Month: November 2021

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People Divulge The Most Surprising Computer Skills That People Still Don’t Know How To Do

It seems like the younger generation is often the generation in charge of having basic computer skills and walking our older counterparts through how to use them.

Teaching them how to save something as a pdf, or how to install a firewall and how not to download creepy solitaire game from third party websites takes up a lot of our time..

Eventually, though, you expect they will pick up some skills of their own.  When they don’t, it can be incredibly frustrating to go through what you consider a simple process again and again and again.

So when Redditor anushitech polled Reddit:

“What is one computer skill that you are surprised many people don’t know how to do?”

People saw it as an opportunity to vent.  And vent they did.

Cyberspace: The Final Frontier

“I remember my aunt wondering why her document wasn’t in the My Documents folder on our family computer.”

“She had saved it in her own My Documents folder on her own computer the next town over and apparently assumed there was only one Windows 98 communal My Documents folder in existence.”-b*ttboy3

“I taught a computer course several years ago.”

“I remember the biggest thing for most completely-new computer users was not looking at their hand while moving the mouse, and being terrified of breaking the computer by accidentally closing a window or something.”

“Oh, and knowing whether they should single click or double click – this was a major preoccupation for some.”-timmyrey

“I teach web design at the college level. Used to teach community weekend workshops. Html and css with some expected knowledge of computer basics.”

“Local workforce development group would enroll people to update their skills, but would never actually check for prior knowledge. Had to teach how to hold a mouse, that right-click meant use the right mouse button.”

“Had to teach how to open and save files. That the web was not loaded onto a computer and that you needed to connect to the internet first.”

“Not a lot of actual html taught some weekends, which was a shame for those who really wanted to learn. Waste of time for everyone.”

“I started sharing curated resources for web design. started pointing people to a basic into to computer class that should be taken before mine.”

“Kept making requests to have someone vet the students before putting them in my class.”

“Finally gave up when i had a student who wanted to use her ancient flip-phone so she could take work with her.”

“No internet on the thing so made her user a school computer. She got pissy when something wasn’t working.”

“Turns out she was trying to go online with Windows calculator. No idea how she even got there. She eventually went ballistic when the code she typed in her email wouldn’t work (again, wanted to save the work to take with her).”

“I have almost eternal patience, but couldn’t take an irate woman screaming in my face because aol email won’t work for writing code.”

“The class was supportive and I patiently let her leave early. I decided teaching those weekend workshops weren’t worth it after that.”-mister-chad-rules

Going The Long Way

“I once had a guy send me a picture of his desktop. I asked for screenshot of his screen as it was generally easier then asking for the IP address which our company puts on the desktop.”

“Guy couldnt figure out how to screenshot his desktop wallpaper but figured out how to take a photo with his phone and attach it to an email.”-pixxie84

“Working in phone customer support, the number of times I’ve had an old person do a Google search for a web address instead of going to the url has made me realize most middle aged and elderly have no idea what a browser or address bar are.”

“‘Type “site url” into the address bar,’ I say. ‘I did! The page isn’t here!’ they say.”

“9 times out of 10 they were just on a Google page and I lost a week of life expectancy.”-taburde

“I’ve tried to incorporate spreadsheet skills into the chemistry labs I teach, and at the intro level some of them are REALLY uncomfortable using it for repeated calculations, and instead want to just work it all out one by one.”

“Some of these students are the same ones who complain that I give way too much work…”

“That’s not to say I’m not still learning new functions in Excel (just learned about sumifs and countifs recently, which def simplifies my gradebook calculations), but I really feel like everyone should have a grasp of the super basic stuff and have a concept of what a spreadsheet can be used for.”-caffeinated_tea

There Are More Ways To Do One Thing

“I was training a new 22 y/o coworker and noticed a lot of her typing mistakes involved both the first and second letter of a sentence being capitalized.”

“I inquired about it and her response was ‘sometimes i don’t turn caps lock off fast enough’… i was puzzled but kept it cool…”

“I decided to watch her type a little later on and sure enough she would hit caps lock every time she needed a upper case letter followed by turning caps lock back off…”

“When I told her what the shift key did she was genuinely ‘mind blown.’ She had just graduated college.”-Satanic_Nightjar

“People are generally pretty computer illiterate. I’m not a tech guy whatsoever but a basic understanding of shit will save you so much time.”

“I used to work at a Planet Fitness and good god do the managers need basic training in computer skills.”

“I was treated like a god for knowing how CTRL+F worked and having a basic understanding of Snipping Tool for printing out QR codes.”

“They used to really push us to sell Gym Essential Kits and when writing reports on how much they sold they would bring up the report and count one by one.”

