A Patient Pulled an Ingenious Trick to Get a Quick Appointment

There’s a meme out there that one of the worst parts of “adulting” is making appointments for yourself. I mean, who wants to like, speak to a person and schedule a responsibility?

What’s worse is when the places we’re trying to go seem to have policies designed specifically to keep you from easily doing so.

Which is weird. Like, don’t you all want my money? Work with me here.

Luckily, there are ways around this sort of thing. They require a little cleverness and a lot of nerve, but they can be pulled off in style, like Tumblr user hotmolasses explains.

Step 1: Try to Walk-In

You think we’re gonna let just anybody in here? Think again.

Step 2: Make the Call

The fact that they didn’t even bother walking out of the lobby first just kills me.

Step 3: Make an Appointment

How can you miss that this is happening right in front of you? Don’t you hear the echo?

Step 4: Confirm

The fact that she was mad about it is the icing on the cake.

Step 5: Satisfaction

Now share the story far and wide.

You don’t have to be a full-blown Karen to get your way as a customer. Just apply a little wit and flair, and you’ll be well on your way to checking that errand off your to-do list.

What’s a strange loophole you’ve used before?

Tell us about it in the comments.

The post A Patient Pulled an Ingenious Trick to Get a Quick Appointment appeared first on UberFacts.

Doctors Talk About the Different Excuses They’ve Heard From People With Objects Stuck in Their A**

Imagine walking into the emergency room and having to explain this kind of problem to a doctor…

That would be totally humiliating.

But it happens. A lot. Probably way more than any of us realize.

Let’s check out these TRUE stories from AskReddit users.

1. I slipped.

“My mom told me about this one when she was doing rounds in the ER.

Guy came in with a bottle of Worcestershire up his butt. Said he was making a sandwich in the shower and slipped and fell on it.”

2. Honesty…

“I have the worst, but possibly the most honest response I’ve gotten.

I was an EMT and ran a call at a methadone clinic. She was a 28 year old female who had possibly OD’d. When we got there she was sitting on the ground completely naked.

My captain asked what was up her ass to which I responded quickly as “trashbag sir” For some reason there was a contractor bag jammed right up her anus. My captain ordered me to remove it and it felt like I was a magician pulling a bunch of napkins out of a dove, or whatever magicians do.

She looks at me without a word. Until I asked her why there was a trash bag up her ass, at which point she responded ” we didn’t have a condom”

This was my second week on the job.”

3. Disgusting!

“I once had to take a guy to the OR to remove a cucumber from his rectum since it had migrated up further than could be extracted manually.

I don’t remember his excuse, but it had been in there for more than a week and when we took it out it had started to pickle…”

4. Air freshener.

“20 years ago, an ex was an ER nurse. A guy came in with a Magic Mushroom air freshener stuck up in there. He was embarrassed, and did not even attempt to explain it.

She said that when the doctor got it out, he said “Funny. It doesn’t smell pine fresh?” And everybody laughed. I am kind of surprised that didn’t lead to a lawsuit.”

5. Wow…

“RN here.

Had a Jehovahs Witness gentleman admitted to ICU with his bowels perforated. States he had constipation so he decided he needed a cleaning. He happens to do pipework so he hooked some pipes up to the hose then inserted the other end in his rectum to just give it the ol’ swish and dump.

Burst his colon from the pressure and/or the hard pipe crammed up his butt. Unfortunate thing was he needed a blood transfusion but oops, he’s a Jehovahs Witness so no go. I learned then that they actually send a group of people to the hospital to watch you and make sure you don’t stray from your faith.

I always wondered what he told them….”

6. Lost count…

“I’ve lost count how many rectal foreign bodies I’ve removed.

But there was this one kid, well teenager. He got a AA battery stuck up his butt. Told his mom that he had been experiencing constipation and thought his butthole was just too small for the poop to get through, so he was trying to dilate it with the battery.

Umm… yeah… OK.

The kicker was that his mom completely bought this story, and she’s there telling me how this whole thing happened to her precious, innocent son.”

