Category: ask reddit

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10+ Times Bartenders Helped Women Stay Safe from Creeps at the Bar

Bartenders have long been the hallowed providers of libations and a sympathetic ear to your problems, but they’re also taking on an even more important duty – keeping women safe at the bar. Here are several great examples from AskReddit users. Cheers!

1. Tinder date

“I had to use it when on a date off tinder. We met up and he had already got me a drink just sat there (shot of something clear) and then said to me that I should do it then he would take me some where better for more fun. I wasn’t comfortable so excused my self to the bathroom and saw a poster that said about ask for Angela if you’re uncomfortable. Went to the bar and asked for Angela and immedietley this guy was playing along saying oh yeah she’s working in kitchen tonight he got me a taxi and walked me out the back door and into the taxi to make sure I got there without any hassle. Never saw the guy again.”

2. I’m a friend

“Working as a bartender and bouncer for the past couple years, I usually just try to watch for body language of people that are in the bar. If it looks like someone needs a quick escape, I’ll approach and pretend I’m an old friend that hasn’t seen them in a while, if they actually don’t need help, I can excuse myself by saying they look like a friend.

Either that, or I’ll try to position myself behind the questionable party and give a thumbs-up and cocked eyebrow as a sort of “You good?”.

Edit: Well, thank you to the people who commented on this comment, and thanks to whoever gave me gold! Really awesome of y’all.”

3. You’re not her boyfriend

“This is a relatively new thing, but us girls have been doing some form of it for a long time.

Back when I was a bartender, I noticed a girl stumble into the pool table. She was crying and clearly very intoxicated. I went over to ask if she was okay, and some guy I hadn’t seen her with all night jumps up and says, “I’m her boyfriend, I’ve got her.” No the f*ck you do not.

We got her to calm down and give us her phone to call her roommate so someone safe could take her home. It sucks that it’s necessary, but I’ll always love my boss from that bar because he threw that creep out, physically.

We saw her again. She didn’t have a boyfriend or remember that night.”

4. New to the area

“I went out on my own one night and was having a few drinks at a local pub. I had just moved to the area so didn’t really know anyone. A guy sat down next to me and was chatting. At first is was just casual but he eventually became really tipsy/handsy. Then the guy actually kissed me just out of the blue and I told him I was not ok with it. He said I was leading him on – which was not the case at all.

He got angry and stormed off to the washroom. I was feeling really uncomfortable and unsafe. I didn’t know my new neighborhood yet. The bartender saw that I was feeling off right away – he didn’t even know me but could tell. He asked if I wanted to be shown out the back door and if they could put me in a cab home so that I could go without the guy following me. They even paid – and apologized that I felt unsafe in their bar. I was totally blown away. I would totally go back there and feel completely taken care of.”

5. Chivalrous bouncer

“I’m a bouncer in a nightclub. No drink safewords but we actively keep an eye out for situations which don’t look above the radar. If a girl’s leaving with a guy and she looks too intoxicated to stand I’ll take her aside and ask what his name is and how she knows him. If she’s scared or needs help getting away from a bad situation I’ll call her a cab and walk her to it. I’ll also say to the bloke that I need to see some ID because ‘his entry stamp isn’t the right one’ as soon as I see it I’ll take a photo, pass it on to the police and ban him for life from out club.

We’ve built up a reputation as the safest nightclub in our area, which draws both crowds especially girls. It’s massively helped our business being so focused on safety.”

6. Creeper

“Had a creeper at a hotel bar who wouldn’t leave me alone despite my best efforts to ignore him. I even asked him politely and not so politely to “leave me alone”. He actually kept trying to touch me and told me that I was going to go to his room with him. He had a strange angry edge too. So I gave the bartender a “help me” look and said to him something like “I need to talk to you about that thing with my tab, remember?” and asked if could do it when the bar closed (which was like 5 minutes later).

He looked at me and said, “Give me a minute”, made a phone call and then said, “So, they can help you at the front desk”… meanwhile creeper is literally not leaving me alone is still trying to actually hang on me and keeps talking.

So I start to leave and creeper is trying to kiss me and pull me close but I tell him I have business at the front desk and walk to the front desk. About 3 employees were there and I said “The Bartender said you could help me with my tab?” And one of the employees says “oh, I need you to come here with me to fix that”. And she says to the guy “You need to stay here, this is personal business”. The employee (a woman) and I start to walk away and of course the creeper followed us. She actually walked me to a staff elevator and he tried to get on with us. She told him “Get out of here and leave us alone” as a male hotel employee came up to him just then and the elevator door shut. The employee walked me literally to my room door and stayed until I had it locked on the other side.

I have had (and still occasionally do have) guys hit on me but never anything like this incident. I actually wrote a long long email to the hotel corporate office and the actual hotel about the bartender and two employees because they helped me in what I would say was “above and beyond”… the guy really frightened me. I have been as brand loyal as possible to the hotel chain ever since.”

7. Take a hint

“Had a bar call 911 once after they bounced a guy who was creeping out a woman. He stood outside the bar and flat out said he was waiting for her until she came out, which he did. He started following her and told people they were together. I literally had to stand with this moron while this poor girl and her friends got into the car, and dipsh*t tried to stand really close so he could get the address.

I told the driver her address, but gave the address of the jail, which most taxis know, and he seemed to get the hint. Guy tried to complain later that we had “unlawfully detained” him just so he couldn’t get the girls number and address.

I mean… Yeah, basically that’s what we did. Move along.

Edit for clarification: I responded to the 911 call, I’m a police officer.”

8. Pretend you know me

“I’ve actually been used to escape by a random before. Was at a local bar with a bunch of friends and out of no where girl walks over, sits on my lap and between a teeth clenched smile just said “pretend to know me”. I laughed and loudly said “Hey you! Where’d you wonder off to?” Thankfully my friends picked up on it because inside of 10 seconds a few of my female friends were chatting with her and standing between her and the guy she’d fled.

I asked her after what about me made her know I was a safe person to turn to and she said “because you’re here with a bunch of women. Total honesty. Thought you were gay.” Lol.

Edit: holy crap. Welp. There goes my Reddit silver AND Gold cherry. Ya’ll are awesome.”

9. University town

“My university town had the highest incidents of sexual assault for 5 years in a row, the school and community took it really seriously and implemented procedures all over the place.

I asked my friend, who was a bouncer at my favorite bar/club, what happens when a girl orders the drink. He said it changes week to week in the ladies bathroom to confuse men when word gets out. You can use any of the former ones and the bartenders will jump into action.

