12 People Share the Dumb Jokes They Hear Way Too Often Because of Their Job

Some jobs, it would seem, lend themselves to one dumb joke or another. You’d figure that people would just assume that you’d heard them all.

You’d be wrong.

12. Laugh if you want that tip

“When you’re clearing someone’s empty plate and ask if they liked their meal. “Oh, no, I hated it!”

Can’t believe this hasn’t been mentioned yet. I used to hear it literally 10x a day when I was working in restaurants.”

11. You don’t want to know

“Some guy during his abdominal ultrasound: “so is it a boy or a girl??”

cue fake laugh and internal eye roll”

10. Or give them to my neighbor

“When I delivered mail: “you can keep the bills” or some other comment about not wanting the bills.”

9. Smooth

“When i worked Retail,

Me: “Can I get you anything else?” Customer: “Yea, a million dollars”

Now usually i just pulled the fake customer service laugh and let it go, but if it’s a cute girl, I once said this…

“We sell mirrors on Aisle 7, I’m sure you’ll find it there”

8. Ten times a day

“If something doesn’t scan at the register “that means it’s free, right?”

7. Justifiable homicide

“My boss’ name is Josh, everyday he says, “I’m just Joshing ya!” Every. Day.”

6. So funny

“I’m an operator in a power plant.

“Oh my God are you Homer Simpson lololololololololol! Do you want a donut hahahaha!”

5. That joke is dead

“Work in a morgue. “Oh people are just DYING to come see you!!” To which I respond “Obviously. I’m delightful.” I also was once asked how things were going in the morgue and I replied “Lively” as it was pretty busy that day. They thought it was so hilarious and now 2 years later they won’t let me forget that I referred to a morgue as “lively” one time.”

4. Everyone’s a musician

“Can you turn off the suck button”

Recording engineer. Haha, I get it, you’re not a very good musician, now let’s take it from the top because you’re ignoring the click.

And the joke that the engineers always make is, “Yeah, that was ok, but this time maybe sing it like it’s a record”.

3. Too much TV

“I’ve had an influx of people moving their insurance from other carriers and they always try to make some witty response about how the company they are with weren’t working out for them. For example, if they had Nationwide, I swear to god every single one of them says “Nationwide wasn’t on MY side!” Or if they had Progressive, they say something about how Flo didn’t use her price checker tool for them or with Allstate they would say they weren’t in good hands. (These are just examples)

In reality, though, your prices were increased because you’re a shitty driver and think you’re entitled to lower rates when you have 3 pages worth of MVR violations.”

2. Playtime

“Preschool teacher (in sweden).

“Must be nice to just play all day long, right? Hahaha!”

Let’s put it this way. You and your SO are sitting in an apartment with 2 bedrooms. Suddenly someone opens the door and 18 screaming three year olds comes running in. Two adults in a small area with 18 children.. How much playing do you think you have time for?”

1. Commercials ruin lives

“I’m a salesman who’s name happens to be Jake.

I hear on a daily basis

“Oh you quit your job at State Farm? Why?”

Or

“Why aren’t you wearing khakis?”

I laugh along most times because I want the sale. But I’m always internally screaming. Don’t get me started on my last name.”

h/t: Reddit

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12 People Admit Their Worst Habit That They Can’t Seem to Break

We all have bad habits. Traits that we’re aware are less than desirable. And sometimes, even with all the awareness in the world, we just can’t seem to change it.

These 12 people are brave enough to share theirs on the internet. Props.

12. Really need a maid

“I’m really lazy. I mean, I can function – get to work, get dressed, feed myself and my kids. However, most of the time I’d prefer to park myself in front of a tv and do nothing at all. I “clean” my house, meaning I pick up everything, but it hasn’t had a good cleaning when chemicals, etc in awhile – or a dusting. So lazy. Really need a maid because I know after this long, counting on me to magically get the ambition to do it regularly is never going to happen.”

11. Socially awkward

“Not waiting for people to finish their sentences and finishing it in my head

Long winded story telling because I can’t dissect the essentials

Not being able to push myself hard in physical exercise and rather coast through with enough effort but not enough to grow a lot

Dumping sad stories on friends and being an overall narcissist

Inability to accept compliments because they contradict my negative self talk.”

10. Rampant oversharing

“I over share what’s going on in my life. I have no idea why, but it just spills out of me. I try to stop, but I only realize I’m doing it after talking to people.”

9. Introverts unite!

“I enjoy my “me” time a little too much. My social skills are fine but it’s getting harder and harder to leave the house.”

8. It can wait

“I’m a full time procrastinator.”

7. Only negative opinions

“I have a hard time trusting people, or believing that people actually enjoy having me around. I always assume people have a negative opinion of me. It sucks, but I’m trying really hard to break it.”

6. Escape from reality

“Getting caught up in daydreaming/fantasies. My god they’re addictive (and really just an escape from reality) and it’s so hard to get out of it.”

5. Not so funny

“I joke around too much. It’s my way of coping with stress, anxiety, and other emotions and while it can be enjoyable at times, I know it can be frustrating for others too.”

4. Paralyzed

“I get paralyzed when I have important life changing things to do. I always wait until it is too late to do them becAuse the fear of confronting them is paralyzing to me”

3. Not stuck-up

“Social anxiety, but it comes off as me being stuck up to everyone else.”

2. Sorry not sorry

“I apologize for everything (even when it’s not my fault) to the point where I need to apologize because I’ve over apologized and annoyed people in the process.

I also procrastinate a hell of a lot.”

1. My face gets tired

“Resting bitch face. I can try to hold a different expression, but my face gets tired.

I swear I’m not an asshole. Anyone can approach/talk to me. :(“

h/t: Reddit

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12+ People Dish on the Trashiest Thing They’ve Ever Witnessed at a Wedding

Ah, weddings. They’re supposed to be classy events where we can sip complimentary free booze and dish about the bridal fashions and food choices with our friends, but most of us would agree that weddings aren’t weddings without at least a bit of drama.

That goes double for these 15 people, who have witnessed some serious sh*t.

15. Why even bother?

“The groom’s family did not like the bride. This was because after they couple met, the groom (aged 32) started to finally have a life and make his own decisions. Before that the grooms parents were his entire life as he worked with his dad and still lived at home. Grooms mom also did all of his banking so the guy didn’t even know how much money he had in his account (yeah the groom was a very sheltered child who turned in a very lonely, slightly weird adult who’d only had one short term girlfriend before he met the bride).

Even though grooms family did not want this wedding to happen, they came to the wedding. The grooms mom, dad and sister then proceeded to ignore the bride the entire time. When they were doing family pictures, grooms family refused to stand next to the bride. When the bride walked into the church, they refused to stand and looked straight ahead her entire walk up the isle. They proceeded to have a “whispered” conversation at the bride was saying her vows. At the reception grooms sister tried (my fellow bridesmaids and I stopped her) to walk into the dance floor with her dad during the brides dance with her father.

They were relentless in their attempts to make sure every one of the 150 guests knew they did not like the bride. The poor bride was an emotional wreck about to have a break down by the time dinner was served. The groom was so angry that you could practically see the smoke coming out his ears. It all came to a end when the groom punched his dad in the face at the end of dinner when the dad insinuated that the bride looked like she belonged at the strip club in her (not very slutty v neck dress with a low back) dress.

His family is utter trash and the groom hasn’t spoken a word to his parents in 3 years.”

14. How mature

“A fight broke out because the bride wanted a bridesmaids and groomsmen dance. A bridesmaid’s boyfriend did not approve of her dancing with another dude, no matter the reason.”

13. Nope

“Wife was part of the wedding party and the happy couple wanted wedding pics with the maids making out wirh the groomsmen, then all of them topless, and so on, the list just got worse… none of them knew each other; there was no warning; just crazy expectation their friends would do anything they asked for their big day.

My wife (girlfriend then) was so upset she walked out crying, so we went home.”

12. He is the best goat mom ever

“My meth-head uncle brought a baby goat to my reception, because he, and I quote, “is the best goat mom ever”. The goat died the next day.”

11. McDonald’s in hand

“I love my husband’s family. They’ve been great to me with two specific exceptions (not my mother in law).

HOWEVER

my MIL and her boyfriend showed up to the ceremony minutes before it began, both with McDonald’s in hand. The rest of his family came in while we were saying our vows. If you’ve been to a Catholic ceremony, you’ll understand just how late this made them. I could barely hear the priest over the pews squeaking. Props to him though, didn’t say a thing about it. Everything else went well though!?”

10. She forgot her teeth

“My ex father in law. He remarried a woman who was much younger than him. Fancy wedding, went all out on the location and the decorations and his new brides wedding dress. He spent a ton of money and it was beautiful.

Several members from his side of the family showed up in jeans, not nice jeans, torn, dirty, frayed jeans, and tee shirts. His own sister showed up in a tank top and jean cut off shorts.And she forgot to bring her teeth. Half of the wedding guests seriously looked like they were part of a white trash carnival.

They pretty much all got drunk and terrorized this beautiful expensive venue.

It was an amazing wedding. I had a blast.”

9. The puke table

“A girl was pretty trashed right off the bat at the reception, and she projectile vomited all over her table. It was known as the puke table for the rest of the night. At the same wedding, a guy kept cutting his dress pants shorter and shorter throughout the evening until they were daisy dukes. He was rad. I also remembered my dancing partner did the splits (while going commando), and there was a huge rip in his pants. His balls were hanging out the rest of the evening. Dear god that was a fun wedding.”

8. Step away from the microphone

“Brother of the groom grabbing the mic while he was drunk and announcing to the guests that they needed “To shut up and sit down because it’s [Bride] and [Groom’s] big day and ya’ll are ruining it by talking and dancing.” Naturally this was after dinner and when the band was playing so everyone could dance.”

7. A quick, quiet annulment

“I was bridesmaid in a wedding many years ago.

During the talk about love, honor and commitment from the celebrant, the father of the bride leaned into the bridesmaids and said something like “wait, they’re talking about my daughter, right? Does she even know what those words mean?” The only photo I kept from that day was of the bunch of us trying not to laugh.

Same wedding, but during the reception portion of it, there was a fight because someone made a disparaging remark about the bride being … well, “free with her sexual favours” to put it nicely. The groom stood up for her and it turned into a fist fight. Turns out she’d never had sex with HIM (which might explain why they married 4 months after meeting), but she HAD had sex with ALL of his groomsmen. During the ~2 months between getting engaged and getting married.

Wedding ended with her drunk & puking on my shoes, the groom went to the honeymoon suite hotel room they’d booked with the sister of one of the groomsmen and a quick, quiet annullment a few weeks later.”

6. Everyone has that one aunt

“We were driving from the wedding site to reception. My friend had a sign that said “Show Us Your Boobs” that he kept him his car. He started waving it and one of the aunts of the bride…. showed us her boobs”

5. So inappropriate

“Was at the wedding of a friend. The couple was inter-racial. Wedding is a lovely combination of traditions from both sides. Bride and groom had decided NOT to have speeches as there were a couple people on both sides who weren’t particularly pleased with them getting married.

