Parents Who Are Craving Some Alone Time: These Tweets Are for You

From the reports I’m hearing from various friends of mine, I’ve learned two things lately…

One: every single person with kids is about to lose their shit because we’ve all been trapped together with our families for months now.

Two: moms and dads really haven’t been able to have ANY alone time at all. And I’m not even talking about with each other, I’m talking about people spending time on their own, alone, enjoying a few moments of peace.

But, by the sounds of it, they definitely need it now more than ever.

Let’s check out these tweets from parents who could really use a little time by themselves.

1. That oughta keep ’em occupied.

At least for a little bit, right?

2. That’s a wild joke that will never happen.

Trust me on this one.

3. Problem solved.

You got nothing to worry about!

4. Not a good idea.

Next time, consider your options.

5. This sounds like paradise.

Am I dreaming?

6. Yes, you must leave.

And take your time!

7. LEAVE ME ALONE.

At least for a little while.

8. It doesn’t exist anymore.

But you can hope for the future…

9. That is a good plan.

And you’re damn right! It sounds glorious!

10. Too late for that.

Any other ideas?

11. Now we’re getting somewhere.

Don’t blow this opportunity.

12. We all knew it wasn’t going to happen.

But we can all wish…

Parents, we sincerely hope that you get some much-deserved alone time very soon.

But before that happens, tell us how it’s going in your household right now. Are you losing your mind? Barely holding on?

Are the kids behaving or are they climbing the walls?

Tell us everything in the comments!

We look forward to hearing from you!

The post Parents Who Are Craving Some Alone Time: These Tweets Are for You appeared first on UberFacts.

Hilarious Tweets From Parents Who Really Need Some Alone Time

Parents, are you craving a little quiet time right about now?

It’s especially tough to do right now because of this lockdown that has everyone crammed into close quarters with their families for months on end.

Two words sum up the whole experience: NOT COOL.

We all need alone time and parents especially need some alone time once in a while. But, as you know, it can be tough for them to get any kind of silence.

Parents, these tweets are for you.

1. Take over that fort!

Teach them a lesson.

2. Hey, that’s pretty good!

Pay attention to this mom’s advice.

3. The only quiet place.

You gotta do what you gotta do.

4. No more sunshine, please!

I can’t take this much longer!

5. Just do what you need to do.

And try to keep them occupied!

6. You’re not alone…

The baby in your stomach knows…

7. You’re preaching to the choir.

And, by the way, it’s not gonna happen.

8. Silence is golden.

And that’s the best reward anyone can ask for.

9. A vicious cycle.

But, what are you gonna do?

10. Words to live by.

You deserve it!

11. Here comes a meltdown.

I’m warning you!

12. That’s not a bad idea.

Give it a shot. See if it works.

13. A brilliant maneuver.

Why didn’t I think of that…

Okay, now we want to hear from all the moms and dads out there.

Are you going nuts right about now with absolutely no peace and quiet? How are you getting your alone time? Are you getting ANY alone time?

Talk to us in the comments.

Please and thank you!

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These Funny Tweets All Have More Than 100,000 Likes

These last several months have been awfully tough for everyone, but I will say that online humor sure seems to be thriving.

I’m not saying that is a good trade-off by any stretch of the imagination, I’m just making an observation.

And we have some great examples just for you!

These tweets have all garnered more than 100,000 likes in the past few months because they’re all totally hilarious!

Are you ready to dive in?

Let’s do it!

1. Thankful for this!

I was worried…

2. You’re freaking people out!

But…it is kinda funny…

3. Oh, boy…that’s not good.

What’s your screen time looking like?

4. Hahahaha. This is good.

Which character are you?

5. I’m always feeling this, too.

Time to start a new project.

6. WHO let the dogs out!

This might be the tweet of the century.

7. You have to stay entertained somehow.

Not a bad way to spend the time.

8. That is beautiful!

Isn’t nature majestic???

9. This is good.

If nothing else, people are being pretty creative right now.

10. All of these will work.

Which one will you choose for today?

11. Let’s not lie about it…

IT’S NOT GOING WELL!

12. Let’s play a game.

You know the delivery guys will be coming by A LOT.

13. This is brilliant!

You have to keep folks entertained.

Those are great!

Okay, now we want to hear from you.

In the comments, please share the funniest thing you’ve seen on social media lately.

It could be a meme, a tweet, a joke, or a photo.

Thanks in advance!

The post These Funny Tweets All Have More Than 100,000 Likes appeared first on UberFacts.

