Times When Kids Really Did Say the Darndest Things

Kids say the funniest things…sometimes…

Like the time 5-year-old Bindi Irwin met her baby brother Robert, and decided that he should be called Brian “for short.”

Well back in January, feminist author @JessicaValenti tweeted about an incident that happened when her child was about that same age:

It was a great metaphor for life, and it spawned a whole thread of users telling funny things that their own children had said.

A lot of users focused on how children don’t pull punches, sometimes being brutal without even meaning to.

Picture book author Pat Zietlow Miller shared a time when her young daughter innocently cut her to the quick:

And another user shared her child’s response to her own midlife crisis hairdo.

Kids, man. Brutal, and brutally honest.

Sometimes they’re just trying to be helpful though, like when Heidi Hodges’ daughter overruled her little brother’s kindness.

And we all know what it’s like to be seen as the not-fun parent, but I love this user’s response.

I guess it would be way too mean to respond, “I know Dad’s the fun parent, just like your brother is the fun child.”

Yeah, you’re right. Parents have to be the parent, fun or otherwise.

Some of the one-liners parents shared were just hilarious, liked this one from Bonnie Jean:

Use the Force, Luke. Be the armadillo.

I love it.

And you know, it makes sense, because kids just really love animals.

So comparisons to animals are usually a compliment:

Until they try to turn you into one:

Kids, as we all know, also like to eat weird things.

(Let’s hope this isn’t why the 5-year-old wanted to turn her sister into a fish…)

And this kid… The shade.

But I mean, he has a point.

And just… wow.

Weird eating habits aside, sometimes even the best kids will misbehave.

As parents, you just have to teach them how to say they’re sorry.

Even if it makes you want to bust out laughing.

And when life gets them down:

Teach them to look on the bright side.

(This kid must have been friends with @welshlady17’s little girl.)

It’s so true what they say. Kids really do say the darndest things.

What’s something hilarious that a small child in your life has said? Tell us in the comments!

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An ER Doctor Went Viral for Pointing Out That Fast Food Is All Some People Can Afford

There’s no question that everything, including food, keeps getting more and more expensive.

Add in a food desert, and people are paying crazy prices for fresh food the rest of us take for granted.

So when a doctor tweeted about the relative costs of fast food compared to fresh food, her thread went viral, with lots of people weighing in on both sides.

Emily Porter is an ER doctor and cancer survivor living in Austin, Texas.

When she tweeted about the cost of food, she was urging empathy and asking people not to judge others, but she had to know it was going to be controversial:

A lot of Twitter users doubted that a medical doctor would eat McDonald’s for lunch, as though they don’t rack up thousands in debt from medical school, and as though they don’t crave fast food like other humans.

But Dr. Porter took the time to explain her background:

Not only did she grow up poor, but she worked on the front lines of poverty, watching others in her community purchase what they could afford at a fast food restaurant.

She even took the time to explain the food desert in her area, and the fact that people basically only shop at the dollar store.

The responses to her tweet ran the gamut. Some came with empathy and agreement, others did not.

Apparently some even suggested that the poor should invest in Blue Apron meals, which surprised me, because meal kits tend to be pricey. They definitely cost more than McDonald’s.

Here was Dr. Porter’s response:

But that is the point of such a tweet–starting a conversation that needs to be had.

Some people argued that fast food eaters were lazy:

To which others replied, it’s not just about the money. It’s about the cost of time and labor too.

Some people even argued that the poor should buy a rotisserie chicken at Sam’s Club or Costco.

Few pointed out that those are loaded with sodium, but some people did point out the absolute tone-deafness of such a suggestion.

Bored Panda said that a major argument, that cooking healthy food is cheaper, isn’t necessarily true.

And unlike Twitter users, they brought the receipts:

According to the results of a meta-analysis published in 2013 in BMJ Open, a healthier diet costs $1.48 more a day, which would add up to $540.20 a year, and for a family of four, the amount would equal to $2,160.80.

The article did note that a UK study disagrees with this assessment, so maybe it’s regional. The UK is very different from the US in a lot of ways, maybe it would generally be less expensive to eat healthier in the UK and not in the US.

A lot of people suggested eating beans.

Many users, however, completely agreed with Dr. Porter’s assessment of the cost of eating.

And they pointed out a lot of things that it’s easy to overlook from a privileged point-of-view.

Like the cost of time…

…the fact that just because something is possible, doesn’t mean everyone has the ability to make it work…

…and the simple fact that fast food is easier to chew than, say, a carrot.

It’s safe to say that there are no easy answers to this question, but one thing is for sure: it’s a frustrating situation that needs to improve.

What do you think? Does Dr. Porter have a point? Is this system set up to be broken? Let us know in the comments.

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A Kid’s Poem About Online School Went Viral Because It Is Too Real

It’s been a rough year for most of us in a lot of ways.

But there has been comfort in the fact that we were all going through it together–the staying in doors, the wearing masks, the endless meetings on Zoom.