So reception begins, alcohol flows and eventually intermingling occurs between the families. Then her Great- Uncle, whom she had been very close to all her life, manages to convince the DJ to let him make a quick little speech. The speech is this lovely little prattling thing about how wonderful the bride is and how Great-Uncle had always felt she was the daughter he never had and if she had to marry someone at least it was a man who had already proven he could take care of her etc etc.

Everyone is tearing up.

Then the Bitch-Queen of Angamar stands up, takes the mic from her husband and says “I’ll now translate for the groom’s family”. Then she TAKES HER TEETH OUT and begins grunting like an animal.

She was quickly dragged out of the building but it pretty much killed the mood for the rest of the party.”

4. How they met

“You know how the groom gets the garter off the bride? Now imagine being in a room with family, friends and coworkers and watching the bride give the groom a lap dance while he removes the garter with his teeth while that romantic ballad, “Pour Some Sugar On Me” blasts from the speakers.

That was probably not a good way for her to tell her parents that she put herself through college working at a strip club. Or for him to tell his parents he met the bride at the strip club.

(And everyone bitched when they wanted a child-free wedding)”

3. Mother-of-the-groom

“My sister’s wedding….the groom’s mom performed the ceremony, decked out in a crazy black dress with a slit just about up to her lady bits, rocking some serious fishnet stockings. She gave a long “sermon” about marriage, and the whole thing was batsh*t crazy. The best part of it was when she was talking about cheating in a marriage, and how the bride should handle it. She essentially said her son would cheat, but don’t worry, because “I’ve got your back.” She was talking about how she’d yell at her son, and that my sister could be mad, but should ultimately forgive him.

Once the ceremony was over, she stepped in front of the newly married couple, spread her arms wide for her adoring crowd, and walked in front of my sister and her husband as they left the ceremony. Photographer couldn’t even get a decent picture because the groom’s mom was blocking them.

Then, this crazy woman changed into a white dress for the reception and kept yelling, “that’s my baby boy” over and over as we all watched a picture video of the couple. So glad we had a few drinks before the wedding.”

2. A full-on melee

“not me but my father went to a wedding of a distant relative, i don’t recall whether bride or groom. the ceremony went off fine, everybody drove over to the reception hall for dinner & drinks, and drinks and more drinks. the crowd was getting pretty rowdy and the groom was pretty drunk by the end of dinner. she was visibly annoyed at his drunken antics through the first dance but things settled down as people danced to the first set.

during the band’s break the bride & groom went up to cut the wedding cake. they held the knife together but the groom ended up cutting a comically huge piece. as she went to feed him a bite of cake he did the same… only as she opened her mouth, he slammed the cake into her face and erupted in drunken laugher.

the bride immediately swung and landed a solid punch to his face. this sobered up the groom and he responded by picking up a layer of the cake and smashing it over the brides head. about that time the father of the bride (70 year old!) and the bride’s brother got to the groom, threw him down and started beating the sh*t out of him. the best man got involved in the groom’s defense and then all hell broke loose in the hall.

it was a full on melee as various relatives and friends started brawling as others ran for the doors. my dad got out quickly but watched from across the street while waiting for a cab. the sheriff showed up, broke up the fight & got the bride’s and groom’s sides separated & calmed down. a couple ambulances came… thankfully no one died but i think the concussed groom had to get a number of stitches & the father of the bride had to taken to the hospital for observation on chest pains, along side a few more assorted injuries.

the minister was happy to shred the marriage license instead of turning it in, and i don’t believe they’ve ever talked since.”

1. Tailgate kegger

“Went back to my rural hometown to a high school classmate’s wedding. The reception was held at the county fair grounds and was basically just a tailgate sitting kegger in an empty lot. Usually this is perfectly fine, but the groomsmen got belligerently drunk and 3 full on fist fights ended up breaking out over the course of the night. Shirts off, rolling in the grass, headlocks, buddies jumping in for a cheap punch, the whole shebang. Cops ended up coming and shutting it down.

Side note: I was also the only person in attendance wearing a tie (including the groom). They broke up 3 months later and it’s really hard to keep track of whose kid belongs to who between them, their new significant others, and their new partner’s exes. Small towns are f*cked.

Edit: grammar”

h/t: Reddit

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10+ People Reveal the Scariest Thing to Happen to Them as Children

Hold onto your hats and make sure the lights are on, because some of these will give you the straight-up willies.

12. Close call

“Someone once tried to kidnap me and a friend at our brother’s baseball game. We wandered off on our own for a while, when this guy came out of nowhere and tried to get us to come with him, and after multiple refusals from us, lunged at us and tried to grab us.”

11. So many creeps

“When I was 10 or 11, a guy came up to me and my friend in a park and said he was a gymnastics coach. We were sitting on the monkey bars, and he offered to “help” us flip up onto the top via grabbing our butts. He told us to meet him the next day and he’d take us to the Y on the other side of the city. We didn’t go, thankfully. A girl the same age as us was kidnapped from the same area shortly after, and her body was found near that Y. Was it the same guy? Can’t say for sure, but he was never caught, and the location similarities have creeped me out for decades. (And yes, I reported what happened to me and my friend)”

10. Psychotic stepfather

“My stepfather drove me into some secluded woods with a chain saw, ax, trash bags, and gloves in the trunk and told me the only reason he wasn’t killing me then and there was because my mom asked him to wait two weeks.

Then he essentially said if my dad got custody he would kill us all, took me to McDonald’s then took me to school late. Told the counselor I had been making good grades so he rewarded me by letting me sleep in.

Dad definitely got custody.”

9. Thought it was popsicles

“Saw red popsicles in the road at the bus stop. When I got closer I realized it was a freshly run over cat with it’s bones sticking out.”

8. Domestic abuse leaves scars

“My dad tried to throw my mum down the stairs. She was screaming at him, it was terrifying.”

7. Boys should definitely not be boys

“The hillbilly neighbors tried to run me over with a truck. They thought it would be funny to hear me scream. I was 4 years old. Their dad was cop so nothing was done. “boys just having a lil fun” F*ckers. it’s been 40 years and i still see that Orange pickup in my nightmares.”

6. Lessons about bull riding

“I saw a man die during rodeo while bull riding when I was 8. My parents were real big into bull riding and the dude just got thrown off and rag dolled when he hit the ground. The clowns scared off the bull and he just wouldn’t move, the EMS dudes came along and put him on a stretcher and carted him away, and as he was being carted we could see his head was turned the wrong way and everyone knew then he was dead.”

5. Beware the cyclists

“I mean, I was a pretty ballsy child and I was not easily scared, but one thing has stuck with me even over the years: I saw a young man on a bicycle being hit by a car, when I was maybe 7 or so.

It really sort of happened almost in slow motion, or at least in my memory. he smashed against the wind shield, then kind of…slid off, and collapsed as a rag doll.

I never knew if he survived.

To this day, as an adult who drives, I’m really, really careful about watching cyclists.”

4. Witness to a tragic accident

“I was about 7. I was waiting for the school bus one morning and about 50 yards away a mother was riding her bike with her child strapped in a bike seat behind her. She cycled in between the curb and a speed bump and fell. Her baby’s head hit a peice of rebar that was sticking out of the speedbump. She got up and ran with the child screaming, “MY BABY!!” a few houses down where cops and an ambulance were handling another situation.

Don’t know what happened to the child. The mothers screams were the most haunting thing I’ve ever heard to this day.”

3. Superhero mama

“We were moving, had our house packed up and we were driving cross country. We pulled into a gas station and I decided to stay in the truck because we hadn’t been on the road long and I had video game magazines to read.

Someone else pulled into the gas station, pumped his gas and ran into the store and tossed money on the counter for the cashier. He came back out, in a bit of a rush, and left the hose in his truck when he drove off. This caused a phenomena known as “Holy sh*t everything is on fire.”

My mom started trying to rip me out of the seat, but I was buckled in and then she also realized “F*ck a lot of our stuff is in this truck.” so she changed strategies. She jumped into the car so fast that she had a bruise on her knee for the next week from the shifter, and took us off down the road, somewhat ironically leaving my brother at the now-really-super-on-fire gas station. But she got me to safety while my aunts got my brother out of there.

From my perspective I finally got a minute to myself, heard a KTCH-TUNK FLOOM and then a 100 pound woman was screaming at me and trying to dislocate my shoulder, and then we were doing 60 miles an hour with a much ghostier version of that same woman driving the vehicle.

Never got my soda though so 4/10 experience.”

2. Sleepover fears

“When I was a smallish, awkward kid (6-7, also only child at the time), I went to my first sleepover with my “friend” and her older and younger sister. It was alright until the mom told us to go to sleep/lights-out. Then my “friend” and her older sister punched me in the ribs/stomach a few times and told me repeatedly that my parents were never going to come back for me, that they didn’t love me, and that they probably died on the way to the restaurant they were planning on going to that night.

I kept trying to be strong but after probably 30 minutes I started crying/probably full-on anxiety attack. Their mom came and took me to the couch and tried to “calm me down” by yelling at me to stop or else I would throw up on her carpet/furniture. I remember crying more and getting confused, do people actually throw up when they’re freaked out and crying? Then at some point I fell asleep (I think), and I woke up in my parent’s apartments.

My mom said my “friend’s” mom was so nice for carrying me home, but took my side after I told her what happened.

It was the most traumatizing thing of my childhood, and it messed me up for quite a while. I never really made friends after that, and had a rough time ever going to a sleepover again.”

1. Near drowning

“I nearly drowned in a recreational swimming pool. Think I was around 6 years old and not much of a swimming talent. My parents had my older sisters look after me while they were swimming around with my uncle and aunt.

At some point I went under and swallowed some water which made me cough badly. I couldn’t stay afloat anymore and was waving my arms all over the place trying to get someone’s attention to help me.My sister saw me and she did something I still give her a hard time over. She.. waved back at me. That’s all she did, she waved back. I thought to myself “I’m dying”.

Luckily a lifeguard saw me and pulled me out in time. Still not comfortable whenever I go swimming now.”

h/t: Reddit

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14 People Admit the Worst Thing Anyone Ever Said to Them

Some of these are real rough, y’all. Be prepared.

14. Not-so-sweet nothings

“He called me his wife’s name. I did not know he was married.”

13. No crooning, please

“I once drunkenly hooked up with a guy I’d been friends with for a couple of years. We were at a party at his place and the music was loud enough to be heard from the bedroom so we didn’t turn any on when we started fooling around. Everything was going great, we had moved onto the actual sex, when he starts…softly singing. It’s not the song that’s playing out in the living room either, he just decided to start singing, and he’s getting louder and louder until he’s really belting it out – “BYYYYE BYE MISS AMERICAN PIE, DROVE MY CHEVY TO THE LEVEE BUT THE LEVEE WAS DRY!” It was…it was odd.

Edit: fixed the spelling you Chevy fans.”

12. Yikes

“I want to see your bones drying in the desert sun. Wish I was kidding.”

11. Ummm

“I’ll do you so hard, you’ll walk with a gimp the rest of your life.”

10. Maybe that’s a good thing

“Put his hand over my mouth and said: “Shhhh. Every time you talk, it goes down.”

9. Ouch

“That was my hip.”

I apparently dislocated her hip.

That put an end to the evenings festivities.”