Generally they find a way to get you away from that person whether it be a “phone call” or they need to show you something. Once you’re out of eye sight they whisk you away to the opposite floor of the place (bar is on the bottom, club is on the top) and keep the date occupied until your gone. If he gets away from his “company” they radio that the drink got spilled and every bouncer abandons their post to try and keep him away from you.

They escort you out the backdoor into a waiting cab. They pay the cabbie to take you home and make sure you’re not followed. When you get home they ask that you flick your front porch lights on and off and call the club to let them know you’re safe. They also save the security cameras from that day in case you have need of it at a later date.

I never used their service because my friends were the bouncers and usually intervened before I needed to say anything.”

10. Leave me alone, please

“Semi-related, but I was out at the pub on campus for a show, and had been there previously in the day celebrating our last exam with some friends. Some guy who was sitting at a table next to us and trying to chat us up earlier was still there with his buddies and was drunker and braver and of course he got me alone when my friend went to the bathroom.

He wouldn’t stop talking to me and getting in my face and yelling about himself and when I excused myself to go to the bar (literally was like “ok bye.”) He followed me to the bar and ordered the same thing as I did and offered to pay and I said I was good and he did not. stop. talking. And I must have looked mad as f*ck because the bartender walked over and went “hey you were here earlier right? Buddy give us a second I need to speak with her about her tab.” The guy leaves and the bartender tells me I looked distressed and asked if everything was ok, I told him I was fine but this guy was in my personal space and not leaving. So he said if he doesn’t stop that I should come back and order a whiskey lemon and security would be notified, and he would walk me back to my car if I needed it.

We ended up moving tables and I think he got too drunk to stand up and left not too long after that but I was so relieved to know the bartender was watching out. I’m not one for confrontation and it just feels so much safer to be able to duck out with someone having my back.”

11. Aggressive

“I’m a bartender in a small town. Anytime a new woman comes into the bar I let her know that if she ever feels uncomfortable or needs anything to ask me to go out for a smoke with her. I’ve had plenty of people use it to get away from some just usual creeps.

But NOTHING beats the night a guy asked this girl to go home with him. After she politely refused he grabbed her and called her a bitch. We already had our eye on this situation, my bouncer immediately came out of no where and tazed this drunk assh*le.”

12. Let them know

“PSA to the ladies:

I’m a guy who’s worked 20 years as a bartender, club manager, and security dude. We LIVE for taking out assh*les. If you ever are having an issue with a guy, date or not, please let anyone there know and I bet they would be thrilled to make the asshole go away (or put you safely in a car)

When I used to hear after the fact about incidents in the club where a patron was harassed I alway wish I would have known what was going down— staff will usually gladly step in.”

13. Thank you

“I had a creep corner me in a bar once and tried to stroke my thigh. I dude I’ve never met before came up and said “hey sis I’ve been looking all over for you!” And he put his arm around me and walked me out. Thank you so much stranger.

Edit: since I’m seeing a lot of comments about this. It was pretty obvious they were not working together. The nice guy walked over from a group of friends (all college aged) and the creep was in his fifties. And when I said he walked me out, he just walked me to the door of the bar.”

14. View from a female bartender

“Female bartender chiming in. In the decade I’ve been doing this, most bars I’ve worked in don’t have a safe word or drink. I’ve worked in 3 major cities with large universities and bar districts and not one I’ve ever seen.

I consider keeping patrons safe a large part of my job, especially working at clubs or at music festivals. I’m watching anyone that gives me a weird vibe or people that are obviously on a newish date and most other bartenders that give a shit do the same. There’s a “look” other women will give when they need help. Either cornered into a conversation they obviously want out of or trying to turn down free drinks from some guy that won’t take no for an answer.

That’s when I just go over and pretend I’m bussing or wiping the bar and make eye contact with her until she gets I’ve got an understanding of what’s going on, then I just ask her how she’s “doing” in a tone that also conveys I’m there to help if need be. If her answer is weird or she keeps eye contact too long with me, or in a “please don’t leave” kinda way, I immediately get security and try and get her an Uber if she’s tipsy, or find her friends. I do everything I can to make sure they get home. I unfortunately can tell so many stories of drugged/drunk girls completely out and having to literally keep men away from them because they all swear they’ll get her home safely or that they know her or her friends.

So ladies, you can always tell your bartender literally anything is going on. We consider the workplace kind of ours and don’t want any bad shit happening to anyone that comes in. Just tell us and we’ll help you.”

15. Slammin’ drinks

“Ehhh this is a “close but not quite” situation but it may get attention due to the lack of legit responses.

A guy I was with was with was SUPER adamant about me keeping up with him slamming drinks. He would drag me to the bar and order for me, then egg me on to drink faster, etc. I did NOT want to be drunk with him.

He ordered me a vodka soda and I maintained that slightly pained look on my face, hoping to catch the bartenders attention. When he looked my way, I widened my eyes just a little and subtly shook my head “no”.

I watched him as he poured me drink by faking the vodka pour and just filling me with what I presume was soda water (not normally my drink of choice so I wasn’t sure what it was – kinda looked like stale Sprite) and he garnished it with a lime and everything. Said “cheers” when he handed us our drinks.

This continued for a while until Drunky McSmashypants wanted to leave. Bartender said to me “oh you had asked about seeing Megan, right?! Yeah she’s in the back, go ahead while he closes out”

I sort of hovered by the restrooms which were tucked away, watched the bartender BS with the dude for a while, and he eventually left lookin all annoyed. When the coast was clear, I came out, said my thank yous, and he said “anytime, happens more than we care to admit” so I thought it was pretty cool that the bartenders were aware enough to pick up on the little signs and help a sister out. I guess during their conversation he basically convinced the dude that I didn’t seem into it and he thought he saw me leave already. Drunk dude was druuuuuunk so I guess he bought it without further intervention necessary.”

The post 10+ Times Bartenders Helped Women Stay Safe from Creeps at the Bar appeared first on UberFacts.

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15 Straight Guys Recount the Most Intimate Non-Sexual Moments They Shared with Another Dude

Our society tends to scoff at male bonding and fellowship, implying that intimacy is inherently female, which is simply not true. Men are just as capable of experiencing non-sexual, intimate moments with their male friends.

Men on AskReddit revealed their most intimate non-sexual moments they shared with another guy. Hopefully it’ll help even more guys open up and get real with their bro-friends.

1. Bros

“My fraternity brother/ roommate was having a bad day, we were all drinking but he clearly had the most and texted an ex, so I brought him back to our room to keep an eye on him. He got real sad and started crying, except he was insecure about his masculinity so he would cry for a few minutes about how he felt around other guys, then deny that he felt like that and this cycle would repeat every five minutes. Finally I broke through to him that feeling like this was completely fine and actually good (better acknowledging than hiding it).