“I was a front desk guy and had to show my regional training manager that if you just press Control + F and type in an individual employee’s name, however many times it came up minus 1 (it showed the employee’s name one extra time) was how many they’d sold.”

“This saved us hours over the course of a week. In typical manager fashion, he went ahead and took credit for this and promoted his real-life friend who was bad at their job.”

“F**k that place. I’ve never seen a company with that much incompetence at a manager-wide level.”-PrecariousAchiuwa

“As a teacher, I’ve been saying this for years. Kids and teens these days aren’t as tech savvy as they claim to be, or rather we claim them to be.”

“They grew up in a world populated by apps, very user-friendly apps.”

“90% of apps have the same structure- the lines or dots to indicate the menu, same style controls or swipe methods, etc..”

“They know which apps to find and can navigate them very efficiently; however, ask them to do intermediate level tasks on a desktop or even successfully using their browsers when researching and they struggle quite a bit.”

“Things I learned in tech/computer class in the early 2000s is not really taught anymore.”

“Instead, it’s heavily focused on programming and apps, and while very cool and likely a marketable skill, they seems to skipped basic functions and tools.”-ElZarigueya

“Google how to fix their problem. Apparently I have some superpower where I see the error code or know the name of the software and a brief description of the problem and get helpful google results with little effort.”

“Everyone else seems to just say ‘I don’t know how to find that…’ and then treat me like some kind of mystical wizard afterwards.”-anon_e_mous9669

The little tips disclosed here about computer use could really save you time and work one day if you didn’t already know them, so it might be a good idea to break out that notebook and write some of these down.

At the very least, we can all avoid becoming another story on AskReddit.

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People Who Work For The Super Rich Share The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen On The Job

Rich people, meaning those with an excess of money beyond the average person, will do some unthinkable things simply because of their wealth privilege.

Psychologically, people with incredible amounts of money often don’t see their own privilege. They think their wealth, and the lack of wealth in others, was simply due to their own morals, character traits and abilities.

The filthy rich are also at a high risk for depression because wealth can cause a relentless need for more that has been linked to unhappiness.

Redditor NeighborhoodTrolley asked:

“People who cater to the super rich; what things have you seen?”

We want to know what money really does to people.

They forgot a whole car.

“I’m a driving instructor and one group rented the track to drive their supercars for the day. At the end of the day they all partnered up and got into the cars to leave. After they were gone we realized that they had forgotten their Lamborghini Aventador at the track.” – skell15

“That was the tip.” – TheBokononInitiative

“If I had a nickel for every Lamborghini I forgot somewhere, I tell ya, I’d be rich!” – ShaughnDBL

“‘Dude… where’s my car,’ for the super wealthy.” – giddyup281

Just get it catered.

“Family friends were having marital issues. Their marriage counselor figured out a lot of their problems were over cooking meals.”

“The counselor reminded them that they are rich and can just cater all their meals, and it would be cheaper than getting a divorce. They listened to the counselor and now are happily married again.” – waterloograd

“‘Aren’t you guys like…you know…fabulously wealthy.’”

“‘…oh yeah, we’d completely forgotten about that.’” – Foxsayy

“This is some real curb your enthusiasm sh*t.” – emsok_dewe

“Until they get divorced anyway because someone falls in love with the at-home chef.” – bakarac

“‘Money does make you happy HAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA.’” – poopellar

“Money doesn’t make you happy, but poverty can certainly make you miserable.”

“According to a 2010 study, a salary of around $75k – money buys security, after that there’s no measurable increase in happiness linked to money.” – Fraerie

“Oxygen is a better analogy honestly.”

“You know when you don’t have it.”

“All your priorities immediately shift to getting it.”

“You want an unlimited supply of it to never think about it again.” – PhotonResearch

Wouldn’t spend money on coffee.

“Client was a mega millionaire in the 60s so even richer when I met him. He’d ride the bus to the office to have free coffee. Every day.”

“He was the founder of a company that had it’s named emblazoned on shipping containers being transported via big rig trucks in the states, but also international shipping and logistics. Came into financial offices daily for the free coffee. Didn’t even talk about his finances, just for the coffee and then would skedaddle.” – sunlitglo

“He probably grew up in the 30s and knew to be defensive with his money.” – bingboy23

“My grandpa is one of those born in the 30s people and they’re a weird breed man. He owns a bunch of real estate all around Seattle and he cannot refuse a bargain of any kind & would be the one to ride the bus to get free coffee. Probably has 50 million in properties but still goes to the thrift store 3x a week hunting for a good deal.” – slapstellas

“Old neighbour had 7-8 mil. in cash and lived off of cooking potatores once a week and burning both ends of matches, hadn’t gotten a toilet installed in his house, still used one in the barn.”