8. Not friends

“Not during sex, during foreplay. Was with a girl I was interested in, it was our second “date” (really, just the second time we hung out) and we ended up parked in a secluded spot. We hopped into the back seat and started getting frisky. After a bit she stripped completely naked, and made clear she wanted to have sex. Thought I’d go in for a bit of muff-diving before the main event, I enjoy it, and usually girls do too. So I started heading south, and just before I got to it she pulls my head up and says “no, please, I only let my friends do that”.

WTF!?

I mean, if you don’t want cunnilingus fine, just tell me, but the absurdity of the “I only let my friends do that” just killed the mood and I couldn’t get back into it. We talked a few more times after, but that was essentially it for us….”

7. Run away

“Don’t worry. It’s been over a week since my last outbreak.”

6. Just say no

“He yelled out, “Who’s your daddy?” I was going to ignore that he said that but he then said, “F*cking tell me, who’s your daddy?” I had to answer that he was.

I have no issues with my father. He’s a normal dad. So… that was really uncomfortable.”

5. Awkward level: George Costanza

One time things were getting hot and heavy with my girlfriend, she whispers my name into my ear, and, for some reason, I still don’t know why, I proceed to whisper my own name back into her ear. Extremely sensually.

Needless to say, no sex was had that night.

4. Wrong answer

“I said this to a girl once on accident but she probably doesn’t use this site so oh well. She was a bigger girl but I didn’t mind at all. We were going at it with foreplay and such for a little before I started f*cking her from behind and while I did I grabbed her love handles for support. Well apparently she wasn’t pleased that I did because she looks back at me and tells me not to grab her fat and sadly the only thing I thought to say was “That doesn’t leave me much to work with”.

Edit: Well I just quadrupled my comment karma for being a thoughtless ass hole. I guess being yourself really pays off”

3. Honesty is some kind of policy

“Let me know when you cum so I can fake an orgasm at the same time”

2. Leviathan!

“One time during sex my husband was getting close but didn’t want to finish yet. So, he decides to quote Supernatural. Season 7 episode 1 where Castiel is trying to hold back the Leviathans. My husband says “I can’t hold them back” in a gravely Castiel voice. I start giggling and then he yells “LEVIATHAN!” Super loud and we both crack up laughing. It takes us a couple minutes to get back into the swing of things but that makes me laugh every time I think about it.”

1. Just why

“I hope this helps my period come, I’ve never been this late”

h/t: Reddit

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10 People Share the Nicest Anonymous Thing They Ever Did

Sure, recognition is nice, but there’s something about doing a secret good deed and watching a person’s face light up from afar. At least, these 10 people’s stories seem to back that up.

#10. A valid excuse

“One day I was on my way to a job interview, when I saw a man crawling down the side of the road. About 100 yards away, I saw a car crashed into a tree, and assumed that this man had been in that car. So I pulled over, got out of the car, and talked to the guy to make sure he was alright. He said he was, but clearly he wasn’t. His injuries weren’t life threatening by any means, but he was scratched, bruised, disoriented, and old.

I offered to take him to the hospital, but he wouldn’t have it. He didn’t have the money, he said, and with a little more prodding eventually released that his niece is a nurse, and she could get him cleaned up. I asked him where she lived. It was about a 45 minute drive. I told him to get in my car, and I drove him there. Sure enough, his niece cleaned him up, and after some rest, he was ok.

I missed my job interview. I never told anyone why I didn’t get the job.”

#9. Superheroes are real

“This is a story about my father.

I’m awakened by my mom around 1:30 am. “Get up, there’s a fire, we have to go outside.” she says. I’m freaking out but I don’t smell smoke. I assemble outside with my mother and younger brother and sister. Down the street a townhouse in the same row as ours is engulfed in flames. I don’t see my father around so I ask my mom.

“He went to see if he could help.” she says. I can hear the nervousness in her voice, my father is known to be rather bold. The story as it was told to me as an adult goes like this:

My father arrives after the fire department and learns that a man is alive inside, possibly lost. The FD won’t go in after the man because they do not feel that it is safe yet. My dad is like, “Fuck that.” and (clad in only his long-johns) breaks a window and enters the home. He finds the man at the top of the stairs, badly burned and unable to walk. He carries the man down the stairs and out the front door. The firemen treat my dad briefly for smoke inhalation and the cops take a statement.

The man he carried from the house died after a week in the hospital, but his family was grateful that he had a chance to say goodbye. The county awarded my dad a plaque and Comcast gave us free cable for a year. He never talks about it and it was so long ago that no one he knows is aware that it ever happened.

About a week ago my 5 year old asked me if superheroes were real. I told him the story of the day his grandfather was a superhero and I almost couldn’t finish. I hope that one day my son will feel that kind of pride in me.

tl;dr: My dad pulled a guy from a burning building and no one really knows.”

#8. A lucky day

“I was day tripping to Vancouver from Seattle and stopped in for lunch at a little cafe. From my window I saw a young teenage girl out in the cold, squatted down in a closed up businesses doorway, holding a small bundle in her arms. She was panhandling, people were mostly walking by ignoring her. She looked just broken.

I finished up my meal and went outside, went through my wallet and thought I’d give her $5 for some food. I got up to her and she was sobbing, she looked like she was 14-15. And that bundle in her arms was a baby wrapped up. I felt like I just got punched in the chest. She looked up putting on a game face and asked for any change, I asked her if she’s like some lunch. Right next door was a small quick-Trip type grocery store, I got a can of formula for the baby (very young, maybe 2-3 months old.), and took her back to the cafe though I’d just eaten. She was very thankful, got a burger and just inhaled it. Got her some pie and ice cream. She opened up and we talked. She was 15, got pregnant, parents were angry and she was fighting with them. She ran away. She’s been gone almost 1 full year.

I asked her if she’s like to go home and she got silent. I coaxed her, she said her parents wouldn’t want her back. I coaxed further, she admitted she stole 5k in cash from her Dad. Turns out 5k doesn’t last long at all and the streets are tough on a 15 year old. Very tough. She did want to go back, but she was afraid no one wanted her back after what she did.

We talked more, I wanted her to use my phone to call home but she wouldn’t. I told her I’d call and see if her folks wanted to talk to her, she hesitated and gave bad excuses but eventually agreed. She dialed the number and I took the phone, her Mom picked up and I said hello. Awkwardly introduced myself and said her daughter would like to speak to her, silence, and I heard crying. Gave the phone to the girl and she was just quiet listening to her Mom cry, and then said hello. And she cried. They talked, she gave the phone back to me, I talked to her Mom some more.

I drove her down to the bus station and bought her a bus ticket home. Gave her $100 cash for incidentals, and some formula, diapers, wipes, snacks for the road.

Got to the bus, and she just cried saying thank you over and over. I gave her a kiss on the forehead and a hug, kissed her baby, and she got on the bus.

I get a chistmas card every year from her. She’s 21 now and in college.

Her name is Makayla and her baby was Joe.

I’ve never really told anyone about this. I just feel good knowing I did something good in this world. Maybe it’ll make up for the things I’ve f-ed up.”

#7. Someone in need

“When I lived in the city an older lady about 90 got her apt robbed in my building. They went in a stole all her cash and took some valuables that she had. She did not have a bank account so the thieves took about 30K the ladies life savings. She was afraid of being evicted for the apt because she wouldn’t have the rent money and did not want to end up in a state run nursing home. I called the landlord and paid her rent in full for the rest if the year, five months worth and told the landlord not to tell her it was me. I also had groceries delivered to her once a week for the next two months until she had some money saved from her social security checks. I never told anyone what I had done for her and I don’t think she even knew my name because the apt building had about 50 apartments in it. The landlord was I only one who knew and he wanted to tell her what I was doing but I told him that I would deny it. I did not want her to feel indebted to me. She posted a letter in the lobby of the building to thank who ever had helped her. I took the letter down and kept it. The landlord still writes to me every few months to tell me how she is doing. She is still living in the apt seven years later. I never told any one.”

#6. A hand up, not out

“When I got my settlement check for getting my finger cut off at work I kept $2000 dollars and put the rest in the bank. That night after dinner and drinks I was coming home and saw a homeless man (25-30) that I’ve seen several times before, posted up against a wall near the intersection shivering in the cold. Since there were 3 hotels at that intersection, I stopped, rented a room for a week on my debit card then took the key out of the envelope, replaced it with $1700 and walked over to the gentleman to hand him the key and cash.

No bullshitting, I saw him a month or so later working at a gas station, clean, shaved and nice hair. Im not sure if he recognized me but I’m glad because I recognized him and he appeared to be happy and doing well which said enough. I haven’t seen him in several years but I like to think he’s back on his feet, maybe a family, a house, whatever really but just doing well.”

#5. Don’t wait for the cops

“I heard a fight outside my apt. one night. I looked outside and saw the fight but couldn’t tell if it was a man beating up a woman or a teenage boy( I couldn’t find my glasses). I called 911 and told them what I saw and while I was on the phone the man started dragging the other person around the corner of the building. I told the operator that I couldn’t see them anymore and that I had to go. Contemplating bringing a weapon with me as I threw on shoes and pants I decided it would be best to go bare handed. If the other guy had a gun or something he would have already used it to subdue his victim. I ran outside and quickly scanned the area and bam there he was on top of this woman. He had stripped her and thrown her clothes on top of an 8′ hedge. He was about to rape her. I hollered at him to get up and told her to come stand behind me. It was January and she was naked and freezing. I quickly took off my coat and gave it to her, never taking my eyes off the guy. Now at the time I was in very good shape and probably looked a lot tougher than I do today, this was nearly 20 years ago. The guy looked like he might try to fight me but I told him that I had called the cops and that they’d be here any minute and that his best bet was to get in his car and get the hell out of there. ( I got his lic. plate as he drove off). The first thing the girls says is ” can you get my underpants please”, so I climbed the fence next to the hedge and got all her stuff. I let her go into my apt. and lock herself in the bathroom while we waited for the cops.”

#4. The joy of giving

“This one is cheating a little, because it wasn’t actually me, but it has inspired me to do a lot more selfless things in my life:

When I was 14 or so I went with my dad to Target. He was doing some general Christmas shopping but also had a list from an impoverished inner-city family. It was hand written notes from each of four children in the family. They were instructed by the charity running the program to keep their requests reasonable. But my dad read every one and went way overboard, One kid asked for a video game for a previous gen system. My dad bought him a PS2 (which was new at the time) and a bunch of games. One of the daughters asked for a modest desk to do her schoolwork on. He bought her a really cool one and threw in every kind of school supply she could possibly need. And so on for the other two kids. He ended up spending a lot of money on this family. When he saw how jealous I was of the PS2 (I’d really been wanting one badly) he looked at me and said, “I want you to stop and really think about who this is going to and what their life is probably like and what it will feel like for them to open this on Christmas. If you do that and still want it I’ll give it to you instead.”

And so that’s the story of how I got my rad new PS2. Just kidding, it’s how I learned about the joy of giving and that my dad’s a pretty cool guy.”