7. Happy holidays!

“A Christmas tree.

Not a doctor, my dads coworker had to have an artificial Christmas tree removed from his ass. Getting decorations off the attic, floor fell through, and he crashed through the ceiling and straight onto the Christmas tree.

He had to be airlifted to the hospital. They said the pressure from his jeans getting rammed up there when he fell is probably what saved him from bleeding out. No I don’t know how far it went up there and I don’t want to ask.”

8. It was still on!

“Friend of mine was doing an ED rotation as a medical student and they had a guy come in around 8pm saying he’d internalized something and couldn’t get it out.

They did the triage and asked him to sit down in the waiting area until a doctor was available. For the next few minutes there’s a really strange humming sound every now and then – which they eventually figured out was because the vibrator was still on.

Turns out usually people wait for the batteries to die before coming to hospital, but this fellow had to pick his wife up from the airport at midnight and didn’t have time to wait.”

9. Let’s get to the truth.

“One claimed that he was assaulted and the perp stuck up a dildo up his behind after the attack. He wouldn’t admitted foul play until we were going to call police.

The second one claimed that “he accidentally fell on this candle cup stand (the most common excuse used by these people).”

10. Attached.

“I was a student at the time working in the ER when medics brought in a couple “attached” to each other.

According to them, they were at a pool party when 1) the lights went out 2) as they were swimming around in the dark, they both felt something “crawl” up their asses…Anal beads. One end in the female, the other in the male.

My friend thinks the reason behind this story is because BOTH their significant others were in the waiting room…”

11. Wasn’t paying attention…

“Not a physician yet – still in medical school. On a shadowing rotation, a young woman came into the ER with a cucumber up her butt. When prompted why and how it got there, she responded with “I wasn’t paying attention while I was cooking”.

Her boyfriend had a different story…”

12. Don’t do drugs.

“Mom worked in admitting for the ER.

Guy came in with flashlight stuck.

She asked why he had done it and he said “well, I was on drugs and it seemed like a good idea. Sober me disagrees”.”

13. I’m not buying that…

“Just last week, my patient said she swallowed a toothbrush as a teen, 20 years ago, when asked about the toothbrush in her colon.”

Now it’s your turn!

Have you ever had to admit something totally embarrassing to a doctor?

Or maybe you are a health professional and have heard some real doozies in your life?

Tell us all about it in the comments!

The post Doctors Talk About the Different Excuses They’ve Heard From People With Objects Stuck in Their A** appeared first on UberFacts.

Doctors Talk About the Different Excuses They’ve Heard From People With Objects Stuck in Their A**

Imagine walking into the emergency room and having to explain this kind of problem to a doctor…

That would be totally humiliating.

But it happens. A lot. Probably way more than any of us realize.

Let’s check out these TRUE stories from AskReddit users.

1. I slipped.

“My mom told me about this one when she was doing rounds in the ER.

Guy came in with a bottle of Worcestershire up his butt. Said he was making a sandwich in the shower and slipped and fell on it.”

2. Honesty…

“I have the worst, but possibly the most honest response I’ve gotten.

I was an EMT and ran a call at a methadone clinic. She was a 28 year old female who had possibly OD’d. When we got there she was sitting on the ground completely naked.

My captain asked what was up her ass to which I responded quickly as “trashbag sir” For some reason there was a contractor bag jammed right up her anus. My captain ordered me to remove it and it felt like I was a magician pulling a bunch of napkins out of a dove, or whatever magicians do.

She looks at me without a word. Until I asked her why there was a trash bag up her ass, at which point she responded ” we didn’t have a condom”

This was my second week on the job.”

3. Disgusting!

“I once had to take a guy to the OR to remove a cucumber from his rectum since it had migrated up further than could be extracted manually.

I don’t remember his excuse, but it had been in there for more than a week and when we took it out it had started to pickle…”

4. Air freshener.

“20 years ago, an ex was an ER nurse. A guy came in with a Magic Mushroom air freshener stuck up in there. He was embarrassed, and did not even attempt to explain it.