I held him in my arms while he wept for about half an hour. He kept trying to push back because his every instinct was telling him that this wasn’t ok, but I just shushed him and rubbed his back as I held him. He eventually calmed down and went to bed. That happened two weeks ago and we haven’t talked about it yet, but I’m glad he trusted me, and hope he seeks me out if he’s feeling that ways again.”

2. Bromance

“It was my dads birthday. Went to the city for dinner. He sent me and my neighbor (who came to dinner with us) to get the car from the parking garage. It was raining so we were running. As were running through the streets of manhattan in the dark, lightning struck and thunder boomed. We simultaneously say “I love that” look at each other and keep running in the rain.

That night, a bromance was formed.”

3. Never spoke of it again

“I was at my buddy’s house hanging out. He had just taken a shower, dressed, and come out to the living room where I was watching tv. His hair looked odd so I grabbed his brush and started brushing it. For whatever reason I started channeling a French salon owner. I brushed it into different styles and we were both having a laugh.

His dad walked in the room and we immediately acted as if we were doing something terribly wrong. We hurriedly departed and never spoke of it again.”

4. A good friend

“My mom attempted suicide years ago. She was hospitalized for a month. I thought I could handle it but a week or two after it happened, I got into a fight with my girlfriend at a party and started crying. I couldn’t stop. I totally unraveled in a friends kitchen. My best friend put me in his car and we drove around while I sobbed uncontrollably. I’ve never been more emotionally unstable.

He didn’t talk, he just drove around. Then he dropped me off at home. I felt so much better. He never even brings it up to this day.”

5. New friends

“I broke up with my first serious girlfriend after 4 years and an engagement. She had been cheating and it was a messy end.

18 months later, we had managed to stay apart but I was having dreams about her. I was having lunch with my best friend and he asked me about it. I told him I had been having dreams where I was pleading with her to acknowledge me, that I meant something, that she loved me. I would wake up weeping, and in telling this, started crying lightly at the table. He asks what I miss most, I mention the jokes, the places we went.

He takes a breath and says:  “It sounds like as much as you miss her as your girlfriend, you miss the friend she was, too.”

Never dreamed or thought of her much again. Made some new friends.”

6. Adventure

“I was on a trip with a buddy. He’s an avid climber. The mountain we climbed together with the guide was waaaay over my skill level but we couldn’t tell till half way up. It was sheer ice. My buddy had paid a lot to be on this trip and I after doing some glacier climbing was invited along by the guide for free.

Twice I froze in terror. Clinging to the side of the mountain with just axes and my crampons and tethered to my best friend and then the guide and then the ice anchor. I couldn’t move. It was a combination of exhaustion and fear. I wept my buddy never once grew frustrated even though I was definitely fucking up his trip. He stayed calm and just said:
“Buddy you aren’t going to fall because we won’t let you fall. Even if you do you are attached to me and I sure as shit will never let you fall. After that I’m attached the the guide. He’s attached to the mountain. You are safer now than you are in your car everyday. Now breathe and swing that f*cking axe as hard as you can above you and start moving.

I did it. After 10 hours we reached the summit for the most earned view of my life. I hugged my childhood friend. We repelled down the other face in the dark with head lamps. I had no fear. I felt alive. He’ll forever be my brother.”

7. Ahem…

“A few years ago my plastered-drunk friend was too sauced to function and he threw up all over himself. Being his friend and roommate I helped him get cleaned up. Only problem was he kept refusing to take a shower. He was only interested in taking a bath (in hindsight it was safer and easier). So this f*cker gets completely nude and hops in the tub filling with cold water.

Almost immediately he’s screaming for my help, shivering by the time I’m in the bathroom. I fix the water and he starts crying saying he is “soooooo hu-hu-hungry.” So I go grab some saltine crackers and began to feed my naked friend in the bathtub.

So there’s that.”

8. Spoon session

“My best friend had muscular dystrophy. I’d been both his main bud for over ten years (all of which were past his life expectancy) and had to help him go to the bathroom, set up breathing machines, feed him, etc. All out of necessity and love at the same time.

When it became evident that his end was near, we refused to talk about it. I moved in with his family for a while just to be there with him, but we never discussed in words what was was going to happen…just kept hanging out as we always did.

One night, after about a week of getting up the courage to broach the subject, I asked him if he was afraid of dying. He said not at all, and that he was glad that I would finally be free of the burden of having to take care of him. This broke both of us.

This obviously was waaaay too much for either of us to handle and I laid in bed with him and we cried for what seemed like hours. We went over everything we needed to cover our feelings and our fears (and some logistics concerning certain things he wanted me to keep hidden from his mom).

He passed about a month after that, and after ten years since, I still wish I could go back and and lay down with him and hold him and cry and tell him how much I love him and miss him.

Best bro spoon session I’ll ever have.”

9. Bubble bath

“My friend got really super drunk and decided to take a bath with his clothes on. I, being the less drunk one, stayed in the bathroom to make sure he didn’t like drown or something. He ended up inviting me to join him.

Two bros, fully clothed, drunk, in a bubble bath at 2am.”

10. Ben

“My best friend passed from a brain tumor when we were both 19.

About 1 week prior to his passing, he was not remembering very much and he was continually eating without (due to the steroids and pain meds, I believe) going to the bathroom very often. He consumed way to much food over the course of a morning, around lunch he started vomiting in the most absurd projectile vomit stream you could ever imagine. 20 seconds of a stream the size of a fire hose going all over him, the couch, some on me and very little in the bowl I ran to grab him. The worst part was when it was done, and we were covered in vomit. He didn’t know who threw up or where it came from.

I picked him up, covered in vomit and carried him to the shower. He was embarrassed for his mom or any girls seeing him naked for some reason with vomit on him. I undressed him, and bathed him myself. Helped him soap, shampoo, dry and dress. It was the last time I felt he even knew who I was.

I miss you Ben.”

11. Weird

“Me and my friend used to masturbate next to each other when we were about 12yo, we did it several times and never spoke of it ever again. We just sat there chatting about random stuff while masturbating furiously. Weird.”

12. Exploring

“Not ONE clue why, but when me and my best friend were like 8ish, we were at one of my dad’s late men’s league hockey games. We never watch the games and just kind of explored and messed around looking for stuff to do. Well we found out some of the empty locker rooms were open and lights off. Perfect to explore as a kid right?

Well we explored more than i remember why. We casually bumped into each other in the middle of the dark room and our curiosity’s must have sparked. We started to just……rub up against each other and like dry hump each other. That went on for about 15 seconds when we both kind of snapped out of it at the same time. Still don’t know what triggered that kind of sexual eruption, but i have been trying to figure it out since.”

