ‘accomplishment whistle’ which is a high pitched ‘doo-doo DOO’ or the spooky whistle demonstrated here

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