Tweets That Will Bring a Ray of Sunshine Into Your Life

Twitter is a great place for people to get out their thoughts and feelings in a brief manner and the best part is that we all get to enjoy it!

I’m talking about reading and laughing the random thoughts and observations of complete strangers. It’s a great way to keep yourself occupied if you have some time to kill.

But, instead of endlessly scrolling through Twitter, we’ve picked out some great tweets that all had more than 100,000 likes because they are pretty damn funny.

We want to bring some sunshine into your life.

And these tweets definitely all hit the mark.

1. It’s just easier, right?

And it’ll be this way for a while…

2. Think about that one.

Those poor children…

3. I needed this today!

More of this, please!

4. Nothing going on upstairs.

Hey, at least he’s honest.

5. Let this sink in…

People are really getting deep while stuck inside.

6. Maybe you don’t understand…

Or else you’d give them a break!

7. It’s a lot of fun, isn’t it?

I wonder what the hell this person is actually like…

8. We all do…we all do…

There’s no shame in saying it out loud.

9. It’s about time!

I wonder what this fella is reading…

10. That means it’s gonna be a while.

Just think of how many pigeons are out there.

11. Things are getting WEIRD.

Are we finally in the Upside Down?

12. Just do what you have to do for now.

Get through it any way you can.

13. Hey! Me, too!

We have a lot in common!

14. So beautiful…

I’m glad the river is back to its natural state.

Now it’s your turn!

In the comments, share some funny things that you’ve seen on social media lately.

We want tweets, memes, jokes, photos, all of it!

Please and thank you!

The post Tweets That Will Bring a Ray of Sunshine Into Your Life appeared first on UberFacts.

The “My Plans/2020” Meme Will Remind Us How 2020 Went off the Rails

Remember when this year started and we thought it was going to be awesome and things were really going to turn around?

Wellllllllll, it hasn’t gone quite as planned, has it?

In fact, some people might even call it an outright disaster so far.

But, maybe we have time to right the ship!

In the meantime, let’s take a look at these hilarious “My Plans/2020” memes that will remind just how insane the world is right now.

1. That’s not good.

Not good at all…

2. Going up in flames.

You better be careful!

3. She’s here!

And you were not expecting that, were you?

4. Surprise, surprise.

Didn’t go the way you expected, did it?

5. She does not look happy.

What a shitshow…

6. Here come the waterworks.

How much time have you spent crying lately?

7. It all comes crumbling down.

A fabulous disaster.

8. Well, that was unexpected.

Sorry about that, world…

9. Oh, it’s bad.

Much worse than you could even imagine.

10. Hmmmmm. Not sure how I feel about this.

Thoughts about this?

11. We all had such big plans…

And look what happened!

12. Well, that was a major tease.

Not cool…not cool at all.

13. The party’s over.

You’re in for a big shock!

14. Scary stuff.

Now I’m really freaking out!

Hey, keep your heads up, we still have a lot of time to turn this thing around!

Now we want to hear from you!

How are you holding up during all this madness?

Talk to us in the comments, we’d love to hear from you!

The post The “My Plans/2020” Meme Will Remind Us How 2020 Went off the Rails appeared first on UberFacts.

Funny Examples of the “My Plans/2020” Meme That Show How This Year Went to Sh*t

When January 1, 2020 rolled around, I think a lot of us were excited to start a new year and to finally get it right for once.

Things were gonna be different! Remember?!?!

We were going to travel, get in shape, make some new friends, and generally be more productive and social people.

Then it all went to SHIT.

And now here we are in the midst of way too many crises to even count.

And that’s what these “My Plans/2020” memes are all about: what we planned on doing this year and how it actually worked out.

So let’s take a look and have a few laughs.

And remember to hang in there!

1. Look out behind you!

Didn’t see that one coming…

2. Oh, shit!

Kevin spilling the chili is all of us right now.

3. Well, there’s this…

I guess he’s doing semi-ok.

4. How do you describe 2020?

Like a bull in a china shop.

5. Now I’m gonna have to cry.

I have something in my eye…

6. Iceberg! Straight ahead!

A little warning would have been nice.

7. Don’t look at me!

A very sad state of affairs.

8. Get out of the road!

We all know what happened to this kid from Pet Sematary.

9. Oh, no!

That’s not good!

10. In case you’re wondering…

That pole took her head off…FYI.

11. That really does not look good.

Don’t go up there!

12. My eyes!

Now, this is a real tragedy.

13. Oh, Larry…

You poor little fella!

Now let’s hear from all the readers out there!