13. Well, that’s nice

“Had a friend say to me while I was feeling pretty down about myself and my looks that he would f**k me if I was a woman.”

14. A nice view

“A couple of years ago I went up to visit my friend in Minneapolis. His apartment was located right across the street from a music festival, so we hung out on his lawn drinking all day and enjoying free live music.

Later on that night we went out for a cigarette and started walking around his neighborhood. What started as a short cigarette walk ended up being a longer excursion as we made our way past the house into some forest area near some train tracks. It was really cool for me being able to see more stars than I was used to seeing back in Chicago and actually being able to walk from the city into nature.

We kept hiking and ended up next to a lake. He asked if I wanted to go swimming and I was like yeah, so we ended up skinny dipping in the lake. I hadn’t been swimming in a long time so it was especially fun for me and it was so awesome to swim at night with a cool view of the city across the lake.

It was such a beautiful view and night that we didn’t realize we were ruining the intimate moment of another couple too. While we were just two naked drunk dudes swimming in the lake by the moonlight, there was a couple on the shore that was trying to have a romantic picnic, complete with wine and a blanket. We thought we were alone until I saw them, but it’s funny to think how it was to see that from the couple’s viewpoint. One minute it’s a really romantic night, then out of nowhere two naked guys run screaming at the water.”

15. He needed it

“Talking another guy out of suicide. He just needed someone to listen. We hugged for a solid 30 seconds and he sobbed into my chest. Awkward looking back, but in the moment he needed it.”

The post 15 Straight Guys Recount the Most Intimate Non-Sexual Moments They Shared with Another Dude appeared first on UberFacts.

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12+ People Reflect on the Most Inaccurate Things They Learned About the Birds and the Bees

Do you remember when you first had “The Talk?” It might’ve been with your parents, a friend, a teacher, an older sibling, the weird guy who lived in the garage next door, etc.

Whoever told you about sex for the first time probably told you some things that aren’t true, or at least are inaccurate. After all, it’s an awkward situation for both parties involved and many adults tend to stretch the truth or leave out some key details. These AskReddit users reveal the funny and WRONG things they were taught about the birds and the bees.

1. Nope

“That you can get pregnant from hugging and that you can get AIDS from kissing. It was 1999 when it had been proven that HIV was not spread through casual contact.”

2. Be careful

“I always thought you were supposed to be really gentle with the penis. So my first time giving a hand job I had the lightest grip possible so I wouldn’t hurt him. When he showed me just how I was shocked lol.

I also thought your period was supposed to be just a dot of blood, hence the name “period.” Had a rude awakening with that one.”

3. Wait, that’s not true?

“I was taught that a woman releases a special chemical in her brain during/right after sex that makes her attached to the man for the rest of her life, because he made that happen. Only women tho, and only your first.

My parents were so hellbent on this that me and my mom often argued about it… she was adamant that I could barely know the guy, yet this would happen and it would ruin my life, she was that convinced (as a teen, they didn’t like my boyfriend and used this to say I won’t know who he will grow up into, in highschool you’ve known him only a few years, this will forever taint your life when you eventually get married etc…. very strong belief they hold). Many other misconceptions as well, but that’s the craziest. Others include:

*Tampons cause infertility because the ovaries cannot ‘air out’

*Having cold feet outside leads to infertility by ‘freeze damage’ to the ovaries

*Sex is a donation to a man, not at all something to share as it can never truly be pleasurable for the woman. However, you’re in luck because women happen to release a forever-bonding chemical when she loses her virginity so you won’t mind ‘doing what is needed to him when do you have to.’ “

4. Mom?

“My mum told me there was no such thing as ovulation when I was 9. To this day I haven’t had the courage to ask her how she thinks I got here!”

5. It’s over

“Basically sex = your life is ruined and there’s nothing you can do about it then.

Little bit inaccurate.”

6. There it is!

“I received absolutely no sex education. I was raised a religious fundamentalist, married at 19 to a girl that was as ignorant as I was and lost our virginity on our wedding night. Married for 13 years. I learned what and where a clitoris was from my 2nd sexual partner at the age of 32.”

7. Uggghhhhh

“My sex ed was cassette tapes of an old man basically just saying don’t have sex before marriage, but one of the things he said was “I grew up on a farm, and I learned all I needed to know about sex by watching the animals.””

8. Abstinence

“My middle school teacher told the class that condoms were not effective at all for protecting against STDs and only worked 50% in stoping pregnancies, and that anyone who told you otherwise was a diseased pervert trying to trick you into sex. Abstinence teaching, ladies and gentlemen.”

9. Lies!

” “If you both keep your virginity until your wedding night, you will have an amazing sex life forever.”

False.”

10. Inaccurate

“Not sure this counts but when I was 10 and asked my mom what AIDS was, she said it happened when people had sex without protection.

Fair enough. Except my little brain confused “protection” with “permission”. And that was what I thought AIDS was. For longer than I care to admit.”

11. A whole buncha stuff

“If you have sex in a hot tub, you can’t get pregnant. When you go to sleep, your period stops. My friend also believed that girls only had their periods on the full moon cycle.

These are things I had other people come to me about, because they had no sex ed and I was the one friend who actually learned something from their parents.”

12. Confused

“In addition to the usual (condoms aren’t effective, sex before marriages gives you cancer, zero information about discharge or where clitoris is located) I was taught that women don’t feel sexual arousal. At all. Those who think they do are just confused. Women have sex to please men and make babies, no other reason.

I still wonder if the woman who taught me this was just asexual and didn’t know it, and she assumed this was the norm.”

13. Dirty

“They taught us that if you have sex, you are dirty and disgusting. It became confusing to me as a child to be excited when someone announced they were pregnant, I thought it was only good if you ended up pregnant.”

14. You’re gonna catch it

“I mean I don’t think this really counts but my class made us watch the lifetime movie “she’s too young” a movie about a high school that has a huge chlamydia outbreak which made it seem like that was gonna happen to our school if we had any sex so that I suppose.”

15. Sex offenders

“Went to catholic school in south Texas. My sex ed was “you are all too young to have sex, if you do you will be a sex offender for life” then we learned about the legal problems of being a sex offender. Not totally wrong, but lots of girls had to leave when they ended up pregnant.”

The post 12+ People Reflect on the Most Inaccurate Things They Learned About the Birds and the Bees appeared first on UberFacts.

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15 People Describe the Scariest Sound They’ve Ever Heard

Noises have the power to terrify us in unexpected ways. Our minds can come up with some truly terrifying images based on sound alone.

These AskReddit users share their personal stories. We dare you not to get freaked out.