#3. Breaking down

“I was in a hurry and stopped at a gas station to fill up. While I was outside my car a man came up to me and asked if I could spare a buck or two for gas, he, his wife, and his daughter were traveling but were broke and barely made it to the station. They had a broken down old volvo and it was clear that they were vagabonds of some sort who lived in their car. The kid was at most two years old. I was pretty low on cash myself but I thought hey what the hell, I could use some affirmation that people can be kind if I were in their situation. So I swiped my card at their pump and said, “Fill it up. Good luck to you and your family, I hope this can get you where you’re going” and walked away. He started crying as I left and I would have lost it too if I wasn’t too proud to do so in public. To see a grown man cry like that – both for having received an unexpected gift and for having to be put in the position of begging to keep his family safe, was one of the most profound experiences of my life. I haven’t told anyone until now.”

#2. The right thing to do

“About 6-7 years ago my gf at the time and I were vacationing in Chicago. It was our last night, so we hit a local bar and were just hanging out drinking $12 martinis. This homeless guy walks in and comes over to us with a handful of postcards and offers them to us. I didn’t need them so I give him $5 for two. He refuses. I try to give him $10 and he still refuses so I ask him what he wants. He tells me that he is just hungry and wants something to eat.

The bartender had to go all the way around to come up to the guy. The homeless guy orders a cheeseburger. The bartender was clearly distraught, and asked the guy if he had any money. I jumped in and said it was on me. I ordered a second cheeseburger and two orders of fries to go with it.

We sat and talked to him while his food was being made. Just a normal guy that lost his job and then his hope. I felt so terrible spending a couple hundred dollars in a bar while this guy could do so much with it. When his food came out, he profusely thanked me. I shoved all the cash I had into his hand and awkwardly told him good luck.

The bartender turned out to be the owner. He came back around told me that he had never seen anyone do something like that before. I offered up some feeble reply on how it just seemed right at the time and that we were leaving because I spent the last of my drinking money. He wouldn’t let us go. He gave us round after round on the house.

Closing time came soon after and we started heading to the door and he stopped us again. He was dating one of the waitresses and wanted to take us out to the late night bar. We hung out in the locked up bar with her while he did some paperwork. We played darts and drank before staggering back to our hotel. I can’t remember the homeless guys face, what he was wearing, but I still have that postcard of the sears tower.”

#1. Packed to the gills

“Well, it’s not me personally. But my great uncle was a quiet guy. He wasn’t around much. He lived in a small town.

But when he died a LOT of people came to the funeral. Way more than expected.

Turns out he’d spent a lot of his time volunteering, visiting with old folks, talking with people in hospice, the food pantry, etc. etc. He never told anyone. When he died all the people from these different volunteer organizations showed up along with the people he’d helped. Line was around the block to the funeral.”

h/t: Reddit

The post 10 People Share the Nicest Anonymous Thing They Ever Did appeared first on UberFacts.

12 People Share Memorable Stories About Picking up Hitchhikers

There are two types of people in the world – those who choose to trust other human beings not to rape and murder them and those who, under no circumstances, trust other not to rape and murder them. The former are more likely to pick up hitchhikers now and then.

If you fall into the latter category, maybe some of these funny and heartwarming stories will change your mind!

Or not.

#12. His name was Walter

“On my road trip to LA from NJ I happened upon a hitch hiker, he was old, maybe 60, and walking in the middle of the desert in Texas. He had no backpack, no nothing, just the clothes on his back. I past him at first, but quickly slammed on my brakes and put it in reverse, I figure an elderly man walking in the middle of the desert isn’t looking to rob, rape, or kill anyone.

Once I pulled over he began jogging toward my car, but with a limp. I could already see the damage the sun had done to his unprotected face through my rear-view mirror. Once he got in the car he immediately thanked me, you could hear the desperation and dehydration in his voice. I gave him a bottle of water and then asked where he was headed, before I could finish my sentence he had finished the water.

He said he was headed to Phoenix to go back home to his wife, he had this deep southern accent akin to Boomhauer from King of the Hill. Since I had family in Gilbert and was headed that way to begin with, I figure whats the big deal, it was only going to be and extra hour of driving.

At first he was very short with answering the questions that I asked, not that he was rude, just exhausted. When asked how many miles he had walked since his last ride he replied, with relief, “only 60” as if expecting to walk 200.

I had a McDonald’s gift card that my girlfriend sent me for the road trip, which I didn’t consider using because McDonald’s is a diarrhea factory and I wanted to make good time without having to sh*t on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere every 5 minutes, but this guy looked like he hadn’t had a meal in a day or two. I pulled to the drive-thru of the next one I came across and asked him to order anything he liked. He seemed to become more chipper and have more energy once the opiates from the cheese hit him…and I must confess to the purchase of some french fries for myself.

After that McDonald’s stop there were no more rest stops or gas stations for miles, about 2 hours into the journey through the desert my car began to stall out…

Looking at my quarter tank of gas I couldn’t figure why my car was acting up, before my road trip I had my uncle (mechanic his whole life) look over my car a fix everything that needed to be fixed, change the fluids, the whole 9. I naturally had a GPS and ran a search for the nearest gas station…which was 22 miles away… trust me when I say my car sounded like it couldn’t even make 1 more mile.

I immediately started going in the direction of the suggested route , keep in mind there is nothing but desert and mountains as far as the eye can see. My car kept on “put putting” its way like those sickly cars would you see in cartoons. At that moment I realized why getting cheap gas doesn’t pay off in the long run, clearly it was a bad mix and my car was trying to burn something that couldn’t.

After stalling several times I eventually reached my destination, and it was the smallest f*cking town I had ever seen. The gas station was there just like the gps said, well, at least what was ever left from the fire that hit it maybe about 5 months prior. All while this is going on my guest just kinda sat there quietly, probably to nervous to say anything in fear of possibly adding to my frustration. I stall again.

I get out and walk a little bit, taking my keys of course. I don’t walk more than 50 feet before finding the first sign of life, a man watering his pavement….yes….he was watering his pavement….again…small f*cking town in the middle of nowhere. I asked if the gas station that burnt down was the only one in town and to my delight it was not. There was one more about a mile into town, I got in my car and with a ‘put put putter’ my engine turned over and got me the rest of the way.

Once I got to the gas station I loaded up on some snacks and drinks knowing I still had about 10hrs of driving ahead of me. By the way, at the checkout in the gas station/bar/grocery store, I asked the attendant how many people live in town…He said 315…he knew the exact f*cking number…they had a population smaller that my high school.

Any way…having that old man hitch hiker in the car while all that was going on made it seem much more like an adventure, it gave me a little more motivation to solve the problem rather than just calling AAA, don’t really know why…just did. From that point on it was smooth sailing.

Once we got back on the road we began the awkward dance of finding a common musical interest that we can tolerate for the next 10 hours until we reach Phoenix. I mainly enjoy music like JUSTICE and Kavinsky on these long road trips, Electro keeps me awake. Being the southern type he liked country, I’d rather be raped. Low and behold there was one group we both shared a common affinity for, leave it to the Beatles.

With there only being about 2 hrs left until we reached Phoenix I began to pry about why an elderly man such as himself was hitch hiking in the first place. Turns out he was younger then he looked, he was 53, but man was his story sad. Having lost his job of 20 years as a janitor he moved to Tennessee to work at a construction site, at his age! I guess maybe due to budget cuts about a third of there workers got sh*t canned only after about 7 months after the start of the project, probably to be replaced by cheaper labor. In these economic times I bet people would work for just about any wage, he had no other choice but to head back home.

With his last check in hand he headed to the back to cash it in order to fund his trip back home. With a good chunk of change in his pocket he purchased a Grey Hound bus ticket and gave a call to his wife tell her he is on his way. Once the bus started to board, tragedy struck.

Two guys jumped him, probably having seen his cash while he was paying for his ticket. He put up a fight, defending of course the only money he had left to his name, only then to get stabbed twice in the chest. He almost died and had to spend about a month in the hospital to recover without having any health insurance what-so-ever. He wracked a bill I am sure in the thousands.

Side Note: I raged when he told me about the fat f*ck security guard at Grey Hound that just witnessed all this without doing a god damn thing.

He showed me the scars on his chest, the hospital kicked him out as soon as they could, because f*ck the poor and destitute, America Rules! His wife was barley making the rent, so he decided instead of burdening her with the cost of having to buy him a bus ticket he decided to hitch it.

From Tennessee to Texas only truckers picked him up and dropped him off at whatever rest stop they stumbled upon before diverting in a direction other than west. I was the only passenger vehicle to stop for him.

I am glad that I picked up a hitch hiker, it made me feel good doing something for a complete stranger in need for no reason other than for the common good. Just remember there are f*cked up people in this world, people who will do bad things in the face of charity and kindness, but there are also people who are just down on there luck looking for a ride home, where ever that may be.

And for those of you who are wondering…his name was Walter.”

#11. Doing it for the kids

“For the past year I’ve tried to pull over when I see someone by an broken down car. I don’t drive much, but I’ve probably pulled over about fifteen times. This past summer I was on my way back to school and saw a guy who was sitting in his car on the side of the road so I pull over to see if he needs any help. He was broken down, had no phone, and was 2 hours from his home so I let him use my phone to call whoever he needed. I’ve always thought that I wouldn’t pick up a hitchhiker because…well…I don’t know what would happen. But after he got off the phone I asked if he needed anything else and he asked for a ride to the nearest gas station (20 minutes away). I didn’t even think about it and told him to get in the car. If I had thought before answering I doubt I would have offered…but I gave him a ride and no trouble came to me.

I felt terrible for the guy. He was 25 and was already divorced and lived 3 hours from his kids. So ever other weekend he drove three hours in his early 90s piece of sh*t car to see his kids. I knew he hated his life except for his kids…good god I could tell he loved his kids. I can only hope that someday I’m as loving of a father as he is.”

#10. Remember to pay it forward

“My friend and I were pulling onto the highway yesterday when suddenly a Mexican looking kid waived us down and ran up to our window. He was carrying a suit case, the big ones like we take on international vacations and it seemed as if he had been walking for a some time. Judging from his appearance I figured he was prob 20-21 years old. He asked us if he could get a ride to “Grayhun”. We both looked at each other and understood that he was saying Greyhound, and the only Greyhound bus stop in town was at this gas station a few miles down the road. It was cold and windy out and we had some spare time so we told him to jump in.

Initially thoughts run through your head and you wonder… I wonder whats in that suitcase…is he going to put a knife to my neck from behind the seat… kilos of coke from Mexico because this is South Texas?… a chopped up body?…but as we began to drive I saw the sigh of relief through the rear view mirror and realized this kid is just happy for a ride. When we got to the gas station, my friend walked in and double checked everything to make sure it was the right spot but to our surprise the final bus for Houston left for the day. The next bus at 6:00 p.m. was in a town 25 miles over. We tried explaining this to him, I should have payed more attention in the Spanish I and II they forced us to take in High School. The only words I can really say are si and comprende. My friend and I said f*ck it lets drop him off, and turned to him and said ” listen we are going to eat first making hand gestures showing spoons entering mouth and we will drop you off after” but homeboy was still clueless and kept nodding.