She said that when the doctor got it out, he said “Funny. It doesn’t smell pine fresh?” And everybody laughed. I am kind of surprised that didn’t lead to a lawsuit.”

5. Wow…

“RN here.

Had a Jehovahs Witness gentleman admitted to ICU with his bowels perforated. States he had constipation so he decided he needed a cleaning. He happens to do pipework so he hooked some pipes up to the hose then inserted the other end in his rectum to just give it the ol’ swish and dump.

Burst his colon from the pressure and/or the hard pipe crammed up his butt. Unfortunate thing was he needed a blood transfusion but oops, he’s a Jehovahs Witness so no go. I learned then that they actually send a group of people to the hospital to watch you and make sure you don’t stray from your faith.

I always wondered what he told them….”

6. Lost count…

“I’ve lost count how many rectal foreign bodies I’ve removed.

But there was this one kid, well teenager. He got a AA battery stuck up his butt. Told his mom that he had been experiencing constipation and thought his butthole was just too small for the poop to get through, so he was trying to dilate it with the battery.

Umm… yeah… OK.

The kicker was that his mom completely bought this story, and she’s there telling me how this whole thing happened to her precious, innocent son.”

7. Happy holidays!

“A Christmas tree.

Not a doctor, my dads coworker had to have an artificial Christmas tree removed from his ass. Getting decorations off the attic, floor fell through, and he crashed through the ceiling and straight onto the Christmas tree.

He had to be airlifted to the hospital. They said the pressure from his jeans getting rammed up there when he fell is probably what saved him from bleeding out. No I don’t know how far it went up there and I don’t want to ask.”

8. It was still on!

“Friend of mine was doing an ED rotation as a medical student and they had a guy come in around 8pm saying he’d internalized something and couldn’t get it out.

They did the triage and asked him to sit down in the waiting area until a doctor was available. For the next few minutes there’s a really strange humming sound every now and then – which they eventually figured out was because the vibrator was still on.

Turns out usually people wait for the batteries to die before coming to hospital, but this fellow had to pick his wife up from the airport at midnight and didn’t have time to wait.”

9. Let’s get to the truth.

“One claimed that he was assaulted and the perp stuck up a dildo up his behind after the attack. He wouldn’t admitted foul play until we were going to call police.

The second one claimed that “he accidentally fell on this candle cup stand (the most common excuse used by these people).”

10. Attached.

“I was a student at the time working in the ER when medics brought in a couple “attached” to each other.

According to them, they were at a pool party when 1) the lights went out 2) as they were swimming around in the dark, they both felt something “crawl” up their asses…Anal beads. One end in the female, the other in the male.

My friend thinks the reason behind this story is because BOTH their significant others were in the waiting room…”

11. Wasn’t paying attention…

“Not a physician yet – still in medical school. On a shadowing rotation, a young woman came into the ER with a cucumber up her butt. When prompted why and how it got there, she responded with “I wasn’t paying attention while I was cooking”.

Her boyfriend had a different story…”

12. Don’t do drugs.

“Mom worked in admitting for the ER.

Guy came in with flashlight stuck.

She asked why he had done it and he said “well, I was on drugs and it seemed like a good idea. Sober me disagrees”.”

13. I’m not buying that…

“Just last week, my patient said she swallowed a toothbrush as a teen, 20 years ago, when asked about the toothbrush in her colon.”

Now it’s your turn!

Have you ever had to admit something totally embarrassing to a doctor?

Or maybe you are a health professional and have heard some real doozies in your life?

Tell us all about it in the comments!

The post Doctors Talk About the Different Excuses They’ve Heard From People With Objects Stuck in Their A** appeared first on UberFacts.

15 Amusing Tweets About Going to the Dentist

When I was young, I was terrified of going to the dentist. TERRIFIED. I still don’t necessarily enjoy it, but I don’t lose sleep over it and almost have a nervous breakdown in the weeks leading up to my appointment anymore. Mostly.

The dentist really has the power to elicit some incredibly strong responses and opinions…so let’s look at the evidence.

