Tennessee Police Warned About “Meth Gators,” Then Had to Walk It Back

Remember that urban legend that said if you flushed a baby alligator down the toilet, the poor little fella would end up in the sewer, get enormous, have a major chip on its shoulder for being deserted, and then would go on a killing rampage? It’s actually the basis of a schlocky 1980 movie called Alligator.

Well, there’s a new alligator-centered urban legend you should familiarize yourself with because it’s a doozy…and police in Tennessee had to backtrack after the story went viral. Let’s begin, shall we?

Police in Loretto, Tennessee, posted a photo on Facebook about a drug bust. In the post, they also told people they shouldn’t flush their drugs down the toilet because it ends up in local waterways and that’s always bad news…oh, and it might create meth gators.

You read that right, meth gators.

The Facebook post read:

“Folks…please don’t flush your drugs m’kay. When you send something down the sewer pipe it ends up in our retention ponds for processing before it is sent down stream. Now our sewer guys take great pride in releasing water that is cleaner than what is in the creek, but they are not really prepared for meth.

Ducks, Geese, and other fowl frequent our treatment ponds and we shudder to think what one all hyped up on meth would do. Furthermore, if it made it far enough we could create meth-gators in Shoal Creek and the Tennessee River down in North Alabama. They’ve had enough methed up animals the past few weeks without our help. So, if you need to dispose of your drugs just give us a call and we will make sure they are disposed of in the proper way.”

People on social media bought into the hype and shared their thoughts.

Because the story went viral and people totally believed these doped-up reptiles might be coming to hunt them down, the Loretto Police Department had to clarify that meth gators are not, in fact, real.

I mean, this story even went international:

Loretto Police chief Bobby Joe Killen said, “As far as I know, there’s no methed-up gators being sighted anywhere. It’s just a joke to let people know they don’t need to be flushing their drugs of any kind down the sewer system. They need to dispose of it in a proper manner.”

Killen added, “We take our job seriously, but we like to joke amongst ourselves at the department. When you work eight, 10-hour shifts in our line of work, there are times when we like to laugh a little bit. Otherwise, you take your problems home.”

I predict a horror movie franchise based on meth gators and I could not be more pleased about it!

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A Group of Angry Ducks Interrupted a Golf Game to Chase off an Alligator

It was a lovely day at the second annual Christie’s Critters Invitational on PGA National’s Champion Course when golfers observed a gator lumbering right out onto the green.

Image Credit: YouTube

Now, to be fair, he might have assumed he was invited, given the title of the tournament, but alligators should know by now that they’re definitely not welcome at human things unless they’re inside a deep fryer.

Image Credit: YouTube

It turns out the ducks felt the same way.

They followed the gator, quacking angrily. For a while he pretended not to notice, but eventually he headed for the fastest escape route.

Because ducks, man. They’re loud, and they don’t know when to quit. And they’ll bite you and stuff.

People online had plenty to say about the event (Florida jokes incoming!), and plenty of people also chose to hold the ducks up as inspiration – maybe even a real-life metaphor.

Image Credit: Facebook

Said like people who have never had to scrub duck crap off a dock, methinks.

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