1. Poor bunny

“I used to live with my sister during my last teenage years. She had this Holland Flop bunny as her pet. He was a sweetheart that loved to cuddle. One day, I was getting out of the shower and I heard this absolutely blood curdling scream. I wrapped a towel on quickly and dashed into the living room to see what was up. The poor bunny had trapped himself and gotten tangled up in some headphones. I had to calm him down and unwrap him.”

2. Hissing

“I remember when I was in middle school, I was working on a project that involved a poster. I worked on it earlier in the day, leaned it against my bedroom wall, and forgot about it. Later that night, it fell down making a long sliding sound down the wall. Being almost asleep, I thought it sounded like an animal hissing very loud. I don’t think my feet touched the ground on my way out of the room.”

3. Click click

“When I was 7-8 years old, a neighbor gave me one of those large 3′ dolls with realistic hair and blinking eyes with long lashes. I think she also walked if you held her arms.

Went to sleep that night with the doll sitting in my little rocking chair. At some point during the night, I woke up and heard this soft ‘click click’ sound and realized that the doll was sitting there blinking at me. Screamed bloody murder, made my parents put the doll outside the house that night and the next day, give it back to the neighbors.

I still don’t like blinking dolls.”

4. Bomb

“Used to go camping with my parents and grandparents when i was 12.

Sleeping in our caravan 2AM-ish, grandfather wakes us all up screaming “BOMB”, we were all confused and then we hear an explosion, we put on our shoes and right before we get outside we hear another bigger explosion.

The camping has like streets with caravans on both sides lined up, what happened was (we learned this the next day) someone had a short-circuit with his fridge in his caravan and this started a fire that reached the gas canister.

That was the first explosion (and furthest away) that woke my grandfather up, he said he recognized that sound from WW2 and it shot him right out of his bed.

The explosion set fire to the next caravan in line on our street for the 2nd explosion that was closer, it was nearing us.

Repeat for the next in line which was getting close for the final biggest explosion we heard.

Luckily we had taken out the gas canisters immediately and put them further away on the concrete.

Our caravan melted from the heat but the explosions stopped.

Had to talk to cops about what i saw with my parents at like 3-4AM when i was 12, that was a scare and a half for us.”

5. Trash can kitty

“I came home from work a little earlier than usual one day. It was dark in the house and dead silent, except for this weird, rhythmic crinkling sound. I stumbled around the couch to find one of my cats lying on her side with her head buried in a snack size potato chip bag. She was stuck and she was suffocating. I ripped the bag away and saw her foaming at the mouth, eyes rolling around in her head, terrified. She took a deep breath and within seconds was breathing normally again.

We always joked about her being trash can kitty because she would eat pretty much anything, but apparently that day, she’d actually made it into the trash can. We got a can with a lid after that.

I always shudder when I think about that noise and what I would have found if I’d stayed at the office a minute later.”

6. Awful

“I was on the phone with my mom while she got in to a bad car accident. I still remember her screaming. I was at home with a broken ankle at the time. It was horrific and I still think about it today (even though it was months ago).

I’m so grateful she is alive and walked away with only some bad bruising, even though the car was destroyed. I just felt so helpless not being able to do anything in that moment. Thankfully 911 was called immediately.”

7. Ghost

“I went up to stay with my mother after my dad died for a few weeks. She went out to run some errands with my aunt so I was home alone. I hear a familiar sound of my dad getting out of his computer chair upstairs in his bedroom. I hear him walk over to the door, open then close it, walk into the hall and down then up the stairs. He then closed the door.

It scared to hell out of me. I couldn’t move. If that was an encounter with a ghost, I don’t want another one.”

8. Alarms

“Not long after the 2011 earthquake in Japan, I was living Tokyo and was traveling daily on the Japanese metro. Most Japanese residents have a earthquake detector phone app that sends off an alarm approximately 10 sec before you feel the shaking of an earthquake.

I was riding the busy keiyo line that is deep under Tokyo Station in a packed carriage , when the train stops unexpectedly and suddenly every person’s phone on train suddenly starts playing the same alarm.

There was at least one hundred people in my carriage and hearing a chorus of devices suddenly begin to sing in unison of your impending doom while we are around 8 stories underground will be an experience I won’t soon forget.

Thankfully after the alarm, the quake started and wasn’t anything more than a light after shock, but that 10sec wait was intense. No one said a thing, no one panicked and when the shaking stopped the train silently restarted and we continued our journey.”

9. Death rattle

“Doing CPR on my mom’s third husband after finding him on the kitchen floor. I’d just stopped by and walked in on my mom, frantic on the phone with 911.

Blood was coming from his mouth and he had no pulse. He was turning cold. But my mom being an RN for the last million years yelled at me to start chest compressions.

His eyes were vacant, but I slapped him and yelled his name and started explaining that I was going to start compressions. It was something I recalled from class to help keep focused on the task. This was happening. I was in the zone. Hero mode activated. Then I started.

With the first push, blood sprayed from his mouth and he made this raspy sound. By the second or third compression, I felt his ribs break. The sound with every push was nauseating.

I wanted to puke. I wanted to cry.

At some point, a cop walked in. I screamed for help and the officer told me I could stop and that my stepdad was dead.

The scene played over in my dreams for weeks after that, but with variations. He was trapped under ice in one. In another, logs were being sawn nearby. In both, the activity mimicked the raspy cough his body made.”

10. Nightmare

“Sleep paralysis with auditory hallucinations.

Scariest ones:

-A conversation between two inhuman sounding men about how they want to kill me. It was hard to wake up from this one.

-An excruciatingly loud scream. It sounds like a mix between a person and some type of animal. Repeating over and over.

-A man laughing, but it’s really loud and starts becoming distorted.”

11. Yikes

“The sound of a person hitting the pavement after falling 11 stories.”

12. Frightening!

“Hedgehogs mating outside my window, ran out with a knife thinking my cat was being murdered.”

13. Dead quiet

“My neighbor has a horse which I fully am ignorant of the existence of 99% of the time. One night it’s dark, I’m walking to my truck. Turn to the door….

And let me elaborate. It’s one of those just dead quiet nights, no noise.

Then the horse did one of those lip flappy exhales.

I’m like oh, yeah, so this is the end of Jake.

Just like that gypsy woman said.”

14. Terrifying

“Sounds outside our bedroom window, like someone muttering to themselves. I convinced my husband it was nothing. We kept hearing it at night. It was terrifying.

Turned out it was a severely mentally ill man squatting on the property adjacent to us. When we called the police to ask what to do, they said, “Oh, yeah, that’s so-and-so. Whatever you do, don’t confront him, he’s very violent. It took six officers to bring him down last time he had an episode!” Then they stood on our porch and yelled at him that ‘these people here are complaining about how loud you are, so keep it down!’ “

15. No thanks!

“Hearing a mountain lion scream/roar in the White Mountains of New Mexico while camping when I was like 13. No thank you!”