“Was more than 90 when he splurged on a radio and tv. Dude would have been unhappy living a ‘wasteful’ life.” – Chiliconkarma

Private jet for a dog.

“A woman who owned a small private jet business told me one time someone paid them to fly their dog (by itself) to NY for about $45,000 for some training. No other passengers.” – aticho

“It’s silly to imagine an untrained doggo trying to manage at the baggage claim.” – tdriser

“I’ve had coworkers (in avaition) fly across the country for a lobster roll and coffee beans.”

“The trip there and back probably cost 60k minimum..”

“Unreal.”

“Private aviation is unreal. Let’s say you fly from New York to South Florida. (About 3 hours…give or take a bit). That’s 6hrs round trip.”

“Private jets can range from a few thousand an hour to 15k plus. Our company has larger planes..so let’s say 8k/hr. Round trip TRAVEL is $48,000. JUST AIRFARE.”

“That is more than a lot of people make in a year and these folks are spending that on airfare.”

“Private aviation has gone gangbusters since Trump’s tax cuts…. Good to know it helped some people….” – Guppy-Warrior

“See, this is why I roll my eyes when they tell us we all need to drink through paper straws to deal with climate change.”

“The problem isn’t me drinking through a plastic straw, it’s freaking Rupert Léopold Farnzworth III over here dumping massive amounts of CO2 into the atmosphere just to fly Sparky across the Western Hemisphere for an hour of dog training and some lobster bread, while Jeff Bezos launches a damn penis into space.”

“The straw thing was a bad example.”

“But still, even if Private Jets are only a small percent of global emissions, you gotta admit, the people that own them are probably the same people running the 100 or so companies responsible for 71% of global emissions, and if they’re cool with flying cross country because they’re too snooty for a damn cup of Folger’s, they’re probably spending a lot more time figuring out how to get out of paying taxes than figuring out how to make their companies stop burning the planet alive.

“I got no problem trying to reduce my own carbon footprint, but it feels a little disproportionate if those guys aren’t doing jack about their sh*t.” – adamislolz

Quite the tip.

“Old high school teacher of mine is an extremely successful private tutor and does a lot of work in the wealthy neighborhoods in the area.”

“He told us once he was tutoring a kid and helped him get prepared and pass his college level physics class and at the end of their last session the kid told him to wait there and went into his dad’s office and came out with his payment and an extra $1,000. My teacher tried to deny it, saying it was too much but the kid said his dad asked him to give a tip.” – TexasFordTough

“I used to deliver Pizza and this big ass house was ordering 4-5 pizza every Sunday, the lady (a worker at this house) was giving us $100 tip. The first time, when I tried to refuse it, she told me the ‘master’ of the house insist on tipping $100 to the pizza guys.” – hos7name

“I tipped a pizza guy $100 once for bringing me a corkscrew. Not rich just drunk.” – rhet17

“Check out old fancy pants here, drinking wine from a bottle that needs a corkscrew.” – a**_scar

The shadow yacht.

“I live near a company that builds yachts. One day there was an odd looking yacht. A crew member explained to me that was a ‘shadow-yacht’.”

“You see, when you get hyper rich and have multiple yachts. You wouldn’t want to ruin the astetic of your nice yachts with jetski’s and helicopters.”

“Nor would you want your crew to sleep on the nice yacht. So you buy a shadow yacht to store your toys and to house your crew. This shadow yacht follows your fleet of nice yachts around.” – Doppar

“I was hoping ‘shadow yacht’ meant it used stealth technology or fought the pirates.”

“I am disappoint.” – HOA-President

A special sales person.

“When rich people want to buy a Jaguar in the UK they get assigned a special sales person who is incredibly knowledgeable, they meet in a special fancy office, and special arrangements can be made.”

“This was my friend Chris’ job, he had access to things that a normal Jaguar sales person wouldn’t have. Like he could ring up the manager of the factory for special requests level of access.”

“Well a Saudi Price wanted to buy this new Jaguar that had been released, so they met up and spent a full day specing the Jaguar out. I believe the final price was something like 125k for the vehicle.”

“Then came the decision for color, at the time the factory had 16 different color choices for this model. The Prince asked if he could sleep on it as it was getting late and almost time for dinner/prayer my friend Chris says of course and they set a time to meet the next morning.”

“The next morning the Saudi Prince is like, ‘I figured out an acceptable solution to my color dilemma,’ to which Chris goes, ‘And what would that be?’ the Saudi Prince goes ‘I’ll order one of each color’.”

“And my friend Chris is like, ‘Oh, well of course.’ They quote delivery time, Saudi Prince was fine and asked for his options and was presented with ocean travel options to which the Prince said, ‘What about air cargo?’”