So when one 7-year-old wrote a poem expressing his dissatisfaction with online schooling, literally everyone on Twitter ecstatically agreed.

The child’s babysitter Julia posted the anti ode online last year and instantly went viral.

Here’s the text…

Boring online school
Today is just another day
in a long line of days
staring at a dumb screen
Just boring boring
online school that’s the
only thing that did happen
it’s the only thing that is
happening that’s the only
thing that will happen

So many people commented their concern about the boy that his baby sitter felt compelled to elaborate that he wasn’t depressed or in danger.

She went on to explain that this was an assignment for school, and I personally loved that she described him as snarky, because it feels like something I would have done in college, rather than first grade.

Many of the more literary minded Twitter users were impressed with the artistic nature of the poem.

I’m guessing they were English majors like I was.

Others took the poem and played with it, putting their own spin on the form, such as this one, which distilled the poem down into one perfect Haiku that encapsulates 2020.

While others cleverly compared it to well known classics:

And still others compared it to funny things other children have done, both in the distant past:

And more recently:

The poem evoked a lot of visceral feelings about life amid the pandemic.

It raised debate over the merits of online schooling and the fact that kids generally feel just as bored sitting in a desk in person.

But as someone who loves working from home, and at the same time despises the endless hours of meetings, I felt this poem in the very depths of my being.

As one user expressed so clearly:

What do you think? Did his poem make you feel seen, or just make you a little bit sad for kids these days?

Let us know in the comments.

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This Thread from an Inuit Person Shows the Incredible Expense of Fresh Food in the Arctic

Pretty much everything seems expensive these days. But what do you do about price gouging?

One Inuit shopper, fed up with the price of fresh foods for sale in the Arctic, took to Twitter, and soon, the thread went Viral.

The thread started in response to vegan lifestyle proponents arguing that the Inuit way of life, which includes a great deal of hunting and fishing, is inherently cruel and unnecessary.

Twitter user @KataraPiujuq responded by laying down some facts about life in the Arctic.

The thread also showed the price tags of many every day food items that most of us take for granted.

First there was bagged lettuce, still $12.99 despite being 50% off.

Fresh broccoli was $16.79 per kilogram. For Americans, that’s around $8.50 per pound.

A carton of fruit juice ranged from $11 to $13 in Nunavut, while red grapes went from a whopping $23.49 per kilogram before subsidy to a no-less-shocking $15.99 per kilogram after subsidy.

One of the most shocking photos showed a watermelon for sale for $70. Granted, it was a 15 lb watermelon, but still. Who can pay that much for a melon?

And a bundle of asparagus might be good for you, but it’s going to cost you $32 per kilogram.

The subsidies seem to help a little bit. A 10 lb bag of russet potatoes went from over $60 down to about $22.

For comparison, though, that same bag of potatoes cost only $3.99 in Toronto.

With that in mind, the subsidies feel like a slap in the face to a shopper on a budget.

And it makes you wonder how much the pre-subsidy prices are inflated, like the “regular” price in a clothing store that always has everything “on sale.”

Comments displayed shock and dismay. On a purely logical level, you might expect food prices to rise in the Arctic due to the expense of transporting them there.

But the actual result is far worse than most people would have imagined.

And while some of the comments devolved into arguments about the virtues of veganism, most people agreed that the Inuit way of life, including hunting and fishing, is a sustainable one that should be allowed to continue.

Unfortunately, a live-and-let-live mentality may not be enough.

But the original poster is one step ahead, promoting charities that help bring equity to this food OASIS.

Turns out, hanging on to one’s traditions and cultures may not only about remembering the past, but a matter of survival.

What do you think about this situation? Are these prices unfair?

Let us know your thoughts in the comments!

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A Woman’s Thread About Her Obsessive Stalker Is Scary and Accurate

Stalking is more common than you think – a fact illustrated by writer and activist Johnnie Jae, who decided to share her own story of being stalked as a teenager.

She hopes that by telling her story, other young women will realize that they’re not alone…and that they should speak up if something similar happens to them.

When she was 19, a man in his late twenties, a library employee, started following her home after she visited his place of employment.

Part One

Part Two

Part Three

Part Four

Part Five

He freaked her out so badly that she quit going to the library, but it wasn’t long before he showed up at her new job.

Part Six

Part Seven

Part Eight

Like many women, she wondered what she’d done. She wondered if she’d encouraged him, if she was freaking out about nothing, if she should chill.

Part Nine

Part Ten

Part Eleven

Luckily, people around her let her know that she was not overreacting at all.

Part Twelve

Part Thirteen

Part Fourteen

Part Fifteen

Part Sixteen

Still, it got worse.

Part Seventeen

Part Eighteen

Part Nineteen

Then, he disappeared.

Part Twenty

Part Twenty-One

It was a strange feeling, to go from being frightened for her own life to being relieved at the loss of someone else’s, but the man’s bizarre and escalating behavior was a red flag no one should ignore.