We already ordered Chinese food and began driving in that direction and when we got there, he got out of the car and went to the trunk as if the Chinese Restaurant was the bus stop. We tell him to come in and eat something first, leave the suitcase in the car. He is still clueless. When we go in, our food was already ready. We decided to eat there so he could eat as well. When the hostess came over, she looked spanish so I asked her I was like hey listen we picked this guy up from the street, he missed his bus and the next one is 25 miles over can you tell him that after we are done eating we will drop him off its ok no problems… and she was kinda taken by it and laughed, translated it to the guy, and for the next 10 mins all he kept saying was thank you. After we jumped into the car, I turned to him in the back and was like listen its 25 miles, I’m rolling a spliff, do you smoke? He still had no clue, but when we sparked it up, and passed it his way he smoked it like a champ. He had very broken English, but said he was from Ecuador and he was in America looking for a job to make money for his family back home. Like I said he was prob 20-21 years old. Shorly after, we arrived at our destination, and said farewell. Dropped him off at some store where he would have to sit on a bench outside for the next hour.. but I did my best. I hope he made it to wherever he had to go.

My man got picked up, fed sweet and sour chicken, smoked a spliff and got a ride to a location 30 mins away. I hope he will do the same for someone else one day.”

#9. Thank you for your service

“I was driving home for Christmas from college once and about 30 miles from home, at an intersection on the outskirts of a mid-size town, I saw what was unmistakably a body. It lay some distance from the road on a snowy field, motionless. I pulled over, walked to the edge of the road, and called out “Hey, are you okay?” not expecting an answer but I had no idea what to do — I had no cell phone and it was quiet and freezing, and I was alone.

As soon as I called out, a head popped up out of the snow. A dude dressed in a soldier uniform carrying a big rucksack starts running at me full-tilt, yelling “Ride? ride?” I was thoroughly freaked but told him of course and he got in. I cranked the heat to try to warm him up and we started down the road, while he shook and shook.

It turned out he was heading for my tiny hometown where his wife was living, but couldn’t find any bus or train routes that directly connected to it (it’s really just a bump in the road). He’d been out there in the cold for quite a while before getting too cold and tired to even stand. A uniformed soldier couldn’t get anyone to stop and give him a ride in winter on a rural road. The only reason that made any sense, although neither of us said it, was because he was a very dark-skinned man and my hometown’s in a very white state. It made me feel sad and ashamed.

I also felt ashamed because I was scared of him too. I’d been in sketchy situations with dudes, and every time I felt so stupid, and now I was driving alone with a man who’d been a corpse in my mind just moments before. I started to hear a True Crimes narrator in my head saying “Her family was waiting for her by the Christmas tree, but she was never seen again…” blah blah blah. So I was scared, and hating myself for being stupid, and also hating myself for being scared just like every other jerk who’d left him there to freeze.

I started leaning heavier and heavier on the gas pedal and then, out of nowhere, there were police lights in my rearview pulling me over. I was dumb enough to be relieved until the cop shined his light on us, made a face, and then shined his light on the soldier’s bag where an open container of Jack sat clearly visible. I explained, in my scared little white girl way, that I didn’t know it was there, that I didn’t know the man in my car, but he’d been freezing by the road and I was just trying to get us both home…and that f*cker went and wrote me a ticket. Then he drove off in the opposite direction, instead of taking the soldier home himself or following us on the desolate road to be sure everything was okay. My internal monologue started right up again: “At 4:53 pm, her vehicle was pulled over by Officer Dickhead, who observed a large male in her passenger seat. Dickhead was the last person to see her alive. Now he’s being sued by the grieving family for 1 billion dollars.” Then I looked at the soldier’s face, and it was sadder and more scared than mine.

Soon enough we get to my little town, and I drive him to his wife’s house. We’ve barely spoken, but he takes out a fistful of cash and insists on paying for the ticket. I started crying, but he wouldn’t let me give it back.

When I got to my family and tried to tell them what happened they just gave me that all-too-familiar you’re too stupid to live look, because obviously I’d narrowly escaped certain death by picking up a man who would have certainly been dead otherwise. For the life of me, I don’t know why I told them. I knew better.

I still stop when someone needs help, and I’ve been lucky that people have always stopped for me. I live 2500 miles from my hometown now–in Oregon, as a matter of fact, where rhoner just become my favorite neighbor I don’t know. I don’t go back for holidays. I like Christmas a lot more these days.”

#8. Like a hero

“I picked up a hitch-hiker on his way to his sister’s wedding. I got some wedding cake out of it. The bride treated me like a hero.”

#7. Godspeed, Garth

“I’ve picked up numerous hitchikers but one in particular stands out. His name was Garth. Garth was a hell of dude with a hell of a story. This is the encounter between my friends and Garth.

After graduating high school, myself and 4 friends decided to take a long road trip over the summer and Glacier National Park was our Mecca for the trip. We found ourselves camping in the middle of nowhere in the woods of NW Montana, some 25 miles north of Missoula. We camped illegally and got drunk and stoned and pretty much stayed up all night.

In the morning, I woke up in the drivers seat of my car to see some dude walking by in the road which was 40 yards away from our campsite. The guy walking couldn’t see us just passing by but I could see him. I was still half drunk so I decided to yell at him, not even thinking that it could be the owner of the land that we were illegally camping on. He did a 180 and stared straight at me and began walking towards me. He had a single backpack, a big tree limb for a walking stick and looked exhausted and hungry. He looked like the Big Lebowski mixed with Saul from Pineapple Express but acted like someone who had just had their ass kicked, mentally and physically. He looked like someone had suck his soul out of him. My friends had heard me yelling for him so they had stirred awake to find to their surprise, Garth sitting in one of our lawnchairs eating our stale Doritos like he hadn’t eaten anything in days. We would later learn that was actually true.

It was about 10 AM by the time we decided to leave the campsite and head back to Missoula to find food. Garth hopped in the car and began to tell his story of how he ended up in the middle of nowhere Montana. He sat shotgun and talked while my friend sat behind him, ready for Garth to try to kill us or something crazy. The story that Garth told us was f*cking crazy. It basically went something like this. Some dude he met in Missoula promised him some work on his land. Apparently, the guy bought some land and needed some trees and brush cleared so he could start building a house. He said he would let Garth stay on his land for the night and meet him their in the morning with some tools and some food so they could work all day to clear this brush. Well, one day went by, then another…..and another and another. The guy never showed up and Garth was on this guy’s land for 5 F*CKING DAYS WITH NO FOOD OR SHELTER. He luckily had a stream of water on “his land” that Garth drank to keep hydrated but catching food was next to impossible. He said he could hear coyotes very close to him at night and one morning he woke up to a Bull Moose 30 yards away from, snorting and stomping it’s hooves on the ground, ready to charge. Garth ran up a tree and stayed there for the rest of the day.

He said he didn’t want to leave the land because he had no idea where he was and he was hoping that the guy would show up to take him back to town. It wasn’t until this particular morning that he said he was so hungry and cold that he thought he was going to die if he didn’t start walking somewhere. Garth said he started following a logging road with the hope it would lead him somewhere. He had been walking all night with no signs of anything. He actually thought he was walking in circles. He said that the coyotes were howling and he was the most scared he had ever been in his life. We were the first sign of people he had seen in almost 6 days.

After told us this story we were said we wanted to buy him a lunch and some beers and a coat. He immediately declined…he seemed embarrassed by the situation, especially because some 18 year olds were going to buy him this stuff. We understood where he was coming from but this guy just had 6 days of hell in the woods and he deserved a hot meal. He finally said he would eat lunch with us so we took him to a chinese buffet were he ate down 4 fat plates, LIKE A BOSS!

After lunch he asked us to take him to the homeless shelter in town so he could get a shower and get a bed for the night. We agreed and took him across town to drop him off. The car ride over was quiet, mainly because Garth dosed off, probably from his exhaustion. He was still sleeping when we got to the homeless shelter. We woke him up and he thanked us a million times and stumbled into the shelter. My friends and I were floored by his story. We didn’t say much as we hit the road north to Glacier National Park, until we noticed something on the floor by the front seat. His f*cking BACKPACK.

We were 40 miles north of town and didn’t even think about what to do. We pulled over and turned around to take his backpack to him at the shelter. We contemplated opening it for a good 15 minutes. We thought it would be wrong and that we wouldn’t want someone to do that to our pack. But our curiosity got the best of us and we decided to open it. Garth was to EPIC to not find out what he had in there to aid in his wilderness adventure. We joked about what would be in there – a bloody knife, a head, some sort of body part. What we found was truly unbelievable. We found out that Garth was Bi-Polar and Diabetic based on his medications. He had some oral glucose gel to combat his low blood sugar, a blood sugar machine and zoloft (anti-depressant). It blew my mind that this man, a diabetic would even think about staying in the woods for this long while knowing he was a Diabetic. We also found a notebook that had some sketches and writings, mainly about his travels around the pacific northwest. I wanted to read more but we had reached the shelter to return his pack.

Garth was a f*cking man if i had ever met one. We thought he could use a little help so we put $100 in his pack before we gave it back to him. He was inside sitting at a table when we arrived with his pack. I held out the pack and just said, “I think you forgot something man”. He stood up and ran over to me, grabbed it and then gave me a huge bear hug and started crying. He told me, while he was hugging me, that he thought that he had just lost everything he owned after we dropped him off. It was weird but I felt like I had to hug him back, so I did. He followed us back out to our car and thanked us again and offered us a cup of coffee, we declined and said we had to be on our way to get there before dark. He understood and even offered to take a look at our car’s oil and other stuff before we headed out! We said no, said goodbye and drove off to the corner.

We were stuck at a traffic light and I could still see him in the review mirror, probably 50-60 yards behind us. He knelt down to dig through his backpack. He took out his glucometer, his notebook and then the $100 we had put in there. He saw it and started running after us, either to thank us or to try to give it back. The light turned green and we drove off before he got to us. I stood out the car window gave him a wave and a Peace Sign. He responded with a salute and the biggest smile I’ve ever seen. We drove off and we never saw him again.

This was our encounter with Garth, the world’s manliest hobo. Wherever you are Garth, Godspeed my good man!”

#6. Hitching is a common language

“I live in Japan and I once picked up two guys hitchking. They had come from Okinawa (at the very southern end), hitched all the way up to Hokkaido and were now hitching back. When I dropped them off they gave me a candy bar, and we posed for photos because they were collecting pictures of everyone who gave them lifts along the way.

This was kinda a pay it forward thing for me, because in Australia our Japanese exchange student got lost one time and some random guy picked him up and drove him to our house, dropped him off and drove off again without ever saying anything. This kid spoke NO English either.”

#5. Always be the crazier one

“I use to give rides but I have since stopped after one crazy encounter. I picked up this young white dude who was probably around 20-25 on the outskirts of Memphis heading South. I was on my way home from work so it was late in the afternoon. I typically stopped on the way home and got a six pack. From time to time I’d crack open a cold one for the ride since it was the better part of an hour. The young man said he had been hitching since California and was on his way to his sister’s in Florida with a job lined up at Disney. I asked him how his journey had been thus far to which he started in on why he left California. This is also when I realized this dude was bat sh*t crazy and I needed to drop him off sooner rather than later.