1. Flossin’ all night.

2. Yassss, Queen!

3. Might make things a little easier.

4. You’re good to go!

5. You’re doing it right.

6. It’s a give and take relationship.

7. I want to hear this…

8. I feel this tweet in my soul.

9. Nailed it.

10. Look away!

11. I’m kind of a big deal.

12. Not gonna happen.

13. It’s HELL.

14. You do you.

15. I can’t imagine why…

How do you feel about going to the dentist? Do you dread it? Do you love it?

Let us know in the comments!

The post 15 Amusing Tweets About Going to the Dentist appeared first on UberFacts.

15 Doctors Share What They Wish Patients Knew About Their Bodies

When you go to the doctor, ask as many questions as possible. It’s your body, take charge of it!

In this AskReddit article, doctors share what they wish everyone knew about their bodies.

1. I did not know that!

“Ejaculating blood happens to most people at least once in their lives and in 99% of cases it resolves without taking any action within a week. It doesn’t even warrant a doctor visit.

Peeing blood (for both sexes) is a serious medical emergency and you should immediately go to the ER.

People think it’s the other way around.”

2. Good to know

“This one is more about medication:

Antibiotics only work against bacteria, they are not some kind of wonderpotion that cures anything, and they should not always be given

Please please stick to your prescription the doctor gives you. Even if you already feel better, dont just stop unless the doctor says you can stop. A lot of medication needs to be taken according to the prescription in order for it to be effective, because you build up the dosis to an effective level. Stopping or not sticking to it really decreases effectivity.”

3. Nothing to be embarrassed about

“That there is a wide range of ‘normal’. Don’t be embarrassed by your body. Having said that, if you are concerned about anything, ask your doctor. We have generally heard it all before, and trust me, we have (nearly always) seen it all before. Maybe you have something that has been bothering you for ages, but you were too scared or embarrassed to ask about it … Just ask! It might be ‘nothing’ and you have been stressing about it for no reason. And if not, then you are at least one step closer to getting it fixed. No one can help if they don’t know. There are no stupid questions, so ask away.

I’m always amazed when I have been asked about something that has been bothering a patient for years and years, but they were too embarrassed / scared to bring it up. Most of the time, it is nothing / a completely normal body function / feature. Other times, it is something that should have been discussed right away.

YOU know your body best. So speak up! Don’t wait for the doctor to “ask the right question”.”

4. No narcs

“Tell us what drugs and alcohol you’re on.

We aren’t gonna tell the cops. We aren’t gonna lecture you.

But it might change the anesthesia I give you. Some stuff I give you might kill you. If you drink a 30 pack a day, tell me.”

5. Doesn’t work that way

“Some people seem to think that if you act healthy for a bit, it’ll make up for being a wreck.

There are so many things wrong with this. Just one example – antioxidants are like gas for your car. You can store up a certain amount of vitamins, but your tank can only hold so much. If you binge and overfill your tank, it doesn’t do anything (you excrete it out as waste), and you can’t expect to go the next several months without gas just because you tried to overload it before. You’re going to still need to get gas. Same goes for your fruits and veggies.

Had someone tell me he went vegetarian for a few weeks, which meant he was done for the year. He was dead serious.

Had a patient at risk for heart failure try to insist that if she stayed away from salt entirely for x days/weeks, she should be able to have her fill of McDonald’s fries and ramen.

Had a smoker argue that if he stopped for some time, he should be able to smoke freely for a while. With some digging, “stopping” turned out to mean a couple less cigarettes a day.”

6. Get out there and move!

“You need some kind of exercise. Doesn’t matter how you feel right now, sitting for 12-16 hours a day will have negative consequences.”

7. BS

“Your kidneys and liver cheerfully do all the toxin elimination you’ll ever need. Cleanses and other “detoxifying” products are bullshit woo and a waste of money. The people who sell them are predators who only care about your money becoming theirs.”