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12+ Police Officers Tell Their ‘Calling All Units’ Stories

Day after day, police officers put their lives on the line to protect citizens.

In this AskReddit article, police officers share their most hair-raising “calling all units” stories, so buckle up.

1. Armed robbery

“An armed robbery at the government’s financial institution.

But, unlike the stuff they show in movies, we went in silent, spread around without approaching the premises too close and got all four of them by intercepting their car later on. One of our detectives came in an unmarked car and parked a few cars behind the vehicle with the engine running and the nervous driver behind the wheel and followed them.

We learned about the car thanks to the off-duty officer who was in the right place at the right time to notice the suspicious behavior (the car was parked in an unusual way among everything else that indicated to him that something fishy is going on).

Although, we were lucky in some sense because it took them ages to do what they came to do. Regardless, it all went smoothly and with no casualties.”

2. Natural disaster

“I’ve served as both a probation officer and police officer. There was a natural disaster in the area on a weekend. I got a call from the chief probation officer telling me that we were designated as disaster workers and we were to report for duty. I was an armed field unit officer at the time and when we got into work all the armed officers were told we were going to patrol the disaster area. We were ordered to put on all of our marked clothes and report to an area for patrol.

It was a bit weird as all our cars were unmarked and had no lights. We had radios and cages in the cars but not the other equipment as we normally didn’t need it. The patrolling was fairly uneventful and we didn’t encounter any looters but we put in a number of 13-hour days. The community needed every armed LEO they could get and we did our part.”

3. Three times

“It’s happened three times that I’ve been on duty that I can recall. The first time was a riot at a local theme park, some idiot kids put out that there was going to be a fight in the parking lot and for some reason that meant several hundred high school age kids all gathered in the lot and got into a huge brawl. The first few officers responding got surrounded in the chaos and they put out an officer in trouble, and because of the size of the crowd, they asked for officers from all over the county.

The others were officer down calls where the gunman was still at large.”

4. DUI gone bad

“A police officer here, I’ve heard it over the radio many times but never used it my self. We are issued with a button on our radios that causes all radios to beep and vibrate, so it is instantly noticed by every officer in the area. Most memorable was a regular DUI stop that turned south resulting in the officer being attacked and having his leg broken.

It was towards the end of the shift and most of the officers were finishing up on paperwork at the station. As soon as it went off every officer in the station left within 10 seconds of hearing it. The suspect was quickly detained and arrested soon after.”

5. Riot

“Former cop here. The all-units call was basically a riot at a large nightclub in a very rough area of the neighboring city. Once things were finally calmed down and the dozen or so people were taken away, my boss wanted us all back in our city. I was amazed at not only how many cops showed up but from where….counties and towns I had never heard of before. I looked up a few at the end of shift and some came from an hour plus away.”

6. Stabbed

“We had an all-units call to one of our own stabbed. Everyone went hell for leather to get there, to find one of our guys on the floor with a stab wound to the stomach. We searched everywhere for the suspects and anyone matching the descriptions was arrested. So, it turns out the officer did it to himself.

He’d heard you couldn’t be fired from work if you were injured in the line of duty (he was under investigation for a minor issue, not anything involving the public. Just breach of procedure.) I don’t think I’ve ever been so disgusted with a colleague in my life. All the other “all units” calls I’ve been to have been genuine and luckily my colleagues unhurt.

I almost called one myself when someone pulled out a sawn-off shotgun at me. Luckily that panned out OK!”

7. Wedding brawl

“A large wedding in Brooklyn—it was at midnight, so there weren’t that many units, to begin with. The families started warring with each other and when we arrived they, of course, turned on us. Everyone, I mean EVERYONE, was brawling and we felt like Custer at Little Big Horn.

We turned out three cars that night and one of them was out on a homicide so we’re just yelling “Keep ’em coming, Central!” The duty captain (the supervisory officer for the patrol boro) shows up, looks around, sees that this is quickly becoming a riot and calls a citywide 10-13, which means a designated number of cars from every borough task force in the city.”

8. Kidnapping

“When I was working for a small town police department I received a phone call from our chief of police, who was off that day. He said a woman showed up on his front lawn saying she had just escaped from her kidnappers. Long story short she said something about him (her kidnapper) having a gun and threatening to use it if she tried to escape.

Me, being young (20 at the time) and oblivious to what I was actually putting out on the radio, called out to the on-duty officer about the situation. My wording must have been terrible because I received radio messages from county and state police stating they were en route to the chief’s residence. They thought someone had come to our chief of polices home with a gun and was holding him hostage. The best part of this story is I gave the wrong address and all these cop cars from city county and state were blocking off the street one block over.”

9. Sad story

“I recently had an “all available units respond” call for an unresponsive child.

My partner and I have never driven so fast. When we got there, all you could smell was brakes and exhaust fumes from our cruisers.

We entered the house and found the child: a one-year-old boy. We performed CPR. He was transported. He didn’t make it.

It’s hard to be criticized by the media and the general public when these are the things we deal with.”

10. He’s got a blade!

“I’m an officer in a courtroom, so our all-units calls are usually for disruptive spectators (victim and defendant families fighting out arguing) or defendants acting up in front of a judge or whole being taken back to jail. Another courthouse nearby had an incident where a defendant produced a blade from his rectum and tried to slash his lawyer’s throat while in the courtroom. One I was involved in, a guy was a known problem in corrections custody but somehow he got free of them and fought his way into the courtroom I was working in.

It’s the most comforting sight when you make that 10-13 call and in the midst of the fight, you see the small army of uniforms come running in to help.”

11. A stain on the department

“Had an all units call, it was horrifying, turned out an off-duty cop was drinking and driving and hit three cars on a bridge. It was chaos, many things flew out of the car, belongings scattered everywhere. He did time, lost his job obviously, stained the department.”

12. Bomb scare

“Retired cop here. I have more than a few ‘Everyone get here now’ calls in my time. Most stemmed from a large gathering that was starting to turn not so peaceful.

My last major one, we had a bomb that was planted in a car in a parking lot. I needed to clear the lot and the adjacent building. And then it became an attempt to keep folks out of the area. That was a tense 12-hours until the device was blown up.”

13. Idiot on drugs

“A few weeks ago we had an all-units call because an idiot on drugs decided to call 911 and say someone was someone had been shot. As he was on the phone with a dispatcher, someone else calls in that her home is being broken into. Guess who broke into her home while he’s ‘still’ on the phone with 911 saying someone’s been shot.