He tells me how his wife cheated on him with a lawyer and eventually left and divorced him for said lawyer. After the wife/lawyer team cleaned him out he decided to get the f*ck out of California as the lawyer was using his connections to try and get dude thrown in jail. Then he described how the lawyer had hired private eyes and other none savory types to try and entrap him as he crossed the country. He even said a one man whirly bird had followed him across most of Arkansas and he had to travel at night to avoid being spotted by it. The further he got into the story the more agitated he seemed to become. It was troubling to say the least.

I always carried a pistol in my truck and it was easily with in reach but I figured my best bet to avoid being stabbed by this dude was to out crazy him. I cracked open a brew, offered him one and started with my story I was making up as I went. I told him I knew how he must feel having been cheated on. I went on that I’d been out of the joint for about 6 months and was adjusting well. He asked me what I was in for and I told him I’d gotten really drunk, blacked out and when I came to I had went crazy with a box cutter on my ex and the dude she was cheating on me with. He got really quiet and didn’t really say anything else until we got to my town. I dropped him off at the truck stop near the interstate and never saw him again.

TL;DR Out crazied a hitch hiker and most likely won’t be picking up another one.”

#4. Gardening supplies ftw?

“My husband and I were leaving the grocery store and witnessed a big dramatic mulch theft. Yes, someone grabbed a bag of mulch, tossed it in their jeep and sped off, tires squealing, jumping curbs…it was confusing and hilarious. The high school clerks were mostly indifferent, but there were a couple employees freaking out and running after the jeep. Then we turn around and there is this girl standing there with her jaw hanging open, and holding a box of donuts. She just looks at us and says/demands “I need a ride. I don’t know why he just did that. That’s my cousin.” The employees who were freaking out, kind of turn and start coming toward her now that the jeep is gone. So we were like “uh..ok lets go.” She lived like 2 miles away in the mobile home park, sure enough the jeep was parked in the drive. For some reason her cousin just totally ditched her for a $4 bag of mulch.”

#3. Mind your business

“My roommate (a straight laced, straight-A girl) and I were at the college grocery one night at about 1AM buying foodstuffs, when a very skinny woman approached me. She said, she and her husband had their car repossessed in the lot, and will I give them a ride to their apartment (about 3 miles away). So, I tell them, “sure, let me finish up,” and I’ll give them a ride.

My roommate was having none of it, and was very upset. I told her, “it’s okay, sh*t happens to people, sometimes you should just be nice.”

So, we finish at the checkout, get the bags and the people, go to my car, and drive them to the apartment. They get out, no harm done.

About 2 weeks later, I’m back at the grocery with my roommate, and the same woman with a different man comes up. Same story, car repossessed, etc. I tell them, “sure I’ll give you a ride, just don’t lie. He’s not your husband, you used this line on me a couple of weeks ago. I don’t know what he is, and I don’t want to know, but sure I’ll do it.” She was taken aback, and seemed surprised, but accepts anyway.

Again, roommate is pissed, again no incidents.

I suspect the woman was a prostitute, and these were her Johns, but who am I to judge. As long as they don’t hurt anyone, I don’t care.”

#2. In the genes

“I have. I picked up a guy down in Dayton and drove him 30 miles north. He smelled funny but was nice. He was telling me about this driver in Tennessee who purposely hit him with their car. He had a huge gash on his arm it looked knarly. As chance would have it I had recently got a piercing so I had a tube of neosporin with me it wasn’t much but I gave it to him when I dropped him off. I was a tad nervous picking up an older male hitchhiker since I am a female and at the time I was maybe 19 but I am glad I did it. When I was younger my mom brought home 2 hitchhikers and they stayed with us for a few days….so maybe it’s genetic.”

#1. Grab the tissues

“Just about every time I see someone I stop. I kind of got out of the habit in the last couple of years, moved to a big city and all that, my girlfriend wasn’t too stoked on the practice. Then some sh*t happened to me that changed me and I am back to offering rides habitually. If you would indulge me, it is long story and has almost nothing to do with hitch hiking other than happening on a road.

This past year I have had 3 instances of car trouble. A blow out on a freeway, a bunch of blown fuses and an out of gas situation. All of them were while driving other people’s cars which, for some reason, makes it worse on an emotional level. It makes it worse on a practical level as well, what with the fact that I carry things like a jack and extra fuses in my car, and know enough not to park, facing downhill, on a steep incline with less than a gallon of fuel.

Anyway, each of these times this sh*t happened I was DISGUSTED with how people would not bother to help me. I spent hours on the side of the freeway waiting, watching roadside assistance vehicles blow past me, for AAA to show. The 4 gas stations I asked for a gas can at told me that they couldn’t loan them out “for my safety” but I could buy a really sh*tty 1-gallon one with no cap for $15. It was enough, each time, to make you say sh*t like “this country is going to hell in a handbasket.”

But you know who came to my rescue all three times? Immigrants. Mexican immigrants. None of them spoke a lick of the language. But one of those dudes had a profound affect on me.

He was the guy that stopped to help me with a blow out with his whole family of 6 in tow. I was on the side of the road for close to 4 hours. Big jeep, blown rear tire, had a spare but no jack. I had signs in the windows of the car, big signs that said NEED A JACK and offered money. No dice. Right as I am about to give up and just hitch out there a van pulls over and dude bounds out. He sizes the situation up and calls for his youngest daughter who speaks english. He conveys through her that he has a jack but it is too small for the Jeep so we will need to brace it. He produces a saw from the van and cuts a log out of a downed tree on the side of the road. We rolled it over, put his jack on top, and bam, in business. I start taking the wheel off and, if you can believe it, I broke his tire iron. It was one of those collapsible ones and I wasn’t careful and I snapped the head I needed clean off. F*ck.

No worries, he runs to the van, gives it to his wife and she is gone in a flash, down the road to buy a tire iron. She is back in 15 minutes, we finish the job with a little sweat and cussing (stupid log was starting to give), and I am a very happy man. We are both filthy and sweaty. The wife produces a large water jug for us to wash our hands in. I tried to put a 20 in the man’s hand but he wouldn’t take it so I instead gave it to his wife as quietly as I could. I thanked them up one side and down the other. I asked the little girl where they lived, thinking maybe I could send them a gift for being so awesome. She says they live in Mexico. They are here so mommy and daddy can pick peaches for the next few weeks. After that they are going to pick cherries then go back home. She asks if I have had lunch and when I told her no she gave me a tamale from their cooler, the best f*cking tamale I have ever had.

So, to clarify, a family that is undoubtedly poorer than you, me, and just about everyone else on that stretch of road, working on a seasonal basis where time is money, took an hour or two out of their day to help some strange dude on the side of the road when people in tow trucks were just passing me by. Wow…

But we aren’t done yet. I thank them again and walk back to my car and open the foil on the tamale cause I am starving at this point and what do I find inside? My f*cking $20 bill! I whirl around and run up to the van and the guy rolls his window down. He sees the $20 in my hand and just shaking his head no like he won’t take it. All I can think to say is “Por Favor, Por Favor, Por Favor” with my hands out. Dude just smiles, shakes his head and, with what looked like great concentration, tried his hardest to speak to me in English:

“Today you…. tomorrow me.”

Rolled up his window, drove away, his daughter waving to me in the rear view. I sat in my car eating the best f*cking tamale of all time and I just cried. Like a little girl. It has been a rough year and nothing has broke my way. This was so out of left field I just couldn’t deal.

In the 5 months since I have changed a couple of tires, given a few rides to gas stations and, once, went 50 miles out of my way to get a girl to an airport. I won’t accept money. Every time I tell them the same thing when we are through:

“Today you…. tomorrow me.”

h/t: Reddit 

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10 People Share Examples of Double Standards That Ruin Things for All of Us

In this day and age of feminism and “wokeness,” it’s sometimes hard to believe that double standards still exist. At least, I’ve heard that’s the case if you’re a man.

If you’re a woman, these 10 incidents probably aren’t going to surprise you. But they’re still going to make you mad.

#10. Reverse ageism is a thing

“Search my bag as I leave the store? How about all the older people than myself that you let stroll on by without bag checking?

At my workplace the only people I’ve ever seen shoplift or attempt to shoplift are those over 50.”

#9. Hypocrisy is the worst

“Anything involving politics. Obama/Hillary does a thing the right goes nuts, Trump/Bush did the same thing the right makes excuses. The left does the same thing. They are so oblivious to their hypocrisy it is maddening. Or they excuse their parties actions because the other party did it before or still does it. If it is wrong it is wrong no matter which side does it ffs!”

#8. Thin skin abounds

“Someone being able to poke fun at you but then can’t handle it when they’re the one being poked fun at back.”

#7. Let people be

“As someone whos underweight and has a hard time gaining weight, nothing pisses me off like how people feel its okay to make fun of my weight, body proportions, etc. But god forbid the same was done for someone overweight.”

#6. Give respect/get respect

“My father is always yelling at us (don’t worry, I’m 17 and almost out of here), but when I (or really anyone) tries to talk to him, he gets angry and accuses me of having “an attitude”. I get that I need to stay calm and all, and I do. But for real. Am I really the one with an attitude here?”

#5. I married the babysitter

“Woman taking care of her children without her partner = nothing special.

Man taking care of his children without his partner = babysitting.

A man taking care of his own children is doing nothing more special, heroic, or out his range of normal skills and duties than a woman. You don’t “babysit” your own children.”

#4. Dog days

“Nobody bats an eye when my dog takes a dump in the middle of a park while staring at a group of kids, but everyone loses their minds when I do it”

#3. Be successful anyway

“Most girls are okay with being in a relationship where the guy is more financially or academically or whatever successful, but most guys are uncomfortable and intimidated if the tables are turned.”

#2. Score a point for the men

“Woman: here are things about you I don’t like, you need to change.

Man: Ok, here are some things you should change.

Woman: if you can’t accept me for who I am then maybe we shouldn’t be together.”

#1. Rinse and repeat

“Stereotypes are bad.”

“Everyone from the South are a bunch of hillbilly racist KKK Nazis.”

h/t: Reddit

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15 Southpaws Reveal Why Being Left-Handed Is Secretly Awesome

My grandfather was a lefty and proud of it. He had all sorts of left-handed novelty gifts, and his favorite was a picture that said “if the right half of the brain controls the left half of the body, then only left-handed people are in their right minds.”

I have to think that these 15 lefties would approve.

#15. Perhaps not applicable now, but still interesting

“The spiral staircases in medieval towers always have the centre to your right when you’re climbing, so that right-handed swordsmen have less space to swing while the defenders have much more. If you’re left handed, that’s one less defence to deal with. I mean, you’re still fighting on stairs, the enemy still has the high ground and losing your balance might break your neck, but hey, at least you can stab them.”

#14. Kinda jealous

“I’m left handed but learned to use the internet my freshman year of high school in 1994-1995 and the mouse was on the right. So I learned to use a mouse right handed. My computer for a long time has been a laptop with a trackpad but if I have a mouse, I can still use my computer and write notes, eat, or whatever with my dominant hand while still using the mouse with my right hand.”

#13. Cheaters beware

“Throwing people off. There have been times where I’ve been writing and I’ve caught people staring a few times with disoriented expressions, like they know something’s off but aren’t sure what. Also, keeping people from cheating off me. My hand covers my answers as I write.