8. Very serious

“Type 2 Diabetes is more serious than most people realize. I work as a doctor in hemodialysis and most of them are due to diabetic nephropathy. It also affects your eyes nerves immune system etc. Simple life changes can help you but noone seems to care. I even lost 9 kg myself because I had a family history of diabetes and to be healthy.”

9. Get it checked out

“How to check for skin cancer. If you see any moles or anything that are:

A – asymmetrical B – border (odd borders, like they’re jagged or something) C – Colour (different colours) D – Diameter (grows) E – Evolve (Well, evolves)

Go get it checked out. It might be skin cancer.”

10. Eat healthy

“How to eat healthy. Just because you’re skinny doesn’t mean you’re healthy. Especially the teenagers who I take care of. Sometimes I will ask them what’s a healthy food your doctor wants you to eat? Rarely do I get a right answer. I feel like the internet has so many fad diets, and family members rarely cook, so families don’t know basic nutrition facts.”

11. Some good tips

“-Antibiotics are not some magic cure for every pain in your body, nor for the flu or common cold.

-Never ever boil breast milk (in my country there is a popular belief that breast milk jaundice in newborns can be treated by boiling one’s breast milk – but by doing this you destroy all the nutrients and it basically becomes as nutritious as water is).

-Do not give honey to children below the age of 1.

-Do not rub your child with rubbing alcohol as to lower his fewer.

-Baby wipes don’t substitute daily baths/showers.

Yes, I am a pediatrician.”

12. Know your meds

“This is going to sound really basic, but i wish my patients would know what meds they are on when they come to the hospital. At least once a day comes somebody in who goes ” yeah i take 8 pills in the morning, 3 in the evening, and 4 at lunch but dont ask me which, youre a doctor, you should know”.

I beg of you, before going to a doctor that has never seen you before, write your meds, dosis and all on a piece of paper.”

13. Still might feel normal

“You often will feel normal even with high blood pressure. It’s often found incidentally. So don’t wait until it gives you symptoms you don’t want to go through.”

14. Very complex

“That the immune system is an incredibly complex and nuanced organization of cells that communicates readily to destroy anything deemed hostile within the body. It helps explain why vaccines are supposed to work, why allergies come and go, and why transfusions/transplants are hard to successfully pull off.”

15. The final word

“You only get one body. The way you treat it has a significantly higher impact in how your health will end up in a decade than what sort of interventions we can give you. You really should treat your body like a temple.”

The post 15 Doctors Share What They Wish Patients Knew About Their Bodies appeared first on UberFacts.

13 People Share the Reasons They Refuse to be an Organ Donor

Being an organ donor is a pretty noble thing that just about all of us can do, because you can save someone’s life even after you’re gone. Sadly, there are still so many folks out there who refuse to sign up because of all the misinformation there is out there.

First, organs are given on the basis of need, not greed. While it is true that people can go places in the world and purchase organs, that’s rare. And they definitely can’t do that in the United States. So if you decide to donate ANY organ, it’ll go to the next person on the list. Guaranteed.

Second, nobody is going to let you die because they want your organs. That would be completely illegal, and there’s no evidence this has ever happened when it comes to modern-day, organ donation programs. Especially those in first world countries. So if you believe this is happening, you’re probably a moron.

Alright, on to the secret reasons!

1. Another good point.

Photo Credit: Whisper

2. Right, but you won’t need them eventually…

Photo Credit: Whisper

3. Rich. People. Are. NOT. Profiting. From. This.

Photo Credit: Whisper

4. This is actually a good point.

Photo Credit: Whisper

5. Fair point, although this is bound to change eventually.

Photo Credit: Whisper

6. Good exception.

Photo Credit: Whisper

7. But do you really know for sure or are you just guessing?

Photo Credit: Whisper

8. This person just does not give AF!

Photo Credit: Whisper

9. No they won’t. That’s not how it works!

Photo Credit: Whisper

10. I can’t believe THIS many people actually believe this!

Photo Credit: Whisper

11. That’s not actually a bad reason, but it is very specific.

Photo Credit: Whisper

12. THEY. WILL. NOT. DO. THIS.

Photo Credit: Whisper

13. Ultimately it’s a very personal choice.

Photo Credit: Whisper

Of course it is completely okay to NOT donate your organs if you don’t want to. But if you’re doing it because you believe any of the myths out there… you’re wrong. And likely stupid.