So an officer arrives and goes in to search for the suspect not knowing at the time it was the guy on the phone with 911. Well, dude runs out, hops in the cop car and tears out! All officers are dispatched along with state police officers. He had a nice joyride and led them on a good chase with a buddy behind him for almost an hour until some state troopers did a maneuver to wreck him when he got on the interstate.”

14. Runner

“I spent 13 months as an officer.

One was during a patrol in the ghetto section, and I spot a car speeding down the street. As soon as I hit my lights, the driver jumps out of the car while it’s in motion and runs into the woods losing a sandal. The car stopped right before hitting a house and figured that another passenger stopped the vehicle, so called for immediate backup and secured it. Turned out to be a notorious dealer with priors, and his ladies snitched when he bailed on them.”

15. Intense

“We had a shooter trying to kill cops. He had several guns on him and he managed to take out a few cops. He ran and hid in the woods traveling around town behind people’s houses for days. Businesses and roads were shut down people were told to stay inside. It was pretty intense.”

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The Absolute Best Piece of Advice These 15 People Ever Got

Advice is a hard thing to give and to get. You’re never sure if you want it, if someone is listening, or if it will make a difference or just end up driving the other person away. That’s what makes it so special when it comes through on both ends with such beautiful clarity you can’t help but share. Just like these folks did on AskReddit.

#15. Make it worth something.

“There will come a time in your life where you’ll have nothing to offer someone but your word. Make it worth something.”

Edit: Oh shit my first gold?! Thank you kind stranger! I really do feel like I’m internet famous.”

#14. Check your shoes.

“Probably “If it smells like shit everywhere you go, check your shoes.”

I’m much less of a miserable asshole these days.”

#13. Your younger self.

“Be the person you needed when you were young.”

#12. You’re not supposed to be sure.

“This was specifically when looking to transition to a significantly higher responsibility role, but I have found to be applicable to any time I’m facing a new challenge. “Don’t be worried if you’re not sure you can do it. You’re not supposed to be sure. If you were already sure you could do the job, you’d be bored within a month.”

#11. Change.

“Life doesn’t change, unless you change it.

You can’t sedate your way out of a crappy life, you have to get up and make changes.”

#10. With friends or family.

“Years of love have been forgotten in the hatred of a minute”

Really helps whenever I get into an argument with my friends or family.”

#9. Uncomfortable conversations.

“Your success will be largely dependent on the number of uncomfortable conversations you are willing to have – Reddit”

#8. Short and simple will do.

“One of my favourite teachers in Highschool told us:” If you need five pages to talk about 20 lines of poetry, you are obviously bullshitting me. State three well constructed arguments for your point of view and I’ll be happy to reward you for that. Claim. Reason. Proof. Nothing more.” He repeated that before every exam and it really helped me to boil my rather confused teenager thoughts into clear statements. I still think of him today while writing reports for work.

TLDR: Keep it short and simple.”

#7. Priorities and options.

“Don’t make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option”.

#6. A great boss.

“My first great boss told me “never make yourself indispensable or you’ll never get promoted”.

It’s worked for me.”

#5. Get off the fence.

“Sometimes the worst decision is no decision. Sometimes you just have to make a decision, any decision, then make that be the right one.”

#4. Pay now.

“You can pay now, or you can pay later, but it’s almost always cheaper to pay now.”

It seems like a lot of people think this is only referring to money, it’s not.”

#3. Money well spent.

“If you lend someone some money and never see them again, it was probably money well spent.

Got told this after I lent a friend $100 and the fucker dropped off the face of the planet.”

#2. Morning and night.

“Do something that makes you want to get up in the morning. Find someone that makes you want to go home in the evening.”

#1. Respect yourself.

“Respect yourself enough to walk away anything that no longer serves you, grows you or makes you happy.”

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15 Pick Up Lines That Women Actually Liked Hearing

If you’re a guy (or a woman, for that matter) in the dating world, pickup lines probably go in one ear and out the other. They’re so unoriginal and just plain insulting…at least most of the time. These 15 stories prove that if you’ve got a good line, you could still get the girl.

#15. No.

“Guy – “Hey, you want some good sex tonight?”

Girl – “No”

Guy – “You came to the right place then”

#14. He wasn’t even French.

“It wasn’t use on me but I overheard a conversation between this guy with a heavy French accent and some hurl I front of me in an economics class. I wasn’t really paying attention till I heard him say “Let me take you out for ice cream, you look like you’d enjoy some French Vanilla” and I almost died. She said no, and I later found out he wasn’t even French, just very good at accents.”

#13. A bit of cute.

“You have a bit of cute on your face.”

Apparently this was used by both my bf and one of his friends to his current gf. Both gents got the line from a single friend who is still single.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯”

12. Nice buns

“I don’t like when people hit on me at work, but this one made me chuckle. I’m a baker and I was putting some hamburger buns on the shelf. A guy walked up behind me and said “hey nice buns.” Simple, but I laughed.”

Edit: anyone else want to make the beaver joke? Original, y’all.”

#11. You dropped something.

“Guy: Hey, you dropped something.

Girl: What?

Guy: Your standards. My name’s _______”

#10. You look like a cab driver.

“I was a security guard for Seahawks games, and we had to wear yellow jackets, black caps, and black slacks.

At the end of the game, we were going through and clearing out all the drunk people and this one guy I was helping to the door looked at me up and down and said “You look like a cab driver….you should take me home” and then winked at me. Told him it was a great line and to use it on someone else.”

#9. Worth it.

“My first kiss was with my best friend at the time in middle school. He bet me a quarter that he could kiss me without touching my lips. I thought he was just going to kiss my cheek or hand or something and say I owed him a quarter, but he really kissed me, pulled a quarter out of his pocket, pressed it in my hand and said ‘worth it.’”

#8. I think you’re doing it wrong.

“Sitting in a cafe doing homework. I hear a guy go, “I’m not trying to be weird, I’m just trying to figure out what kind of math you’re doing, because I think you’re doing it wrong.” He was right and helped me out. Asked me out in a date afterwards and we’re been together 7 years, married almost more than half of that.”

#7. She saw an opportunity.

“I was at a skating rink and this girl fell right in front of me and said “I think I’ve fallen for you.* Idk if she saw an opportunity and took it or was serious, but I don’t swing that way… sorry.”

#6. Until I got to the car.

“I was walking out of a book store when a guy told me I had dropped something. I looked at the floor thinking I had dropped a receipt or something. The guy then replies “my jaw”. My dumbass didn’t realize it until I got to the car.”

#5. Incredible charmed.

“Had a paraplegic guy roll up to me and tell me ‘I’m 6’4” layin’ down’. I was incredibly charmed.”