“Chris thinking maybe they’d do 1 or 2 by air cargo and the rest by boat, the Prince was like, ‘No I want all 16 vehicles loaded on a plane, and flown to Saudi Arabia’.”

“So that’s the story on how 16 of the same Jaguar with different colors ended up being flown to Saudi Arabia. All in the total cost was around 2.5 million. Please note the prices should be £ not $.” – luther_williams

Gift giving as a form of love.

“I became personal friends with my boss and his wife; super nice people. The wife turned out to be an heiress and would buy me whatever I mentioned, like in passing during a conversation. I learned gifts were how she was raised to show love.”

“I’ve trained myself to only talk about things I already own, unless I find something useful she might like and suggest it for her.” – Lazya**bummer

“Can you talk about a new house for your new reddit friend?” – mollested_skittles

“I’m not super rich or anything, but I think gifts are kicka** and I’d much rather spend my money on a cool gift for a friend who can use it than on something extra I don’t need.”

“I was a software engineer while most of my friends are/were in grad school/med school/working low-paying jobs, so I’ve enjoyed being able to chip in or get nice things for them when they said they couldn’t.”

“I do always make sure they’re ok with it and ask if I can in advance so nobody ends up uncomfortable.” – Zephaerus

Down to earth rich people.

“My grandpa was a piano tuner. He couldn’t drive due to epilepsy so family would take him to jobs.”

“One day dad took him to a job and got talking to the owner. He said the guy lived in the biggest nicest mansion he had ever seen. Everything in the house was crazy expensive. But the owner and his wife were very down to earth and normal. If not a bit rough around the edges.”

“Finally his curiosity got the better off him and dad asked how they made their money.”

“The guy said he used to drive a truck and got tired of needing to carry around bottles of ketchup.”

“That’s how my dad met the creator of the ketchup packet.” – blitzbom

An acute sense of time.

“Some extremely wealthy people I have been around have a more acute sense of their own time and mortality, leading to impatience. Like they understand how awesome their lives are and therefore how short they feel.”

“I knew a guy whose vintage yacht broke down before summer so he bought another one strictly for that upcoming Summer. His reasoning was he likely had 20 full health summers left in his life and didn’t want to spend one of them without a boat considering he had the means to. Honestly can’t argue with that logic.” – cholula_is_good

“I am beginning to feel the awareness of being able to count the healthy years left and I’m not mega rich. Must be amazing to know you can pack those remaining years full of wonderful and wild experiences.” – Earthan

It’s wild to think that there are people out there, using their money to privately fly dogs to training or buying expensive cars in every color.

All the while, people are going on strike for better working conditions and fair wages across the U.S. Half a million workers walk off the job in South Korea in a general strike.

If we’re not paying attention to the ultra rich, we might end up in a real Squid Games.

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Housekeepers Divulge The Biggest Secrets They’ve Learned About Their Employer

Being a domestic servant is a difficult job, no matter what position you’re filling.

People who work personally and privately for others in their homes always seem to have a mountian of tasks.

These jobs can also be tedious and humdrum. But they can also be intriguing.

One of the perks of these types of jobs can be the secrets and information you become privy to.

Honey, there are just some lives you learn about that could rival storylines on “Dynasty.”

After all, truth is stranger than fiction.

Everyone on Reddit wanted to drink up the hot, hot tea delivered by Redditor Hunterofshadows when they asked:

“Housekeepers of reddit, what do you know about the owners of the houses that they don’t know you know?”

Now this ought to be scolding darling…

What a Stinker!

“Not a house keeper but a nanny. A family once took me on vacation with them so I could watch their kids while they‘d go out and explore the area.”

“That week, my bed was the couch in the living room. It’s late at night, the kids are sleeping, I’m laying on the couch and the parents get back.”

“The dad says, “is she sleeping” referring to me? I didn’t say anything so apparently he assumed yes.”

“He then started farting very loudly.”  ~ sisof2

One Day at a Time…

“Dog walker, here. I was dog sitting for an older work friend once and saw her “days sober” calendar.”  

“I was simultaneously sad, because I had no idea she was struggling, and happy for her because she had almost a full month marked off.”  ~ cleanandclaire

“I will hit 3 weeks on Sunday. This is the longest I have gone without alcohol in 10 years.”

“The only times it was longer before that were the 3 times I was deployed overseas and no alcohol available.”  ~ RSchnars

Not so loud next time…

“I’m a nanny. The last family worked for I overheard the Dad calling his insurance asking if a certain Rehab was covered.”

“He talks LOUD naturally. I heard what he was going for and everything.”