Edit: wanted to add this. When I’m drawing in Photoshop, I can hold a stylus in my left hand and a mouse in my right.”

#12. A double advantage

“When holding hands with my girlfriend, both our strong hands are free, (I’m a lefty she’s a righty)

Also some studies show among college educated people, lefties make 10-15% more money than right handed people.

Check out the handedness Wikipedia page for some interesting facts about right and left handed people.”

#11. More elbow room

 “I almost always get the seat at the end of the table when eating because nobody wants to bump elbows with me”

#10. Keep the good one clean

“don’t have to get your good hand dirty when shaking hands”

#9. Fun fact.

“We have higher-than-average representations among U.S. presidents.”

#8. Too bad it doesn’t work on planes

“I’m not in school anymore but when I was and took standardized tests and the ACT/SAT I got to sit in a corner all by myself so others wouldn’t see my paper. I had unlimited legroom and nobody beside me distracting me. Now being left-handed is just a conversation starter with no huge benefits.”

#7. Lovers and fighters

“There are two distinct advantages of being left handed. The first one is that because most people are right handed, you can usually face your lover in bed, and you both have your “good” hand free.

The other advantage comes to fighting. Most people are not expecting to get hit with a power left. By always postering my body as a right hander and having my left foot forward, most people are expecting for me to step into a right swing. But instead I fake with my right and give them my best power left. They never see it coming. It’s usually one punch and done.”

#6. Well, there’s that

“My husband calls my hand jobs “exotic” because it is a different hand”

#5. It’s like meeting another person with a third nipple

“The feeling of camaraderie with other fellow lefties.”

#4. Sports authority

“In baseball lefty’s usually can throw a curveball without even trying. When I was in high school everbody thought I had some super secret grip I used to make the ball do crazy things. In reality I was just trying to throw it straight but the ball had a mind of its own.”

#3. How handy

“Opening bottles/containers!

I always wondered why my mom and sister had such a hard time opening them and just attributed it to laziness.

Well, almost all bottle/container caps open in a counter-clockwise fashion, which goes with the natural motion of the left-hand. That means it’s easier for lefties to open things!

Of course, that means it’s harder for lefties to close them as well (in a clockwise fashion). But even then, caps open/close relatively easily after the initial opening, so the master race doesn’t even lose out much!”

#2. A disappearing advantage

“In the US, toll booths are pretty easy for lefties.”

#1. Interesting sparring

There’s a slight advantage in kickboxing (and other martial arts I guess) as we essentially learn to fight ambidextrous. Most right-handed kickboxers are at a noticeable disadvantage when they have to switch their stance, often make mistakes, etc. But that’s just what I’ve observed in lower tier boxers.

h/t: Reddit

The post 15 Southpaws Reveal Why Being Left-Handed Is Secretly Awesome appeared first on UberFacts.

These 15 True Confessions Will Make Your Jaw Drop

Sometimes, you just have to get something off your chest – even if it’s anonymously to strangers on the internet.

In fact, if these 15 confessions were yours, that would definitely be the way to go about it. Because wow.

#15. Confusing family heirloom

“My grandfather is dead and has been since before I was born. He sexually abused my mother as a child. I didn’t know about this for a long time (until recently).

My mother gave me his wedding ring and I’ve worn it for a number of years as my wedding ring. During a shitton of family drama which I might post about separately when I’m not so exhausted, my mother revealed this fact to me and I shared it with my wife (which is not part of the drama). I knew before at some point; I don’t know when. I was in denial of the fact.

I am really feeling conflicted about this. I’ve always viewed it as my ring, and not his, so I want to keep it. Part of me wants to replace it. My wife views the ring as something sinister, and wants to get me a new ring.

We’re both very confused about why my mother gave me this ring. She hasn’t spoken to me much about her abuse, but my sibling says she thinks highly of her father still, which is very confusing towards me. I’m also worried about getting rid of it because I don’t want to hurt my relationship with my mother, which has really taken a heavy beating because of something she said as part of the aforementioned family drama.”

#14. Worth it

“I received a call from my oldest daughter crying. She told me our dog got out and she didn’t know what to do. I had about an hour and a half of work left today. The owner of the company was out so I told the other staff member I needed to go my dog is lost.

I am creeping along my neighborhood, driving down every where looking for my little dog. My phone rings, it is my boss. She said she didn’t appreciate me leaving, that my kids will get over it that it builds character for them, and if I didn’t come back, I didn’t have a job.

I choose to not go back.

Quick edit here:

I just wanted to thank everyone for the support and kind words. I have no regret for my kids and my dog, but the situation left me with a lot of mixed feelings. Thank you all again for boosting my confidence in what I also felt was right.”

#13. Stockholm Syndrome

“I am a married man, currently 28 years old. I would not consider myself being a homosexual due to the fact that I am only largely attracted to women. Just to make it known.

6 years ago, I was kidnapped by a man aged around 40. He grabbed me after a night of wild partying that I had.

He held me captive for 2 nights. Was taken on a Friday night and released on Sunday. It was my first time having sex with a man.

He did not treat me well, but apart from the rape, he never physically abused me either. I was bound and gagged most of the time and was only briefly untied during meals or shower.

Throughout the entire period I was kidnapped, he forced himself on me for at least 8 times. He made me do plenty of sexual acts but none of them degrading or inhuman.

On the Sunday night, he told me he’s going to let me go, but if I ever tell anyone, he’d come for me again.

Just before he dropped me off, he actually kissed me on the lips, and due to the relief, I actually didn’t resist.

When I think back about it, I somehow do not harbor any resentment or ill feelings for what he did to me. In fact I do wish I could meet him again in the future.

Stockholm Syndrome of which I totally do not have any clue as to how and why it developed.

Thank you for reading. It feels good being able to share this in great detail for the first time after it happened. Not many would understand.”

#12. Ex-files

“So I’m 36 and have been married since 30, and dating my wife since 26. Wife is “Anne.” I love Anne completely and have never been such good friends with anyone.

Girl who died, “Kate,” died last March from an overdose of alcohol and drugs. We dated from when I was 21 until 25. On and off, always very tumultuous. But I had real, intense feelings of love for her. This one July afternoon stands out in my mind. It was just her and me, the rest of the world could have exploded and I would have been happy.

Anyway.

They found Kate three days after she died, and had to break down the door to her apartment. The only reason anyone knew anything was wrong was that she didn’t show up for work. She was 37.

I know all these details because her ex-fiance called me. I had been texting Kate up until the day before she died. The last text she sent me was on a Sunday, when she asked whether I’d be visiting her city anytime soon. I didn’t respond till Tuesday or Wednesday, and then started getting calls from a strange number after I kept texting. When I finally picked up it was Kate’s ex.

What Anne doesn’t know is that I was in regular contact with Kate up until the day before she died. Once a month or whatever, just to check in. On a trip to Kate’s city about nine months before her death (don’t worry, no pregnancy, just happened to be nine months) we had gone out to dinner. I changed out of my suit in her apartment before we went out, and she gave me a blue plastic hanger for my dress shirt. That was the last time I saw her.

I never “got over” Kate. We stopped seeing each other because our lifestyles weren’t compatible. She loved partying, drinking, taking risks and experimenting with drugs. I used to love those things but got over it once I got serious about grad school. I don’t think either one of us “ended it,” we just drifted apart. I wanted to succeed in my career and start a family. But I never stopped loving her.

Anne knows about my relationship with Kate and knows she died. She knows how she died. She even knows I’m sad. And she knows that Kate and I kept in touch! Hell, they even met a few times. And she’s okay with it. Both Anne and I had previous relationships where we deeply cared for the other person and we’re very open about it.

Anne doesn’t know how closely I continued to hold Kate. Or how often we talked. Or that we had dinner in the summer of 2016. I worried about Kate and would talk to her often.

She also doesn’t know how much her death truly affected me. I don’t think I did either. A year later I am having ecstatic dreams where I realize Kate is alive after all. I find myself tenderly stroking her blue plastic hanger, which of course I saved and use on my favorite shirt.

I am not sure why I feel the need to hold this all from my wife. I guess it’s because I never really fell out of love with Kate. Of course I am in love with Anne too and would be just as devastated of she passed away, if not much, much more.

I just needed to write this all down. I have been having these deeply painful moments where I realize that I will never speak to Kate again, or touch her, or smell her hair. This was fine with me while she was alive but for some reason is now very emotional and painful after her death.

Thanks for reading all that… just writing it out makes me feel better.”

#11. Disappointed and tired

“When I met my husband, we were both coming out of abusive relationships. We were there for each other and helped each other so much. Our relationship moved really fast but everything felt right and perfect, we never fought, we liked all the same music, movies, made each other laugh. It was the best relationship I could imagine.

After we got married everything was even better. We talked about starting a family but we both went back and forth, hmm’ed and haww’ed about it. Then we got pregnant due to a broken condom. We’d been together 5 years at that point I figured it was the universe giving us the kick in the ass we needed.

My husband told me he was excited but never did anything to show me he was excited. He never read one baby book. Never came to any prenatal appointments even though I told him when they were and encouraged him to come. Didn’t help me pick out names, only shot down names I came up with. Didn’t help me out more when I got bigger and more sore. I had to dig our mailbox and driveway out of the snow when I was 6 months pregnant because he “got home from work too late” (mailman was threatening to quit delivering for days). Never rubbed my back or feet, never texted to ask how my day was going/how I was feeling with nasuasea or whatever. I fell down the stairs when I was around 32 weeks and it took him 3 hours to even text me back. Didn’t come to the dr office when I started bleeding randomly.

After my baby was born my husband took 2 days off (even though he had over 3 weeks PTO accrued) and then I was on my own. He CHOOSES to work 12-14 hours a day, then works from home when he is here. I didn’t sleep through the night until my baby was 10 months old, I’d been living off of 2-5 broken hours of sleep since she was born. My husband has never ONCE woken up at night to help me, even when I’ve been bawling my eyes out begging him to wake up and help me, please take over for a while. Oh, and I’d been back to work since 12 weeks too so it’s not like I’ve been a stay at home and he’s the only one bringing in money.

He thinks because he cleans the kitchen and cleans the floors on the weekend he is doing his fair share. Yeah, no. The mental load of keeping our family running that I carry, as well as my stress of working, and doing it essentially by myself is way more than a couple chores on the weekend. Even though he makes more than me I pay for ALL of the baby’s expenses.

I want to go back to school to be able to get a better job in order to support myself and my daughter totally and completely. Starting this fall, it’s happening. I’ve talked my husbands ear off for the past 2 fucking years begging him to change and I’m sick of talking. You can only agree with me and then make zero changes so many times before I start to move on. I thought I met my soulmate but I was wrong. Another disappointment and a deadbeat dad. He doesn’t do shit with our daughter. When I ask him to spend time with her he puts on little baby bums and sits on his phone.

I come from a history of abuse and I feel like all the wounds that had healed over have been ripped back open. I am broken hearted and every day I am in pain, feeling like I ruined my life and my daughters life. THe anger and resentment bubble up constantly and I am always fighting to keep it down. I didn’t want my life to turn out like this.”

