People are strange. Really strange, actually.
Especially when people are in relationships. Then they get really weird with all the little quirks that they share with a significant other.
AskReddit users share the weird things they like to do with their boyfriends, girlfriends, spouses, etc.
Share yours in the comments!
1. The Kiss Monster.
“We have a ‘Kiss Monster’ (spoiler alert: it’s me with a blanket over my head), that visits my SO every now and gives him loads of kisses before slinking off again into the night.
We have never acknowledged that I am in fact, the Kiss Monster.”
2. Okay…
“We do ‘inverted kissing’. Instead of kissing the lips, one of us surprises the other by opening their mouth big and covering the other party’s puckered up lips.
It’s like kissing the void. It feels really fucking uncomfortable and it’s hilarious. She always does it to me when I’m expecting a kiss.
Bonus points if you can kiss the void for over 5 seconds or have your open mouth over their mouth for a long time. We discovered this when I jokingly opened my mouth during a kiss and she started laughing and going ‘noooo’.”
3. Welcome home!
“My wife usually gets home before I do from work and as soon as I enter she comes to me and we both do a little dance while singing an bollywood song “Mera Piya Ghar Aaya” (My love has reached home). And, then we hug and greet.
Its a little thing which has turned into some sort of ritual. We love it!
One day I rang the bell, before she unlocked the door she asks.. “whats the password?”
I replied in a low tone “Mera Piya Ghar Aaya” in the same tune. She was expecting me to say something “clever” but she enjoyed the song even more because I have a bad voice.”
4. I love to annoy you!
“We often just stand in each other’s way for no reason other than to be annoying.”
5. Bread games.
“Well, I just wrapped her up in a brown blanket, rolled her back and forth in bed and told her “Shhhhh be bread, it’s okay, just be bread, shhhh, loaf-girlfriend, it’s okay to become bread” while she cackled and screamed “I DON’T WANT TO BE BREAD.””
6. Just like pro wrestling.
“My ex used to want me to body slam her onto the bed all the time.”
7. True artists.
“Penis drawings. I don’t remember who started it but we hide the same penis drawing for the other one to find. She put it in my suitcase when I went away on a hunting trip with my buddies and I had to explain why I had a crudely drawn wang on a sheet of notebook paper packed with my socks.
When I returned I hid in the bottom of her underwear drawer and it took her a few months to find it. She then hid it somewhere and I haven’t found it yet, that was five years ago. She told me I’ll find it eventually but I’m afraid of where it might be. I have told her that if she dies before me that she is getting buried with it and I win.”
8. Let’s see who’s more dominant.
“We sneak up on each other and bite each other on the neck to assert “dominance”. We use the “dominance” to win trivial arguments like who do our animals love more.”
9. Time to clean up.
“While we’re in the shower he’ll cover his body with soap, wrap his arms around me, and then go up and down really fast so he’s rubbing the soap all over me and cleaning me off. We call this “Carl wash” cause its like a car wash for me, but my nick name is Carl n he’s washing me off hehe.”
10. A decade in the making.
“We have a mating dance that has gotten increasingly elaborate in the decade we have been together. Example moves: slapping one’s own butt, moving one’s arms like a choo choo train, one handed clapping.
Some of the moves go out of fashion year to year, but we have a significant repertoire.”
11. Gross and weird.
“Sometimes he puts his mouth over my nose and blows, causing me to make a horrific, monstrous sound of air coming through my nasals and out of my mouth. We call this The Exorcism.
It’s gross and weird but I love that we can be gross and weird together.”
12. Would you kindly…
“We have the WYK rule. If one of us says, “would you kindly blah blah blah” the other one must, no matter what, do that thing. There is zero negotiation. It’s mostly whipped out for benign stuff, sometimes for very silly stuff, but occasionally used in serious situations. It’s equal parts silly, fake outage, and a deep, committed trust. It only works because we trust each other not to abuse WYK or use it for evil.”
13. It gets intense?
“Sometimes when I answer the phone I become Detective Tony Pepperoni, and he’s Cheesy Steve and the Saucy Boys. There’s never really any warning, it just kinda happens and it gets pretty intense.”
14. This is a real competition.
“Straight up wrestle for fun. Not like sexy way or the cute let the other one win way, but like actual competition.”
15. This is kinda cool
What started as a simple whistle to get the others attention has turned into a full blown second language consisting of nothing but whistles. ‘Hello’ is a simple high tone whistle followed by a slightly lower tone whistle. To properly say ‘hello’ back you must respond with an even higher pitched whistle sequence or a slightly lower pitched sequence.
‘Warning:danger or distress’ is three high pitched whistles. A sad whistle is one that starts high then quickly goes to a low tone.
We’ve legit had phone conversations where we whistle at each other and laugh for 10 minutes. We thought we were insane (still are but) until realizing there are cultures out there that whistle poetry to each other and that whistling may have been the first way peeps communicated with each other.
Edit: alright well this blew up. The best way to describe it as some of you have is R2D2 language, which is hilariously accurate
The list of whistling we do is never-ending and the language becomes more advanced by the day, but my favorite whistle is ‘accomplishment whistle’ which is a high pitched ‘doo-doo DOO’ or the spooky whistle demonstrated here
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(@TLJackalope) 