In the comments, tell us how you’re doing.

What were your big plans for 2020? And how are you doing during all this craziness?

We look forward to hearing from you!

The post Funny Examples of the “My Plans/2020” Meme That Show How This Year Went to Sh*t appeared first on UberFacts.

People Tell Stories About Someone Ruining Their Life in an Instant

Life is very precarious.

One minute you’re on top of the world, the next minute you’ve fallen all the way down to the bottom and you feel like it’s over.

Hey, it happens…but for some people, that fall can be really bad.

What’s the fastest way you’ve seen someone ruin their life?

Let’s dive into these true stories from folks on AskReddit.

1. One bad decision.

“I had a friend in college who had a tendency to act before thinking, but was generally fun and well-meaning. After I had graduated, my friend apparently got coerced by a woman he was trying to sleep with to try heroin just once.

As I heard it, he refused initially, then caved because he felt pressured. My friend overdosed and died. Just like that, one bad decision ended his life.

RIP Mike.”

2. Depressing.

“A few kids from school went to this girls cabin over winter break, one of the girls was standing on the balcony.

And her boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare her. So she got started and jumped against the balcony railing and she fell off from the third floor and banged her spine against a huge rock from the ground and ended up being paralyzed from the neck down.

She was supposed to be a gymnast, and her boyfriend overdosed out of guilt.”

3. Holy shit.

“A kid I knew was fucking around with a handgun at a party and spun it around with his finger trying to look cool. He blew his head off right in front of everybody.

It’s a miracle that nobody else got shot and a lot of people who weren’t there think that it was intentional but it wasn’t. He was twenty years old.”

4. Drinking problem.

“In the Air Force.

This new guy joins and goes out to a bar then decides to drive home. Gets a DUI. Loses all his rank, has to pay a ton in fines but leadership fought for him and he was allowed to stay in the Air force.

2 months later as he’s paying tons of lawyer and legal fee’s, he does something really stupid… Drives home from the SAME bar drunk and gets arrested. Loses his license and gets kicked out of the military, so loses all his income while he’s thousands of dollars in debt.

That’s not even the worst part. A few months later, he celebrates being a civilian again by… You guessed it. Going to the same bar, then driving home drunk. Arrested and put in jail for a while. I can’t imagine he has many future career opportunities with a less than honorable discharge and an arrest record.”

5. Blew it.

“Knew a guy in when I was younger, he was a stud tight end in high school and college but had a drinking problem.

He had pro stats, size speed, etc… got a try out in the NFL. Flew to town went out got fucked up and never woke up in time for the try out. Showed up half a day late and they wouldn’t let him in.

Flew home and now he does mortgages working like the rest of us.”

6. A painful lesson.

“I went to a rich high school. After graduating 2 kids went to be camp counselors. One night they got drunk and drove back to the camp. They hit a tree, the passenger died.

The kid driving was from a family worth 8 figures, smart, good enough looking, popular. On his way to a top tier university.

20 years in prison.

The passenger’s family begged for no prison time but the judge said tough shit.”

7. Wow.

“Less than 24 hours. My ex neighbor’s ex girlfriend went on a racist road rage rant that got filmed. It went viral on Twitter. I remember reading the news article and thinking about her for some reason (she wasn’t named) It wasn’t until months later that I found out it was her

She was fired from her $300,000 a year job next day and immediately started getting death threats. She had to move in with her boyfriend.

She tried getting a job but people would look her up and be like wtf. She spent $10,000 on a reputation defender, changed her name, was shunned by many family and friends. Her boyfriend (who she wanted to marry) broke up with her because he couldn’t stand the months of depression. She ended up leaving the state.”

8. A personal story.

“I’m my own perfect example for this. Started abusing meth and hanging with all the wrong people. Within three months I wrecked my car, lost my home, my relationship went up in flames and I caught some misdemeanors and felonies when I had only ever had speeding tickets before then.

Now I’m on probation for the next several years or until I can pay off the thousands I owe the court, stuck living with my parents at 34, single, jobless, and struggling massively with anxiety and depression.

Yay bad choices. Yay consequences.”

9. Bad idea.

“”Hey bro watch me slap that girls ass”

Last words said by my former friend who slapped a 13 year old girl’s ass. Mind you, he didn’t notice the surveillance camera nor the cop who was walking out of the store.

He’s a registered sex offender now.”

10. Life of crime.

“Guy I knew in high school left about year 11 I think. He always seemed like a decent guy, no reason to believe otherwise.