“Nobody knew not family not friends. Just me and them. They never knew I knew.”  ~ Thesugarsky

Some special announcements…

“Our maid service found our positive pregnancy test in the bathroom trash, after presumably finding negative pregnancy tests in the bathroom trash for the previous 12 months.”

“Left us a nice little congratulations note on my wife’s nightstand.”  ~ fizzleguy

“Mine found the “Best new daddy” mug I gave my husband.”

“Bless them, they hadn’t said a word about what had been in the trash.”

“Unfortunately, I had to follow that up with the miscarriage news a month or so later.” ~ ttcanuck

A Passage to Nowhere…

“House I used to work at had a secret passage from the master bed to the attic, also a secret passage from a cabinet in the great room leading to the exterior of the garage.” ~ madiet6uwu

“I grew up in a house with a trap door in the pantry floor that led to a bricked in “cell” in the basement.”

“The house was built in the early middle 19th century in an area that became known for Underground Railroad traffic and then as a Prohibition smuggling route.”

“So I’m sure that little room had some history to it.”

“Edit: Unless you guys know more about my house than the people from the university that came and checked out the house, please stop telling me it’s a cellar or root storage. It isn’t.”  ~Capt_Hawkeye_Pierce

“I just worked in a house a few months ago that had this!”

“10 million dollar mansion built in the late 1800’s.”

“They started in the kitchen/servants quaters and ran behind the walls coming out in each room with staircases that went up to the second floor and down to the basement.”

“Some of them were sealed off but the ones in the living room, master bed and basement still had their functioning pocket doors.”

“It was really awesome and made me feel like a kid again exploring them.”  ~ iHateMonkeysSObad

A Whole New World!

“A bit of an innocent one but while I was cleaning I saw this cabinet that was very large.”

“Like someone could fit a body in there. So, being curious, I opened it and saw A WHOLE ROOM.”

“It was crazy! Inside there was a bed and lights attached to these tall wood pieces.”

“Then a mini bookshelf with some books and a desk and computer. It was absolutely amazing.”  ~ LemmeHear

Well that’s a surprise!!

“Where she keeps her sex toys. It’s not obvious.” 

“One day I noticed that whenever I used the toilet the water was barely enough to send away my “deposit” so I opened the water tank to adjust it and I found not only one but several.”

“Well they are waterproof I thought.”  ~ yaarty

“I’m not a housekeeper but my late aunt used to be. One of her clients, who was fairly well-to-do, had a whole closet full of genital themed toys.”

“And when I say “toys,” I’m not using a euphemism for “sex enhancement items” or anything like that. Literal genital toys.”

“Windup penises with googly eyes on them, PEZ dispensers shaped like the most browsed pages of a skin mag (I suspect these weren’t official PEZ brand).”

“Rather risque variants on “pin the tail on the donkey”, a Nerf-like gun that fired foam phalluses.”  ~Times_Hunger

“My aunt is currently a house keeper.”

“The had this one client who would throw used feminine hygiene products under the bed; pads specifically.”

“No matter how I think about this I just can’t imagine how someone can get to that level of grossness.”

“If you’ve ever had a heavy menstrual cycle and wore a pad, you know sometimes not everything is absorbed into the pad.”

“You need to immediately sit down in the toilet or it can quite literally go everywhere.” ~ aamirazeal

She’s a Whole Hot Mess!!

“That she got a DUI. Typical religious white collar family; husband, wife, and 4 teen kids.”

“She had one of those at home breathalyzer tests from the court sitting in the master bathroom, it takes your picture as you blow into it and it sends it to your probation officer.”

“I only know because I was on probation a few years ago and had one too.”

“Curiosity got the best of me and I looked at her public record… yup.”

“DUI and she messed up on probation too, had another court date. After that I started noticing 12 step books and such.”  ~ LunaTheFerret

The way people live

“Working in hotels is similar to cleaning someone’s house, because those comfortable will lay it out for you.”

“You can tell if someone is messy or tidy at home, how well they take care their things, what they eat, how much they drink, what medical problems they may have.”

“And if you get the chance to meet them you can piece together why they live the way they do by telling their stories.”

“I never made fun of our guests or judged them. That would be so unfair and intrusive.”  ~ silly-noodle

I See You!

“My cleaning guy caught me leaving the house once.”

“Said he knew I smoked pot because he’d find stuff for it a lot and asked if he could find me some for a camping trip with his wife.”

“I freaked a little after he just said “I know you do marijuana”. I was like am I catching a lecture.”

“We moved like a month later so I never really saw him face to face again. Hope he enjoyed it.”

“They were good people and appreciated us more than they ever had to.”  ~ 420Minions

See, if you have people in your house—personal or staff—assume you’re always being watched.