#10. Picky and homeless

“My friend has been making post after post on Facebook about being homeless for a couple months. I offer my place since I’m gone for a work half the week.

Come to find out he makes $20000 more than I do. He’s homeless because he’s being extremely picky about where he wants live. I understand to a certain extent about having preferences for living situations. He wants a place where his son can come visit easily. I understand that. But he’s choosing to live in car until he finds the perfect place. That I do not understand. He could easily rent a room for a couple months until he finds a better place.

He stopped staying at my place after a couple nights because he said he felt weird about it. But I still can’t stop wondering why someone would choose to live in their car over just getting a room somewhere.”

#9. Too late to learn?

“This is not due to lack of trying either. At this point, I’m too scared to learn. I had a horrible experience while trying to learn when I was 17, and then had an even worse experience trying to learn when I was 23.

My parents both worked long hours, so I never really got a chance to go anywhere to learn as a kid.

When I was 17, I went to my then-girlfriend/now-wife’s backyard pool almost everyday during the early summer of that year. I could swim underwater, but I couldn’t keep myself afloat on the surface. While trying to learn one day, my g/f’s younger brother had some friends come over, unbeknownst to me. They saw me struggling in the pool and laughed. My being an emotionally challenged teenager, I exited the water and stopped trying.

Fast forward to age 23. My wife’s older brother invited us to a lake. I stayed in the shallow parts, doing my best to float around on the surface. By then, everyone knew I couldn’t swim and weren’t mocking me.

My BIL suggested I put on my life vest and hop in his boat. I was the only one who hadn’t ridden in the boat yet, and he said it’d be safe. Dumbest suggestion followed by my dumber acceptance.

I fell off the boat due to being tipsy and sitting where I shouldn’t have been while he was speeding, and even though I had a life vest on, my face kept going underwater and my legs kept coming up. I thought I was going to drown. BIL didn’t even realize I had fallen off until he saw everyone on the shore waving at him to go back.

So yeah, it turns out I’m terrified of water now. Not enough to skip showers or avoid drinking water, but definitely enough to never swim.

TL;DR: Parents worked too often when I was younger, so never got a chance to go anywhere to learn. Got made fun of while learning in my late teen years when trying to learn and stupidly stopped because of it. Almost drowned in a lake in my early 20’s. Never tried again.”

#8. Everyone is different

“We recently had the VP visit my work, and my boss said about protesters “why are they protesting? He’s the VP, deal with it”, and everyone in the room went quiet and looked at me.

This is the thing. I can’t turn off my blackness. I can’t turn off my sexuality. I can’t turn off me.

This is what some white people don’t understand in my opinion. Your race can be anything they want. Anything. You can be republican, Democrat, gay, straight, a gamer, an artist. Anything.

Me. I am judged for having pre understood opinions about situations. About music. About clothing. About food. About everything.

You see, no matter what I said or did in that moment I was fucked. I couldn’t agree, because I would be seen as a person who doesn’t stand up in what they believe in. The person who is black but not really; the person that exists in the grey area of culturally acceptable yet not fully in the game.

Or disagree? Then I’m seen as that one black guy who can’t keep his opinions to himself. Who must make it all about race, and playing the race card to get ahead once again.

Why not just quit? You see, I work in one of the most prestigious places for my profession in the world. I can’t just quit. I can’t go somewhere a little less uncomfortable. And I love what I do, And I’ve done everything “right”. Got a perfect GPA in high school and college. Studied my ass off for years. I’m not quitting shit.

So what did I do? I Sat quietly while I felt the searing stares of “what is he thinking?” And honestly, deep down I f*cking hate pence, his “gay conversion therapy”, and his support of this racist, sexist President we have to deal with on the daily. But I’m professional and I don’t let politics come into work, yet, I feel like if anyone were to bring up their opinion, it would have had to been me.

So what do I dream of? I dream of a place where no one is judged for anything. I dream of a place where the clearly dominant race in our society can open their eyes a fucking little and see the results of oppression on the black community for hundreds of years. I’m the only black person on my entire floor. And I worked hard as fuck to get where I am, dealing with people thinking I’m not capable my entire life. That’s not ok. I’m not saying hire 50 black people who aren’t capable or deserving, but acknowledge the problem instead of saying we are just “complaining” and “I have it hard too, so deal with it”.

I guess real change is slow, but god damn I know I’m not crazy for these feelings, and how I know the world can be so much better. We could value everyone’s differences and use it to our advantage. Every culture. Every gender. Every sexuality. We all bring something to the table. Something that builds not destroys.

Maybe I’m asking for too much, but I don’t think so. I really don’t.

Edit: Thanks everyone so much for the kind words. It’s great to see grounded, smart discourse from all races in the comments here (and the messages from what I can only assume are from /r/the_donald subscribers are wonderful to read as well).

Thanks for the allies out there who understand the nuances of privilege and why it truly is a struggle for minorities on a variety of fronts in modern society. To all those who still disagree, I ask you to read some of these comments, many who are personal stories similar to mine, with an open heart full of empathy, and make a sincere attempt to relate with our frustration.

Thank you all so much.”

#7. Not ready

“I am a 17(F) in highschool. I’m a couple of months away from turning 18. I haven’t had a boyfriend in almost a year and I unfortunately still have feelings for him. I didn’t lose it to him because.. well.. I didn’t trust him. He had a bad history with his exes(cheating, manipulation, etc). When I would ask him about it he would turn the situation on me. I saw that as a red flag so I dropped him. I have a pretty rare personality and I don’t mean that in a condescending way. I have always had trouble finding people whom I geniunly get along with.

I want to lose my virginity to someone I completely connect with. I want to be stupidly in love with this person and if I have to wait a little bit longer then that’s fine by me. People keep pressuring me to do it already because I am almost 18. I get called picky, prude, and boring by my closest friends. Even my mom is starting to question me. Why can’t I do it when I want to do it? Sure, I get scared sometimes that I might never lose it and sometimes I do get very lonely but I refuse to settle.

I know this person is out there somewhere. Call me a hopeless romantic but I’ll find him. Someday.”

#6. Hard to believe

“I just got an internship for a big tech company, and today I started crying while reading the employee benefits handout.

I always considered myself average. Strictly average. I never saw myself achieving anything big. I figured big opportunities were for smart people, for hard-working people, for people who deserved it. And I never saw myself as any of those. I only saw myself scraping by college, taking what I could get. Hoping that I didn’t fall behind and disappoint my parents.

But now, I got this internship. During the whole process, I was waiting for them to drop me. I completed multiple interviews, each time thinking about how badly it went, and would just think, “Oh well. It’s not like I deserve this internship anyway.”

Even when I got the congratulations letter, I told myself it was because I’m a female in a tech field, not because I actually deserve it. I told myself I was accepted as a claim to diversity, and that being happy over the internship would show that I’m too proud of skills that I don’t have.

I continually put myself down, but for some reason, reading the employee benefits made it feel so real. I realized that all the cool benefits that the “super smart” people at these big tech companies get were not some sort of unreachable level of life that I was destined to stay apart from since the day I was born. I’m there. I can be one of those people.

I’ve worked nonstop since I got to college and it really feels like it’s paying off. I feel like I’m breaking a barrier that seemed invincible. I’m so thankful for this opportunity and I can barely believe it’s my life. But I won’t tell myself that I’m achieving this out of diversity. I’m not achieving this out of pity. I worked for this. And it feels so good to have hard work show results.”

#5. Close call

“So this is quick and short but I can’t tell anyone so here it is. Wednesday while I was at work I had a heart attack. I am only 36 years old. Genetics are shit to say the least. So I Call an ambulance. So we’re onour way to the hospital, my chest, arm and jaw are in horrible pain. Called my parents let them know. Honestly I was scared as hell I was going to die. So I get to the hospital and they take me in, hook me up to an EKG.

Then it happens

I am starting to lose consciousness

As I am passing out I remember that I do not have a passcode on my phone set. This is important because I like some porn that is niche at best, I know I watched it this morning, and I know I didn’t clear my history. I don’t need my wife or parents seeing this stuff while I’m unconscious or dead.

So while I’m passing out. I gather all my strength to concentrate and turn on a passcode. Then hand my wife my phone right as the doctors whisk me off for surgery.

5 days later and no one is the wiser. Close call.”

#4. Just too awkward

“We have been friends for a long time and as a girl, I understood why you might not like younger guys, but come on! I don’t care who you date but please don’t put me in a situation where the first time I meet your 40 year old boyfriend is on our 2 week trip in Japan! We’ve been planning to go together and suddenly you tell me you’ve been dating a guy who’s 15 years older than you, who’s from the UK and you want to take him on our trip!? I’m happy you found someone you like, but that’s just too awkward, I don’t know him and can’t meet him, and suddenly we’ll all be stuck in a foreign country together where I’m supposed to show you guys around because I’m Japanese!? Nope nope nope nope.”

#3. Not a walk in the park

“I feel needy for wanting to talk about any of this even though I know that there’s nothing wrong with letting this off my chest.

We had an arranged marriage (me 25, him 27) almost two years back and now live in his parent’s house. His family are lovely.

My husband is a nice person at heart. But he doesn’t behave like a husband. We’ve been together for 18 months and to put bluntly, I want intimacy.

How has it been 18 months and he still hasn’t even laid a finger on me. Not even a peck on the cheeks, let alone sleeping together (obviously we sleep in the same bed but we don’t actually sleep together).

I want intimacy. I want to feel loved. Please, kiss me. Please, have sex with me. Anything. Why are you like this? I’ve even tried to make the first move but you turn me away.

What did I do wrong? What would you like me to do? You won’t say anything. You don’t want to talk about it.

Rather then treating me as your wife, you treat me like I’m a flatmate or something. We never had a honeymoon, we never go out on dates. Why? Why don’t you like me?

You’re kind, you’re funny, you make me laugh, you’re smart. You’re all of those things.

But why can’t you be my husband?”

#2. Proud papa

“Have to start off by saying that my dad is a rock. In a family with a history of mental illness and addiction, he has always been steadfast, never losing his cool, never losing control. He holds the family together.

And yesterday I made him cry. After being homebound for 3 years, struggling with severe depression and anxiety, I finally got myself a part time job in a children daycare. I got a text from my boss yesterday, because they wanted to commend me for how good I am with the kids, and how happy they are to have me onboard. I read the text aloud to my dad, and he started crying. He hugged me and told me how proud he is of me. The only other time I’ve seen him cry was when I tried to commit suicide. I feel accomplished and happy for the first time in many years.

Thank you for reading.

edit: all of you kind, wholesome people are almost making me tear up myself. Stay amazing everyone.”

#1. Amen, sister

“So I sent nude pics to my boyfriend (now ex) a long time ago… I don’t put my face in any of the pictures FYI. Anyways I broke up with him two weeks ago and now I get fake Instagram pages named like “expose.nudes” messaging me saying “get back with him or your nudes will be exposed”… Do what you want with them! Every girl has a vagina and everyone has seen a vagina at least once in their life and everyone has at least sent 1 nude photo before. Rather be exposed than be in a trapped relationship… cant break anyone that’s already been broken right?”

h/t: Reddit

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