Decided to hold up a service station with a fake pistol. Got shot from behind by a customer with a real one. Hit his shoulder blade, ricocheted up from there into his skull. They turned his life support off a few days later.

Australia, early 1990s.”

11. Wear a helmet!

“Cousin was spoiled as hell. My uncle was a millionaire lawyer and bought his relationship with his kids with money. He never had time for them. If they asked, he bought. Money was no object if he thought it made them love him.

Cousin turned 16 and got a driver’s license. He begged for a motorcycle even though he did not have a motorcycle license. My uncle bought him a brand new Kawasaki Ninja. My father pleaded with him about what a bad idea that was.

1 week later he crashed with a girl on the back of the bike and they both died upon impact. No helmet or safety gear on top of it….

Probabaly the fastest way someone ruined their life. My uncle and his son.”

12. This is bad.

“My ex cheated on me with a mentally unstable woman. He lied about working late one night to go hook up with her. She got mad at him and “punished” him by filing false rape charges.

He was pulled over and hauled to jail two blocks from her apartment complex. He was locked up in the sex offender unit of one of the worst county jails in the country over Christmas. The case never went to trial, the grand jury no-billed him for lack of evidence of a crime.

But he ended up losing me, losing his affair partner, losing his main job, losing his volunteer work, losing his side job, losing his savings account, ruining his credit, losing visitation with his daughters from a previous relationship, losing his car, losing most of his friends, losing several family relationships, and wound up living with his mom.

He also still has the arrest record because he can’t afford to have it expunged, so it shows up on every background check. It was like 4 hours between the time he called me to say he was working late and when the cops pulled him over and arrested him.

In 4 hours he completely destroyed his life.”

13. Dumbass.

“Kid in my class posted a picture of him dressed in a police costume with his knee on another kids neck.

Several captions with anti police slurs and slogans. It was addressed by the school board and he lost his scholarship and got booted off the varsity hockey team.”

14. On a dare…

“Read a story about an Australian teen who was drinking with friends and got dared to eat a slug.

The slug ended up passing Rat lungworm infection to him which made him extremely sick. He slipped into a coma which lasted 420 days, and after that he was completely paralyzed from the neck down & needed constant assistance and couldn’t even speak.

After 8 years, he passed away. His name was Sam Ballard.”

15. Brutal.

“My cousin’s kid went playing in the front yard he was 5 and he saw a frog on the road and he wanted to catch it and add it to his collection, I told him to look both ways, he did, and a car that was being chased by police came speeding down the road at 100 mph.

I tried to yank him out of the street before he got hit, but I was to slow, he got hit, killed, I got a shattered arm because the car hit my arm as I reached out to him, and now my cousin blames me, and I am emotionally damaged by seeing him on the road.

I keep getting flashbacks of the split second I could save him, and my cousin will never forgive me.”

16. This is sad.

“I am friends with a guy and through him knew his younger sister. Smart, pretty, cool. She was a doing well in college. Meets a guy and decided to get married after a few weeks without telling anyone. So she moves in with him and all of the sudden he has too much back pain to work, so she’s trying to take classes and support them both.

He lays around all day smoking pot which she buys for his pain, while she does school and waits tables all night. She also likes to party with him. It’s revealed they’ve both been doing a lot of acid.

She, of course drops out of college a few credits short of graduating. (by this point her parents and friends are begging her to come to her senses and take their help to get back and finish college, invite both of them to move in and do all the drugs they want as long as she finishes school)

Her and the husband decided the student loans plus both his and her car loans are too much, so they park the cars at the bank with notes in the windshield that they do not want them any more and disappeared.

They left a note for her parents that they were moving “out west or to Mexico” and haven’t been heard from in over 15 years.

My friend heard rumors that the guy was pimping his sister out at one point, but that was after they left that he heard, too late to do anything. About 5 years ago he told me he thinks she’s probably dead, but the parents are expecting her to come back any day now.

The parents used to be joyous people.”

Oh, boy…

Now we want to hear from you.

In the comments, tell us about the fastest way you’ve seen someone ruin their life.

Let’s get weird!

The post People Tell Stories About Someone Ruining Their Life in an Instant appeared first on UberFacts.

13 Times People Said Really Stupid Stuff on Twitter

Social media can be great for a lot of things, but sometimes when I’m flipping through peoples’ posts, all I can do is shake my damn head…

I love that these platforms give every single person out there a chance to say what’s on their mind, but some folks REALLY need to think before they post.

It’s kind of like not drinking and driving…don’t post and be stupid…or something like that.