I’ve always wanted to be able to afford cleaning help, and if I ever can, I’m going to make sure to be on alert.

The walls really do have ears.

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Chefs Share The Best Cooking Tips All Amateur Cooks Should Know

If you’re anything like us, this pandemic means you’ve had a sharp spike in your cooking show viewership.

We’ve spent the last year and change being baking champions, totally nailing things, chopping our way through challenges, and scoffing at everyone who tries to make a risotto in round one (that rice is totally going to be undercooked!).

For most of us, our culinary training consists of sitting on our couches munching on grown-up lunchables while we “learn” from TV chefs. There are, however, some brave souls among us who have actual kitchen experience and real room to talk… and they’d probably tell you not to try a risotto in round one.

Reddit user BigBadWolf44 asked: 

“Chefs of Reddit, what’s one rule of cooking amateurs need to know?”

Risky risotto aside, chefs have tons of cooking tips and tricks to share with we mere mortals. So let’s put down the remote, pick up a pan, and get this party started.

First put on pants, though.

Safety over everything—nobody likes burned bits.

Hold The Salt 

“A lot of the time when people add salt to a dish because they think it tastes flat, what it really needs is an acid like lemon juice or vinegar” 

– Vexvertigo

“Agreed. These are what I sometimes use to add acid depending on the recipe:”

“white/red/rice/malt vinegar, some chilli sauces, lemon or lime, wine, sherry, dry vermouth, preserved lemon.” 

– MayaSummerX

“Ah the discovery of citrus and vinegar was a great turning point in my cooking. I always call it the ‘tang,’ so I’ll hit it with a splash of vinegar/citrus and it just brightens up the flavors.”

“This was very important when trying to achieve proper Asian and Latin flavors.”

– Sheruk

We Like To Call It “Smaste” 

“Smell is very similar to taste, and if you’re not sure about combining various spices, open the bottles and smell them all together.”

– SuddenSenseOfSonder

“Smell literally is taste because of retronasal olfaction. The receptors on your tongue can only do the 5 basic flavors: sweet, salty, umami, bitter, sour”

– ChonglerV

“Oh, that makes a lot of sense!”

“I cook for myself with no training, but whenever I’m seasoning anything I always judge what to add based on how it smells. People often think I’m weird for it, but it always turns out pretty good.”

– AerialSnack

“WHAT? ITS THAT EASY?! IMA TRY THAT WHEN MY ROOMMATES ARE UP NORTH!”

“Its cookin time. I’m gonna make hella snacks.”

– Zenketski

“I’ve cooked professionally for years and I still do this.”

“If I’m not sure what a soup or dish needs, I take a bit of said soup to the spice rack and take a small taste, then smell a spice, seasoning or what have you.”

“Go down the line tasting and smelling til you find a combination that makes you go ‘mmmmmmm.’ “

– disgruntledcabdriver

Subtraction Isn’t A Thing, Unless You’re Adding

“You can always add, but you cannot take away.”

– El_Duende666

“I decided to put a couple globs of Mad Dog 357 in a pasta sauce. It’s like 300k something scoville but figured in a crock pot worth of sauce it won’t be too bad and add a little spice.”

“Made about 15 mason jars of sauce.”

“I regretted that decision. You cannot make something not spicy if you make it too spicy.”

“I made another pasta sauce but kept the mason jars from the other one too since I don’t like to waste. Now it’s Russian roulette every time I decide to eat pasta.”

– RedSquirrelFtw

“To build on that – when cooking, you must add to take away.”

“Say for example you add too much salt. Not to worry, just double everything else in the recipe and you’ve now halved the salt content.”

– MayaSummerX

And While We’re Talking About Too Much v. Too Little…

“Chill out with the flames.”

“If you’re not ready for high-heat, cooking many things at once, or if you simply can’t imagine staying by the stove for a long time to give the food your FULL attention then please, for the love of salt, turn the burner down!”

“You can always cook it more, you can’t un-burn it.”

– Lett3rsandnum8er5

“You can also always add more heat, but it is impossible to uncook something that is overcooked.”

– ForgettableUsername

“For grilling, I’ve always said you can undercook, then cook more, but can never uncook.”

– facelesspirit

On Fumbling A Knife

“Not really a cooking tip, but a law of the kitchen: A falling knife has no handle. Meaning don’t try to catch it, there is no safe way.” 

– wooddog

“I’m always so proud of my reflexes for NOT kicking in when I fumble a knife.”

“If I drop anything else, my stupid hands are all over themselves trying to catch it (and often failing).”

“But with a knife the hardwired automatic reaction is jump back immediately. Fingers out of the way, feet out of the way, everything out of the way.”