Sorry, not sorry.

The post 13 People Share the Reasons They Refuse to be an Organ Donor appeared first on UberFacts.

Gynecologist’s Viral Twitter Thread Sets People Straight on Late-Term Abortions

Late-term abortions have been in the news quite a bit lately due to recent decisions by some states to allow abortions after 24 weeks when medically necessitated.

But, there’s a lot of misinformation out there about late-term abortions.

Photo Credit: Twitter

Like, a lot.

The phrase “late-term abortion” is used to refer to abortions later in pregnancy, typically those after 21 weeks or more of pregnancy.

Dr. Jennifer Gunter, a board-certified gynecologist, took to Twitter to share her experiences and drop some truth regarding these abortions.

Photo Credit: Twitter

Non medically indicated = for no health-related reason. Dr. Gunter means that every single late term abortion she ever performed was for a significant medical reason.

Photo Credit: Twitter

She can think of one case where there are no fetal anomalies, and that one has some pretty horrific circumstances. The rest …

Photo Credit: Twitter

Clearly, no one is making these decisions lightly.

Photo Credit: Twitter

These are tragic situations, and those who are facing these decisions should be treated with empathy and understanding, not judgment.

The post Gynecologist’s Viral Twitter Thread Sets People Straight on Late-Term Abortions appeared first on UberFacts.

12 Times the Routine “Sexual History” Question Went Weird

The sexual history question is supposed to be routine. It’s there to cover bases and help doctors and nurses check off boxes and eliminate variables, or lead them to the source of a potential problem.

But, as these 12 stories from doctors, nurses, and patients can attest, when the subject of sex is invoked, the routine can swiftly veer into the absurd:

#1. Be Cool

When I was in year seven, probably 11 or 12 years old, I had broken my foot in a way that needed a minor surgery, so my cute twentysomething nurse was asking me the pre questions with my dad.

When she got to the personal part, she asked if I wanted my dad to leave the room, I said no, because, whatever.

When she asked if I was sexually active, I turned to my dad and said in a loud whisper, “I want her to think I’m cool.”

#2. Socially Active

The best response I’ve heard to this question was from a quiet guy in my freshman college English class.

Somehow our discussion on vaccines led to this topic, and he told a story about his doctor asking if he was sexually active.

His perfect response was, “Bro, I’m not even socially active.”

#3. Sweet Ride

One of my classmates was asking a 75 year old woman with dementia about her occupation for a PT exam.

Her response: “I give blowjobs in my garage to afford my sweet ride.”

#4. “Not that that would change a thing, though.”

I’m a hospital corpsman (navy medic) and I had this older retired salty dog as a patient a while ago.

His wife had passed away, but I didn’t know that.

When I asked if was sexually active he said, “Well, no for two reasons: I’m married, and she’s dead. Not that that would change a thing, though.”

I felt terrible, and then he just started laughing and told me not to feel bad.

Seriously caught me off guard though.

Crusty old bastard!

#5. Huge Difference

My doctor was just telling me a story…

Back when they first started performing vasectomies, doctors had to call their patients back for standard follow up questioning a number of weeks after the procedure.

He told me he got the same answers from all of the couples he interviewed:

Any Sensation change? -No, Any performance Change? – No… etc.

This went on and on… until one day, he asked a couple if there was anything different after the procedure. Any changes at all….

The wife said YES… There is a huge difference since he had the surgery.

My doc was very surprised, and when he inquired further, the wife said, “It tastes different”…

He said it was all he could do to keep from laughing as he made the note of, “Seminal fluid tastes different after procedure”

#6. Lottery

I told my doctor back in high school that I wasn’t sexually active and she said:

“And you go to ______ High School?! I should play the lottery!”

The post 12 Times the Routine “Sexual History” Question Went Weird appeared first on UberFacts.