Part Twenty-Two

Plenty of women had similar experiences, and they were willing to share too.

Seems like most women have a story like this.

It’s honestly really scary how often this happens.

It’s both frightening and empowering, to realize that so many people understand what it’s like to go through something like this, but the big takeaways are this: tell someone, and you’re not alone.

Have a story you want to share? Let us know in the comments.

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Man With ADHD Perfectly Sums Up His Condition in This Viral Twitter Thread

Have you heard of Yashar Ali?

He’s a journalist and his tweets frequently go viral because he brings a lot of real talk to the table.

Recently, Ali shared what it’s like living with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, or ADHD, in an epic Twitter thread. Soon enough, ADHD became a trending topic and the conversation about the often misunderstood condition had a spotlight shown on it.

Check it out!

1. The frustration people feel is overwhelming

Photo Credit: yashar/Twitter

2. People with ADHD can focus. But some things are significant triggers

Photo Credit: yashar/Twitter

3. Understanding is key for those who want to empathize

Photo Credit: yashar/Twitter

4. The cycle of shame is real with ADHD

Photo Credit: yashar/Twitter

5. Ali thinks adults are under-diagnosed for this disorder

Photo Credit: yashar/Twitter

6. It can have a significant impact on relationships

Photo Credit: yashar/Twitter

7. One key for Ali is not letting things slip

Photo Credit: yashar/Twitter

8. More and more, companies are willing to accommodate ADHD

Photo Credit: yashar/Twitter

9. Don’t let it destroy your life

Photo Credit: yashar/Twitter

Bravo Yashar! Bravo!

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This Amazing Twitter Thread Details All of the Weird Ways Your Brain Is Lying to You

Pop psychology is awesome, and with people’s attention spans getting shorter and shorter these days (thanks, internet), it shouldn’t surprise us that we can glean a surprising amount of uber cool knowledge from places like Twitter.

Case and point – this thread that serves as a tidy reminder that we mostly don’t understand the advanced biological computers that run our bodies and our lives, day and night.

tl;dr: brains are weird and wonderfully adaptive and you don’t have to understand them to appreciate those facts.

Photo Credit: Twitter

But wait…there’s more!

Photo Credit: Twitter

And still more…

Here are some ways to check it yourself. (Hint: Do not shine a laser in your eyes, though).

Photo Credit: Twitter

He’s not done yet… tl;dr (again): be wary of cephalopods.

Photo Credit: Twitter

Now he is. Have fun out there!

The post This Amazing Twitter Thread Details All of the Weird Ways Your Brain Is Lying to You appeared first on UberFacts.

This Amazing Twitter Thread Details All of the Weird Ways Your Brain Is Lying to You

Pop psychology is awesome, and with people’s attention spans getting shorter and shorter these days (thanks, internet), it shouldn’t surprise us that we can glean a surprising amount of uber cool knowledge from places like Twitter.

Case and point – this thread that serves as a tidy reminder that we mostly don’t understand the advanced biological computers that run our bodies and our lives, day and night.

tl;dr: brains are weird and wonderfully adaptive and you don’t have to understand them to appreciate those facts.

Photo Credit: Twitter

But wait…there’s more!

Photo Credit: Twitter

And still more…

Here are some ways to check it yourself. (Hint: Do not shine a laser in your eyes, though).

Photo Credit: Twitter

He’s not done yet… tl;dr (again): be wary of cephalopods.

Photo Credit: Twitter

Now he is. Have fun out there!

The post This Amazing Twitter Thread Details All of the Weird Ways Your Brain Is Lying to You appeared first on UberFacts.

Man Sets the Record Straight About the Largest Slave Rebellion in Colonial American History

The largest slave rebellion in North American history – the Stono rebellion – is commemorated by a small signpost in South Carolina and a total of three sentences. But one man took to Twitter to (epically) set the record straight.

So here’s your history lesson for the day all wrapped up in a neat, tidy Twitter thread.

Here’s the original signpost:

Photo Credit: Twitter

And so begins your education:

Photo Credit: Twitter

You’re not the only one just learning about this now.

Photo Credit: Twitter

The post Man Sets the Record Straight About the Largest Slave Rebellion in Colonial American History appeared first on UberFacts.

This Twitter Thread Will Educate You About Vaginas

Considering the fact that 50% of the population owns a vagina and a good percentage of people who don’t will have concerns related to a vagina at some point in their lives, it’s truly amazing how much people don’t know (or don’t want to discuss) about the female-owned organ.

Proof? Women still buy douche and wear fancy panties every day of their lives.

But Twitter user Alison Pool is taking us all to school – and trust me, you’ll probably learn something before she’s done!

tl:dr: Vaginas are like self-cleaning ovens. Don’t mess put cleaning products in them, let them air out once in a while, and if they appear broken, go see a professional. Oh yeah, and always pee after you have sex. #glam

And so it begins.

Photo Credit: Twitter

Now you know. Don’t let men tell you how to take care of your ladybits, friends. Do it your own damn selves.

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