“Good lookin out, cerebellum!”

– sonyka

“Speaking of KICKING in…”

“On my first full time cooking job I had a knife spin and fall off the counter. My (stupid) reflex was to put my foot under it like a damn hacky sack to keep it from hitting the ground.”

“I’m insanely lucky; the blade went through the shoe, somehow between my toes, and into the sole somehow without cutting me.”

“Lessons learned: (1) let it fall; (2) never set a knife down close to the edge or with the handle sticking out; (3) hacky sack is not nearly as cool as it could be.”

– AdjNounNumbers

The Critical Click

“When you grab a pair of tongs, click them a few times to make sure they are tongs.”

– Kolshdaddy

“People really overlook this one. You’ve gotta tong the tongs a minimum of 3 times to make sure they tong, or else it can ruin the whole dish.”

– BigTimeBobbyB

“It’s also critical that you giggle and call yourself a crab when you do it.”

– CommodoreCliche

“It’s also good practice to sing ‘tong t-tong tong tongs’ a la Sisqo’s ‘Thong Song.’ It helps cement the idea that you are holding tongs.”

– larj_Brest

You’re Probably Making Veggies Wrong

“Really think about what size you’re cutting your vegetables in relation to cook time.”

“It’s better to have a perfectly cooked larger vegetable that you have to use fork and knife a bit to eat at the table than a bunch of overcooked, mushy bite sized pieces.”

“Generally speaking, the best simple preparation of cooking a vegetable is usually roasted on a sheet pan with olive oil, S&P.”

“And for god’s sakes, make your own salad dressings fresh!”

“It takes no time, you likely have what you already need in your pantry, and it tastes 10x as good as the crap in the bottle. You’ll be surprised even how much better Ranch dressing tastes if you get the dry seasoning packets and mix it with some fresh milk and mayo and let it set for 30 minutes in the refrigerator.”

– JasonK87919
“Roasted vegetables are great. I used to hate them, and my problem was I wasn’t roasting them long enough.”

“They’d either be hard and undercooked, or mushy. The key for me was to cook them past the mushiness stage to get them to where a lot of moisture is out of them and they have browned a bit (or more!).”

– putsch80

“One of the main reasons people saying they don’t like roasted veggies is not fully preheating their oven before putting the sheet pan in.”

“Yeah you put your timer on for the right time, but the first 5 maybe 10 minutes don’t really count. Now everything is just weird.”

– wickedzeus

… um, okay yeah that last comment might have hit a little too close to home. I promise from now on to actually wait for the pre-heat to be over before I put things in the oven.

Or at least to TRY and wait.

And to sigh and go “Reddit was right” every time I forget and my veggies come out gummy.

It’s the least I can do.

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People Who’ve Called In To A Police Tip Line And Gotten The Reward Share Their Story

There are, at last count, around 8 billion people on the planet.

The odds of someone seeing a crime committed are actually quite high when put into that perspective.

That’s where tip lines come in. The crime is committed, someone knows about it, and they call the number and get a nice little reward for their assistance.

Of course, for the people that call the line, how they got there is the real story.

Redditor Renzotl56 was curious and so came to Reddit to ask:

“Has anyone here ever actually called into one of the FBI rewards for information on criminals and won the money? And what happened?”

Coincidence can pay handsomely.

“Ten years ago I’m working front desk at this third rate motel and I’m the only employee on property until 7am.”

“So I get this report of an unruly guest and check it out.”

“Dudes whacked out on something, threatening other guests and I call the cops to remove him.”

“On their way out they tell me he’s got active warrants in another state.”

“I don’t think anything of until three months later I got a check sent to me at work from a sheriff’s office two states over.”

“Turns out the guy was wanted for a double murder and I got the reward when he was convicted.”

“I felt pretty good about that.”~still_alive_in_NY

The reward isn’t always money.

“This is kind of related, when I was younger there was a bad drought and the lake I went to fish at was probably 10 feet below where it usually is maybe more, and I went to go fishing under a bridge with my stepdad.”

“I got bored so I started playing in the rocks.”

“I found an old pocket knife and a pistol.”

“Turned the pistol in to the local police department and got a metal back from them and a letter where it was used in a case to convict a murderer, I don’t really remember the details I was in fourth or fifth grade“~p*ssycrusha69

Sometimes, the best reward is a job well done.

“My sister has a pretty weird hobby – she solves cold cases by helping match descriptions of bodies that have never been positively ID’d to missing persons matching the body’s description.”

“She’s solved several cases and submits them to the FBI tip line.”

“Twice now, she’s gotten phone calls from law enforcement as a result, one from the FBI and one from a local police department.”