#4. Hi, my name is John.

“Hi my name is John if anyone is looking to make a mistake tonight.” I wasn’t, but damn I thought that was funny.”

#3. I’m more into titans.

“At a nerd convention some guy asked if I wanted to see his giant robot. My brain didn’t compute I was being hit on, I thought we were talking about anime so I responded “I’m more into titans.”

#2. We’re married.

“Hey, you’re beautiful. Can I tell you that again next saturday over dinner?”

Lol maybe cheesey but I guess it worked because we’re married.

Edit:

They want a haiku,

I suppose I should write one.

But I’m so lazy.”

#1. Good fortune.

“I was working at a sushi restaurant in a small Texas town. I was serving a group of 3, a couple and their friend. So at the end of the meal the lonely guy (one may call him a neck beard or one of those nice guy types) asks if will open fortune cookies with them. In my head, I’m thinking I hope this gets me a a decent tip.

I open my cookie and it has some generic fortune. I ask him what his says. He replies without missing a beat: “my says the cute waitress will give me her number”. I giggled and politely decline saying I have a boyfriend.

It was one of the smoothest pick lines I’ve ever seen used but also from the least likely of people.”

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The Old School Insult These 15 People Would Love to Make a Thing Again

It’s fun to sit around and talk about the things we miss from the years when we were growing up, but how often do you long to bring back the playground insults from your days at school? These 15 people have thought about it, and after you read through their suggestions, I guarantee you will be, too.

#15. Very descriptive.

“You look like 10 pounds of sh*t in a five pound sack.”

#14. More proper.

“I wish people still said “You forget yourself” as a response to a comment someone made. It’s like a more proper “How dare you” with the implication that you are beneath them and should remember your place”

#13. Strangely endearing.

“A roommate once referred to an idiotic person she knew as “a muppet.” It was strangely endearing and oh-so-slightly savage that I’ve used it since but would love to live in a world where we could freely call each other muppets.”

#12. I fell in love with my fella the first time we used this word spontaneously.

“nincompoop”

#11. We all miss that

“Calling someone a Spaz. I miss that.”

#10. Okay, that’s going wayyyyy back.

“I bite my thumb.”

#9. Oooohhhh dang.

“You six piece chicken mcnobody.”

#8. YAS.

“Doofus.”

#7. Your face!

“Your face”

Eg “that shirt looks mental” “your face looks mental” “dude that doesn’t make any sense” “your face doesn’t make any sense”

#6. See also: go piss up a rope.

“Go take a long walk off a short peir.”

#5. So, there.

“You’re not invited to my birthday party”

#4. Rufio FTW.

“You lewd, crude, rude, bag of pre-chewed food dude.”

#3. Basically.

“Up your nose with a rubber hose. Basically any insult from Welcome Back, Kotter.”

#2. Mom?

“Ragamuffin.”

#1. Classic.

“Eat sh*t and die.”

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The Old School Insult These 15 People Would Love to Make a Thing Again

It’s fun to sit around and talk about the things we miss from the years when we were growing up, but how often do you long to bring back the playground insults from your days at school? These 15 people have thought about it, and after you read through their suggestions, I guarantee you will be, too.

#15. Very descriptive.

“You look like 10 pounds of sh*t in a five pound sack.”

#14. More proper.

“I wish people still said “You forget yourself” as a response to a comment someone made. It’s like a more proper “How dare you” with the implication that you are beneath them and should remember your place”

#13. Strangely endearing.

“A roommate once referred to an idiotic person she knew as “a muppet.” It was strangely endearing and oh-so-slightly savage that I’ve used it since but would love to live in a world where we could freely call each other muppets.”

#12. I fell in love with my fella the first time we used this word spontaneously.

“nincompoop”

#11. We all miss that

“Calling someone a Spaz. I miss that.”

#10. Okay, that’s going wayyyyy back.

“I bite my thumb.”

#9. Oooohhhh dang.

“You six piece chicken mcnobody.”

#8. YAS.

“Doofus.”

#7. Your face!

“Your face”

Eg “that shirt looks mental” “your face looks mental” “dude that doesn’t make any sense” “your face doesn’t make any sense”

#6. See also: go piss up a rope.

“Go take a long walk off a short peir.”

#5. So, there.

“You’re not invited to my birthday party”

#4. Rufio FTW.

“You lewd, crude, rude, bag of pre-chewed food dude.”

#3. Basically.

“Up your nose with a rubber hose. Basically any insult from Welcome Back, Kotter.”

#2. Mom?

“Ragamuffin.”

#1. Classic.

“Eat sh*t and die.”

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The Foods These 12 Picky Eaters Would Turn Down Even If They Were Starving

Most of us have a food or two that totally turns our stomach, but if you were starving? I think most people would choke down what’s available (and the contestants on Naked and Afraid seem to prove the assumption) – but these 12 people have found at least one food that makes them ready to die rather than make the best of things.

#12. To save my life.

“In boot camp, I learned for a fact that it is broccoli.

While it’s not the most physical thing in the world, you rarely sit down, and you don’t truly rest much. I ate as much as humanly possible because I was losing weight so quickly, but most importantly, the DI’s check your plate. I could not choke down the broccoli to save my life. I ended up mashing it up and hiding it under my orange peels.”

#11. Calories are calories.

“Anything moldy or spoiled.

That’s it. I’ve been starving before, like “Sleep for dinner” and then “We’re out of oatmeal and milk but you can drink coffee creamer for breakfast” starving.

I will eat ANYTHING if I’m hungry enough. I may not enjoy it, but calories are calories.”

#10. Like an oil spill.

“Salad with a ton of mayo. Looks like you caught a lettuce in an oil spill.”

#9. The real texture.

“Anything with onions. I like the artificial flavor (funyuns) but the real texture is disgusting to me.”

#8. Organs.

“Liver. Gross…”

#7. Gooshy?

“Straight tomatoes. Will not eat! Too gooshy.

Chopped up and made into salsa? Will eat.

Mixed into a paste and spread on something? Will eat.

Straight? Nope.”

#6. In the can.

“Canned green beans.”

#5. Never say never.

“I will never ever, ever eat dog meat.”

#4. Americans, man.

“Spotted dick. It’s a real thing but the name really turns me off.”

#3. The worst.

“Raisins.

The worst food possible.”

#2. I would die.

“Not really food but milk…If I was dying and milk was my only option, I would not consume it, I would die.

Chocolate/strawberry milk is fine, but regular white milk literally makes me gag and throw up. I’d pass on the life saving milk.”

#1. Not even if you paid me.

“Mushy peas. Not even if you paid me.”

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