Whatever the case, we think these are perfect examples of what I’m talking about.

Don’t be like these people…but definitely have a good laugh at them!

1. That really is crazy!

By the way, are you a Math teacher?

2. One of life’s great mysteries.

Can anyone please explain this?

3. Can I get a discount?

Not dealing with a genius.

4. This is brilliant.

Look at that again very closely…

5. Good for you!

They deserve some respect!

6. Sounds absolutely delicious.

I could go for one myself right about now.

7. Hmmmm. Good point.

Let this one sink in.

8. Be very careful.

No one wants to get a Caucasian.

9. Go ahead and try it.

This person is a scientist, no doubt about it.

10. I prefer the michael wave, but that’s just me.

What do you think?

11. Hell yes!

I’ll be over to help you eat them…and to work on your grammar.

12. We won’t have to worry about it.

It’s just too far away, right?

13. Get out that sexy bird leaf.

That’s what it’s called, right?

Oh, people…let’s try to get it together, shall we?

Okay, now let’s hear from you.

Yeah, YOU!

Please share something really stupid you’ve seen someone post on social media lately.

Do it in the comments!

We can’t wait to hear from you!

The post 13 Times People Said Really Stupid Stuff on Twitter appeared first on UberFacts.

13 Memes That Sum up the Madness That Is 2020

Memes that sum up 2020 are going to be relevant for many years, because we aren’t going to stop talking about this crazy year anytime soon.

If you’re a fan of memes and want to laugh-cry about the madness that is this year, well, have we got a list for you!

13. I have never seen a more perfect meme in my life.

I mean, just look at it. Its a thing of glory!

12. “Let’s just see what happens to these phase 1 people…”

Ope, nothing good!

11. A soothing voice just isn’t going to do it.

F-bombs are a must.

10. Personally I would block caller.

Like I do with all of the other spammers that won’t quit.

9. Trust me, we’re not getting any more money.

They’re still mad they gave us the first money!

8. We really didn’t see it coming, did we.

I don’t know how you really could have, though.

7. Well, until I get my first summer electric bill. anyway.

We…just turned our AC up.

6. They might as well just give up now.

Their teachers aren’t going to want to talk about it, either. Too soon.

5. You’re gonna need a bigger highlighter.

Or a bigger memory.

4. People are making this way harder than it is.

But I mean, by all means, eat the cheese.

3. There is alcohol, so you have to give it at least half a star.

That’s it, though.

2. If it means I have to put makeup on then no.

Maybe Marco Polo if I can get the right light.

1. I am in this image and I don’t like it.

Between online shopping and the grocery store, no money has been saved.

These are right up my alley – I hope they made you happy, too!

Which was your favorite? Is the crazy ever going to end? Tell me in the comments!

The post 13 Memes That Sum up the Madness That Is 2020 appeared first on UberFacts.

Memes That Are Just So Perfectly 2020

2020 has been a lot, has it not? Like a case of poison ivy that just won’t go away, or a neighbor whose trash just keeps blowing into your yard.

Or, you know, like a literal plague.

It takes a special meme to be able to capture that whole mood, but we think these 14 do a pretty good job.

 

14. We’re all going to be sooooo awkward.

But like they say, we’re all in this together.

13. On the upside, no one is telling you to smile.

There’s a good reason, too!

12. I really hope this is photoshopped.

We’re going to pretend it for sure is.

11. Who do I report this to?

The FCC, maybe? Better Business Bureau?

10. This is by far my favorite graph of the year.

It really doesn’t leave anything out.

9. Who doesn’t?

My kids are still eating me out of house and home.

8. But just thinking about getting on a cruise ship makes me want to vomit.

It also made me feel that way before all of this so.

7. What’s sad is I’m not even sure this is photoshopped?

I mean of course it is…right?

6. When a picture makes you want to laugh and cry at the same time.

They’re so cute but our lives are so not.

5. I do love this guy.

I sure do wish he would take a break though.

4. There probably was quite a lot of disease going on back then, to be fair.

Let’s just stick with one issue, yeah?

3. Also he will totally dig ice cream containers out of the trash.

I’m not pregnant anymore; come at me, listeria.

2. I wouldn’t be a bit surprised.

It’s not even the scariest thing I could imagine.

1. We’re all a bunch of failures.

In soooo many more ways than we could have expected.

How are we only halfway through this mess? Argh!

Which one of these really captured the mess of this year for you? Tell us in the comments!

The post Memes That Are Just So Perfectly 2020 appeared first on UberFacts.