“One had reward money tied to it from long, long ago.”

“She turned it down.”

“Both times, she’s informed the agency calling that the missing person disappeared before she was 10 years old (that’s her limit, she doesn’t look at recent cases to avoid potential problems), and they just kinda shrug and move on.”

“That’s all.”~notsolittleliongirl

Some people had to give a bit more help than others. 

“In college we had a drive-by shooting on my block.”

“The police showed up and asked all the neighbors if they had any information.”

“I had just heard the shots from my house, and wasn’t able to help.”

“A few days later I was walking home from class and I found a shell casing the in the grass near where the shooting was.”

“I didn’t want to touch it so I got home and called the police.”

“I was very very specific about exactly where the shell casing was, and that I DO NOT want the police to come to my door.”

“The neighbors were pretty sketchy people and I just didn’t want to be seen being involved.”

“Well, these f*cking cops walked right to my front door and asked for me.”

“I told them exactly where to find it (again), they walked to the general area, looked for maybe a minute, then walked back to my front door and asked if I could show where it was.”

“Godd*mit.”

“So I led them to shell casing while the sketchy neighbors stood on their porch and watched (looking very displeased).”

“Apparently, the fingerprints on the casing matched one of their suspects and he was arrested and went to jail.”

“The cops stopped by a few months later with a $20 giftcard to a sub shop.”~Throwaway_stopdrink

The real villain here is soap. 

“I called CrimeStoppers once.”

“The local news released a video of someone violently robbing a store.”

“They beat up the cashier pretty bad.”

“I knew it the second the video started who it was—a guy I used to party with and had spent the night with a few times.”

“The CrimeStopper folks gave me a number to write down to claim the money if he was convicted.”

“I wrote it on my hand then washed it off accidentally like an idiot.”

“It was on the smaller side, I think around $1k, but it would have made a big difference at the time.”

“And the guy did end up getting convicted and is still in prison now.”

“I’m sure a bunch of people called in, though, so I don’t know how much I would have gotten.”

“Anyone who grew up in my area who was around my age would have known the guy.”~yourerightaboutthat

It isn’t always about what you know, but where you are. 

“My step-mom got a $25k FBI reward when she came across a girl who had been abducted (and her whole family was murdered).”

“The girl had been held in the cabin next door to my parents’ cabin for about 3 months.”

“The guy who did it left her alone for a couple of hours and she escaped, in the middle of winter in a very cold area.”

“My step-mom was walking her dog in a pretty isolated area and the girl ran up to her; she was obviously very disoriented and traumatized but step-mom helped her escape through the woods to a safe place and call the cops.”

“There was a huge media circus, and although all the reward money ($25k from the FBI and $25k from a local business) was awarded to my step-mom, she concluded that since the girl had technically rescued herself, it was appropriate for the money to go to her.”

“(Apparently there is some rule that you can’t get FBI reward money in a case where you’re either the victim or perpetrator, so the money had to be accepted and then gifted back to the girl.)”

“In the end, the girl got the money and my step-mom got a big tax bill that year because reward money is taxable.”

“She got to be interviewed on national TV by Gayle King though and, y’know, helped save someone’s life.”

“So she’s pretty okay with it.”~cityofdestinyunbound

Usually, though, it’s about who you know. 

“One of my wife’s co-workers received a substantial reward for turning in the so-called ’20th hijacker’, Zacarias Moussaoui.”~reg-o-matic

And, 

“Worked at a small, local bank.”

“A regular customer comes in and I greeted them by name.”

“They hand their check and a note to me.”

“Note says they have a gun and to hand over all the money in the drawer.”

“I comply and as the customer leaves I push the emergency button.”

“We had all of this person’s info on file and the police caught them at home.”

“Bank recovered the money, person went to jail, and I got a small reward for ‘catching’ them”~mpshanny87

The little laws are always the hardest to avoid. 

“Don’t remember the full details but my mom called the cops on some guy who was featured on America’s Most Wanted.”

“Guy was on the run for several things I think but still took time out to get his tag renewed at the DMV.”~whatnameisnttaken098

Even criminals can show kindness. 

“My neighbor down the road growing up was always getting into trouble.”

“One day someone robbed a gas station with a gun, and accidentally shot the clerk (so he claimed), and the police didn’t know who did it.”

“After about a month, they offered up a small reward for information.”

“The guy arranged to have his wife turn him in to collect the reward because she would need it since he knew he was going away for a long time.“~samuraidogparty

From terrorists to belligerent hotel guests, all were brought to justice by the power of tip lines.

While the rewards weren’t always substantial, the above stories are really about people working together to keep everyone else safe.

That’s always a good call.